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Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Regurgitate (formerly Untitled or Unworthy)
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Tina quietly scrounged near the table and found a pad and a pen. She dashed off a quick ‘thank you’ to Jodi and Bette.
With that, she left what was not her house. Not anymore.
Sneaking away in the night. Didn’t she deserve to sneak? After all, she wasn’t right to have done what she’d done. To feel what she felt.
The thought of Bette returned to her. Kissing Bette. Holding her. Comforting her as she cried. Providing the venue for Bette to proclaim her love for Jodi.
Again, Tina felt her stomach roil. She rushed to a nearby container. The contents were set loose upon the recycling. One more fuck up in a night that seemed full of fuck ups.
She rested her head on her arms, leaning on the plastic container. All she wanted to do was go home, crawl under the covers and forget anything about anything. In an attempt to distract her mind from her body’s state, she ran through the demands of the upcoming day.
Front and center was Angelica. Her daughter spent the night with a neighbor. Tina was certain that she wouldn’t be back early enough for the girl’s bedtime. She just didn’t want to move the girl mid-way through the night and, fortunately, planned to pick the girl up in the morning.
That had been its own struggle. Angelica hadn’t wanted to be left behind. She wanted to go to see her Momma B, her Aunts. Jodi. Her daughter wanted to see Jodi.
Fuck.
She promised the girl that she’d take her to The Planet for breakfast. They’d see Aunt Kit, at least, and whoever else might be around. Tina knew she’d have to watch her daughter, help her daughter, work her way through her favorite breakfast. Soft-boiled eggs. Runny. Snotty.
Tina’s stomach lurched and again. She vomited, bile burning the back of her throat.
Fuck.
She spit into the container, clearing her mouth.
As much as Tina might want to put off the day’s start, she knew it was inevitable. She wrestled the blackberry from her bag and focused on the screen; 5:42am. She pulled out her keys and climbed into the car. Unlike the night before, this time she opened the door. Her attempted window entry would explain the bruises she could feel.
Seated behind the wheel, sneaking away from her former house, Tina felt overwhelmed by emotion. Love. Desire. Failure.
She had failed as Bette’s partner.
Bette had succeeded. Bette had succeeded with Jodi.
A couple. A contrast to Tina. Tina was alone.
Work. Back to the day, the plan for the day. She needed to go to work after getting Angelica. She was the boss. She had to show them that she would work despite the party. She had to be the leader.
Fuck.
Slipping the keys into the ignition she started the car. She slipped away. The first light was beginning to appear in the eastern sky.
Alone. Off to her daughter. Alone.
Fuck.
(the end)
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tina can talk to angie…this was really sad
Talk about a rough night..Maybe one day both Bette and Tina will put their cards on the table …or maybe not…
That is so sad,She does have Angie. Maybe some way,some how, the three of them can be a family again. Bette and Tina needs some soul searching. Then a nice long talk.If only thanks for posting
I feel so bad for Tina. So sad! I hope that Angie can bring a smile to her face.
At least you have Angie in the picture because I don’t think we’ve seen her since Ep.1, why is that, don’t they spend any time with her? I have to feel for Tina on this, damn the next morning had to totally be a bitch. I realize should could just flat out tell Bette she wants her back, but Bette is the one in a relationship, and if she can’t see how Tina feels about her, then she’s an idiot. Obviously these two love each other now if we could only get them to admit it to each other. I love you stories. By the way, if anyone wants to see more spoilers go to youtube look up Bette and Tina, additional spoilers. Beward do not go if you don’t want to see, but OMG. Be still by Tibette heart
I had an idea for a title for this chapter and I had to share. I know we have a similar sense of humour, so you may appreciate. Reduce, reuse, recycle, regurgitate. That’s all I have to add to my earlier comment. For now anyway.
Pseud, brilliant Tina introspective! I love these…keep doing them!
What a way to wake up, sick and on the couch of your ex. Bette is unhappy as is Tina, and the only way to fix it is for Bette and Tina to sit and talk.
Very well done. You capture Tina’s voice so perfectly in your fics. Thank you!
what??????
A rough night followed by work the next morning…with Jenny. Why the hell would they have a party knowing they have to work the next day? Oh wait, they probably have to work everyday, even weekends. Fuck.
This chapter is so sad and I really feel for Tina. Bette’s lying has brought all this about.She may feel somrthing for Jodi but it can’t be love, she still loves Tina so very much it hurts. Yes, she does have Angie and when she sees her, th first thought after saying hello and kisses toAngie, th first thought will be Bette as she looks at the baby. Dear Lord, she’s been punished enough already. PPS
Thanks for giving an explanation as to where Angelica was. The writers create characters for plot points and then don’t know quite what do do with them once they exist. Is Mark buried in Shane’s back yard? Is Papi doomed to drive around ‘LA as purgatory’ for having been such a cliché? I hope Angie makes another appearance, or I’ll be fearing for her safety…As always pseud, insightful and likely exactly what would have happened if these characters were permitted free will.
That was written perfectly…I could see every moment…feel every one of Tina’s Fuck. Thank you!
Thanks for this update. I feel for Tina right now.
i could feel everyone of tinas fucks also but sometimes we assume behaviors or thoughts that just arent to protect ourselves. i thoroughly enjoyed this direction. thx
How about she talks to Bette? Like flat out honestly about what she wants? They both dance around with their self-protective, self-defeating denial of what they feel for each other out of fear and/or convention. Tina gets Brenda (that is the cardiologist’s name, isn’t it?) because Bette has Jodi. Bette says she loves Jodi (after a very long pause) because Tina has Brenda. Makes you want to puke.
Poor Tina! Her moral and physical hangover are very real! Though we agree with bettyvhall. B&T need to talk and discuss things over, if they are considering the chance to be back as a couple and as a family. Thanks for your thoughts. Sincerely, Lucero & Marsha – Your fans from Mexico City
Hey Pseud, That was so touching and tragic. I do think that Tina would find it difficult to talk to any of the gals and that Shane would really be her only option as the rest would let things slip to Bette. Awesome writing. Thank you so much for fleshing out both sides of this heartbreaking tale. Your Loyal Fan.
That was really well done, I could feel Tina’s not-quite-morning after pain very well indeed. I have hope that at least some of the circumstances providing those “f*ck”s will change. Thanks for the post, pseud.