Chapter 79

Tina woke up and Bette was gone again. Her instant panic ended when Bette came out of the bathroom.

“Oh thank God…I thought you took off again Baby.” Tina was relieved.

“No…I think I’m done doing that to you. If I ever feel the need to run away again…I promise I’ll tell you that I’m going.” Bette climbed back into bed just as Tina got up to go to the bathroom. “So…do I need to take your sudden departure personally?” Bette winked at Tina.

“Nope – just gotta go – I’m surprised I lasted this long…I’ll be right back.” Tina smiled at Bette. She was so relieved that they had started talking.

When Tina came back into the bedroom Bette appeared to be sleeping. Tina knew she was faking it. She climbed back into bed and bent over Bette to give her a kiss. Bette’s eyes opened and she wrapped her arms around Tina’s neck. She pulled her toward her. They shared a passionate kiss.

“Thank you Sweetie… for being here for me. I love you very much. Do you know how in love with you I am?” Bette held Tina’s face close to hers. She pulled her toward her and kissed her again.

“I love you too Baby…I think we need to talk more…don’t you?”

Bette let out a heavy sigh. Had it not been for Tina – she very clearly would have chosen to let it go and not revisit the subject at all. “Yeah…I really don’t want to…but…yeah – we should talk more.”

“Ok Porter…spill it.” Tina knew that since Bette had already done the most difficult work, a bit of humor might make it easier for her to continue.

“My, my, Ms. Kennard – aren’t we PUSHY?” Bette knew exactly what Tina was up to – and she was very thankful for the playfulness Tina had injected into a very difficult situation.

“Well…are you going to wait until I have to pee again or what?” Tina grinned at Bette.

“If you have to pee – I’ll just come with you – OK? No secrets right? No secret peeing rituals – OK?”

“Funny Bette – nice way to avoid the real issue!”

“I thought so – did it distract you? Did it work?”

“NOPE!”

“Ah ***** – really?”

“Really Babe! It’s not going to work!”

“Tina…I really don’t know what else to say. Ummm – I’m looking forward to the babies coming but not the way they have to arrive. I’m really afraid something is going to happen. I don’t know how to get past that. I really want to be there for you and not have my fear get in the way. I know you’re all healthy – but things can go wrong. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I lost any of you. Please promise me you’ll never leave me.”

“I don’t plan on leaving you Baby…not now…not ever.”

“Tina…I want you to know that even though this issue has made me nuts – I’m still very happy. Is that possible? I mean is it possible to be such an emotional mess and be happy at the same time?” Bette looked at Tina – searching for an answer in her facial expressions. And she saw it – the answer.

“Bette – you aren’t nuts – you’re worried – there’s a difference you know. And, yeah – you are obviously happy too. I can see that – everyone can see that. You’re going to be a great mom – you know that? You’re such an easy mark for little kids.”

“Yeah…I know. You know…I think Mary Grace and I have kind of reached an understanding. She’s such a cute little smart ***** – kind of reminds me of myself when I was her age. You know what…she told me she loves me T…”

“What’s not to love Baby…everybody loves you…”

“Well obviously love IS blind Tina…obviously you’ve never met the people who don’t like me – and there are quite a few of them.” Bette reached for Tina’s hand.

“Baby…the people who matter love you. The rest of them can go…well you know!”

“Are you getting protective Ms. Kennard. I could have sworn you were about to say that the rest of them can go ‘*****’ themselves!” Bette looked at Tina and raised her eyebrow.

“Was not!”

“Yes you were!” Bette started to tickle Tina. “Come on Kennard – tell the truth!”

“I was not going to say that!” Tina tried to escape Bette’s clutches and the fingers that were tickling her.

“Come on Tina – I’m going to tickle you until you admit it…come on T…admit it!” Bette continued to tickle Tina until she burst out into laughter and couldn’t stop.

“Ok – everyone else…anyone who doesn’t love you can go ***** THEMSELVES! Happy Porter – stop…stop…stop!” Bette finally stopped tickling Tina. Tina finally regained her composure. “Are you trying to make me go into early labor or what?”

“Oh GOD Tina – don’t say that…I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have done that to you….” Bette had a guilty look on her face.

“Jeez Bette! I was only kidding. Try not to be so sensitive…I’ll go into labor when I go into labor.”

“So you think I’m being sensitive huh? I never thought of myself as sensitive. Sensitive?” Bette looked puzzled.

“Oh God Babe – you’re one of the most sensitive people I’ve ever met. Yes YOU are sensitive…You really don’t see it in yourself – do you?”

“No – not really…no.”

“Well – you are…very! Just take my word for it. I think I know you better than you know yourself Bette.”

“I think you probably do. You know sometimes I just get so insecure – it scares me. I was brought up to be the best – the best EVERYTHING! I don’t know that I always want to be the best. I don’t think I can always be the best. I’ve always been afraid to admit that I’m not always confident and on top of things. Sometimes I just don’t think I can do anything right – or not right enough.”

“Bette, I need you to promise me something. When you feel insecure – please tell me. You can trust me with that part of you. I’ll never take advantage of your insecurities. All I ever want from you is for you to be you. Flaws and all. That’s the Bette Porter I love – the vulnerable Bette Porter – the one who can be emotionally naked with me – the one who gets upset and feels the need to run…I love you for who you are. Please don’t ever change who you are…I think you’re perfect just the way you are. Baby – I’ll settle for you just being you – how’s that?”


“Tina – thank you for being patient with me – I love you!”

“I know you do – I love you too Babe!”

“Hey T – how about we have the girls over tonight for a barbeque? What do you think? I have some things to discuss with Alice.”

“Ok – but you and Alice aren’t going to get into one of those boob grabbing altercations are you?” Tina stared at Bette. “YOU ARE AREN’T YOU? Well – ok – let’s have them over. Please – just try not to end up in the pool again ok.”

“Tina – I’m not going to make a promise I can’t keep. Alice and I have ISSUES! Always have – always will!”

“Ok – but please – no major scenes – ok? I know you two. I don’t know why I’m even bothering to say anything….”

“I’ll go call them!!! This is gonna be fun!!!!” Bette got up and left the bedroom to make her calls.

Tina sat at the edge of the bed. She smiled. “Yup – I’m going to have three kids soon! Yup – three! God help me!”