I was bent over the toilet tears streaming down my face as I shoved my fingers down my throat in a desperate attempt to get it all out. I didn’t want it in my body, to me it was like poison. Food had become my enemy.

I kept on going until nothing more came out, exhausted I moved away from the toilet and lied myself down on the cold tile floor. I thought about Bette, it would only be a matter of time before she would find out. We had been living together for one week and she was already getting suspicious. It had been so easy to hide it when we lived apart, I would throw up when she wasn’t around. Now it was getting difficult and the need to throw up was greater than the need to hide it from Bette.

I heard the front door open and close and I quickly got up and rinsed off my face. I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like shit. My eyes were puffy and red and my hair was a mess. I did my best to compose myself before stepping out of the bathroom.

I found Bette in the living room, she looked up at me and smiled as I entered the room.

– Hey baby, she said as she came up to me and kissed me lightly on my lips.

– What’s wrong? she asked concerned when she looked into my puffy, red eyes.

– Nothing babe, are you hungry? I brushed her off hoping she would let it go.

– Yeah, she answered still looking concerned.

– Good, dinner is almost ready! I gave her a quick smile before heading towards the kitchen.

At dinner the conversation returned to normal as Bette told me about the big show coming up at her gallery and me telling her about my day at the studio. She laughed as I told her about the new director I was working with and all his crazy demands. As I got up and started clearing the table she turned serious.

– Tee you barely ate anything, are you ok? She had the concerned look back on her face. This wasn’t the first time this week that she had questioned me about food.