Tommy = Tina
Kelly Jamal = Shane
Mickey = [Mickey]
Jarrell = Bette
Drew = Dana
Mike = Alice

Mickey: Introducing The newest addition to the KaTHo familyThe L girls
And first, were gonna bring out the blondie with a lot more backbone than we all thoughtYo Tina

Tina: What up

Mickey: Do your dizzle mami

Tina: Okayokay

Tina:
Hey all its me Tina
But you can call me T
How would I describe myself lets see
I like to cook, clean, and gardenBasically
Im everything youd expect June Cleaver to be
But Im way hotter though [Yeah thats true]
If you dont believe me you can ask my boo
Bette, thats my baby shes the love of my life
[Speaking of which, lets just bring out you wife]

Mickey: Now this next chickwhew shes hot. There aint no doubt about it. (no doubt about it) Lets see if shes ready though Hey yo B

Bette: Yeah Mick

Mickey: You ready baby

Bette: Yeah, I got you. Bring it in

Bette:
If you dont know me by now Hi my name is Bette Porter
And Im so hot that you couldnt even cool me down with water
Im not boasting or bragging its just a fact
[Move on B, we all know you got it like that]
Alright moving on, lets get serious for a minute
Slow it down, mellow it out so I can kick it
I almost fucked up the best relationship I ever had
I cant believed I messed up that bad [Me neither]
But she took me back and shes about to have my daughter
[Imagine that a baby girl Kennard-Porter]
So all is quiet on the western front
[Aight Shane come on] (*****, what do you want?)

Mickey: My bad I didnt mean to scare you I wanted you to spit a few bars for me. Okay Shanes too fly right? She doesnt even rhyme she talks in rhythm. Okayis she ready? Shā?

Shane: What?

Mickey: You ready to go

Shane: Not really but yeah, Ill go

Shane:
[Hey whats up Shane? Whats that you got?]
Mick, you know I dont talk before my morning shot
[Anyway] Im Shane by the way
Known all over the world for my talents per se
See watch, Hey ma (Whats up) Lets talk (About what)
Whatever you want you know its up to you
(Is that so) Yeah ma (Well thats cool) Aight now
Lets talk about all the wonderful things that you and I could do [Ha]

Mickey: Well that was Shane. A true PLAYAand nowits time to move on to a player of another sort Yo D-Dawg

Dana: What up Mick

Mickey: Drop it on em

Dana:
Here we go now one, two, three, four
Fairbanks full speed coming out the door
Oops I tripped but thats true to my nature
Come incorrect and its true that Ill lay ya [Out]
Yall know what Dane be bout
Im fresh out the closet
I just came out
Im just to bout it to make it through the day
{Distractedly} Ooh who is that? [Dana youre too *****!]

Mickey: Alright ladies and well ladies. Heres the last of the L girls to make an appearance tonight. Shes super hype.ALICE!!!

Alice:
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Whos the cutest of them all
There was a rubble dubble ten minutes it lasted
Mirror: You know youre the cutest one on the show Alice
I agree a few words could be used to describe me
Im smart, funny, nice, and a little quirky
Im a little bithey, whats that smirk I see
[Al your best asset your ***** are perky]

Mickey: Okay let me shut it down cuz we all know what its really about

Mickey:
Shane is quite fly and Danas too hot
Tinas so damn fine she dont know what shes got
Jennys got great eyes add in Alices rack
Three words for BPBaby Got Back
Its no wonder why the shows doing so well
Yeah you got the writing, directing thats swell
The guest stars are great and the actors put in work
Eric does a good job at playing a jerk
But I probably wouldnt watch to be perfectly honest
If this group of women just wasnt the bombest
Ensemble to be put together in history
The secret behind the show just isnt a mystery
Its three little words we all know quite well
The women on this show are ***** AS *****
If you dont agree with me then thats okay
If youre a guy, NEWSFLASH, youre probably *****