Some kind of wonderful

Chapter 31

By the time Bette had re-locked the door and went back upstairs the lights were out in the sitting room and kitchen and the only light in the apartment was from the bedroom. Tina had removed her jogging pants and was standing in nothing but a long black tee-shirt looking out of the window. The only light was coming from the bedside light that Bette had been using to read with.
“So was that her girlfriend in the car ?” Tina asked without turning round.
“Yeah – black 4×4 – fairly new – looked expensive – sorry I didn’t see the girlfriend”
Tina didn’t speak – she just stood and stared out into the darkness. Bette slipped out of her socks and jeans and looked at Tina for a few minutes while she neatly folded her clothes and Tina’s up. Bette walked up behind her lover and slipped her arms through hers and took hold of her. Tina took Bette’s hands and squeezed them
“Thanks for being there for me “
“I always want to be there for you – for the good stuff and the bad – I wish the bad hadn’t  happened like that – that was horrible”
“I wasn’t wrong was I – she blew me off so she could be with this woman ?”
“That was the impression I got – I did hope that you wouldn’t pick the inference up”
“I am not CSI Kennard but it was obvious – Christ what a fucking mess”
“I know – maybe she didn’t expect Emma to come and tell you . Maybe Emma jumped the gun and told you that the two of them had split up when they had agreed that Kate would tell you all along – there is a lot of stuff that no one is telling you”
“I still cannot believe its happening – I mean – I know that they fight but Emma always gives in because she loves Kate – it’s a standing joke. Emma just looked devastated tonight – and I was so vile to her”
“She has been vile to us for a long time – you cannot just change your feelings overnight.  But you are right  -they never struck me as being the sort of couple who would split up. They always seemed solid to me – like my parents”
“Shows how much has changed in four years”
“Yeah “
Bette just held Tina for several long minutes until the chill of the night began to make Tina shiver with cold
“Come on – come back to bed – its warmer there”
Tina turned and kissed Bette on the lips “ Thank you for being you – for being just wonderful. I am glad you are here tonight – I really don’t want to be on my own”
“You aren’t alone – you never will be “
Bette hugged Tina and the blonde took hold of her and they embraced. Bette could feel Tina shaking  – she didn’t know if it was with cold or with delayed shock. She just knew that Tina was in pain and Bette would do anything to make the pain go away for her.
“Come on – lets get under the duvets “
Bette eased away and taking Tina’s hand led her back to bed. They climbed in and snuggled up together. They were both cold and it took several minutes before feet and legs started to warm up. Bette kissed Tina’s brow as she held her.
“I really don’t know what to say” Bette said “ I know there aren’t words that will take away the shock you must feel. I am sorry babe”
Tina was silent for a few seconds “ I was so fucking sure that it was Emma – god how can I have been so stupid “
“Its not being stupid – Emma is the alpha one – she’s the head of the firm -she attracts all the interns. You told me that years ago when we started dating – that she got the attention”
“The quiet ones are the worst “ Tina said with an ironic laugh “And she was fucking her girlfriend while I was ringing her like some idiot – so much for – you are the most important person in my life crap”
Bette had expected Tina to pick up on that – that had been the dumbest mistake that Kate had made.
“We don’t know she was having sex with this new woman but she was certainly with her – she mustn’t have expected you to ring – which means she didn’t expect Emma to tell you”
“And why show up at midnight – what did she think – that I would have dealt with if she left it long enough”
“People do weird things when  they are upset – its hard on everyone – even Kate “
“I just cannot believe that she’s walked out on their marriage  – after 28 years for fucks sake”
“I guess it shows that no one can know what is happening in another relationship”
“Not even your parents”
“Especially not your parents. You see things in a certain way because you want to or because its easier than facing the truth – you don’t want to think of your parents having problems – or splitting up. These days its so common though”
“I never thought she would walk out on Emma “
“No – me neither”
Bette was thinking that this would change a lot – like the fact that Emma would need her daughter now – and how would that be squared away with her daughter’s own relationship ?. There were so many questions and the more that Bette tried to solve them – the more she came up with fresh questions. She was wide-awake now so the questions were likely to just keep piling up until the sheer weight of them sent her to sleep.
“What has this woman got that mom hasn’t ? who the fuck is she ? Does she seriously think I am going to want to meet her ?”
“I think Kate’s timing was so out of synch – she hadn’t thought anything through – or if she had – well then she forgot everything “ Bette said “ Yes I know that she had to tell you that she had left Emma and why – but the last thing you wanted to hear about was how marvellous this new woman is – and for her drive Kate here – that was so wrong Tina”
“At least I didn’t open the front door and see that – did you know who was in the car ?I know you – even before all this training you always were perceptive – Shane used to call you a witch if you remember”
Bette chuckled “ Yes I remember – and I have been called worse for the same skills.” she sighed “ Did I know ? Yes – just the way your mom was – she was on the defensive. I asked her who it was and she said “ just a friend” – she might be a great lawyer but her lying skills must have been in for repair because I don’t think I have heard a worse told lie in a long time”
Tina was stroking Bette’s arms and waist – Bette knew that it was because she needed reassurance and comfort but it was also having the effect of turning the brunette on. For the first time since they started dating again – Bette wished that her usual reaction to Tina would stop sending signals to her brain and to her groin – neither of them wanted to have sex tonight for once. This was about support and need – not sex. Bette moved her position a little and Tina stopped stroking her waist and merely held onto her.
“I don’t want to meet this woman – why the hell did she keep telling me how much I would like her ?”
“Because she needs validation for what she has done – she needs your approval. Just like you want her validation for seeing me again”
“Well she is not getting it “
“As I said – her timing is way off the mark. You have to get over the shock of all of this. Maybe Emma is glad she is gone but you said she looked devastated “
“She was – she was “ Tina paused “I have never seen her like that. For everything she is – and I have called her every name under the sun – for everything she is and has done. She loves mom. This is going to be something she never gets over even if Kate comes back to her”
“Do you think she will – is this just a phase ?” Bette asked -she had not thought that maybe this was something that would blow over.
“I don’t know Bette – I am utterly in the dark”
“I know “
There was a long silence Bette wondered if maybe Tina had fallen asleep but as she listened to her breathing she didn’t think that she had. She was just lying thinking – and that was only going to twist the knife in deeper
“I will go and see Emma tomorrow” Tina said
Bette was glad that she had classes solidly from 10am until after 4. They hadn’t been planning to spend the evening together but she knew that for a while she would offer to spend as much or as little time with Tina as she needed.
“You want to come over – I will be out of class by about 4:45. I can be back at my place by 5:15 ?”
Tina was silent “ Yeah – that would be nice – thanks – you can still study”
“I can never study when you are around because oddly you are much more interesting than the lifecycle of the blowfly “
“I think that’s a compliment “
“It is – I am ahead with my reading. Its just my freaky obsessive nature that is making me try and get so far ahead with my reading, You are way more important to me babe- come over and we will take it from there – we can stay in or we can go out for a few beers. See how you feel “
Tina was silent a little longer
“Maybe Emma might change her attitude to you and I “
Bette didn’t think so “ Maybe “
“I have never sat down and talked to her – you know – asked her what her issues are. And I haven’t told her what her attitude has done to me and my confidence. You are a fantastic girlfriend   – she has to want that for me”
Bette didn’t know what Emma did or didn’t think about their relationship and anything she did think she was now not going to be able to say out loud because it had been Kate and not Emma who had walked out on their marriage. Bette was not going to enjoy having to bite her tongue about Emma but she was going to have to.
“I am going to find my mother tomorrow and find out how much she knew and when did she know”
“Its not your mom’s fault – though you remember when we were there for Sunday lunch a couple of weeks ago”
“Yes”
“Well I went into the kitchen with your mom at one point – after your dad had welcomed me back to the family and said I was always welcome to come round for food and all that.”
“Right”
“So I said I thought that mom was acting like an ass because she couldn’t admit that she was wrong four years ago and if we make a go of our relationship then it shows that she was wrong. Your mom said something that struck me as odd at the time but maybe now – maybe now it is more obvious “
“What did she say ?”
“She said that Emma would have a reason -it wasn’t a reason that we understood but her problem was that by the time she decided to share that reason it might be too late”
“Did you not ask her what she meant ?”
“Yes –  she said that by the time Emma explained herself she could have lost me because it was obvious that I was upset about how she was going on about us and how you shouldn’t go back and all that shit”
“You  think that what Rosemary really meant was that by the time Emma got that big old stick out of her butt she might have already lost Kate not you “
Tina nodded “ Its something to think about “
“I will ask her what she meant – I know that Kate and mom are close so its obvious that mom knew but what I don’t know is how long she knew. Maybe mom didn’t say anything to Emma because she is so pissed with her for not approving of me as your girlfriend”
“Its not easy when you know that one person is cheating and you are friends with both parts of the couple. That happened at college a couple of times and its sucks”
“That happened to me as well. My attitude was that I wasn’t taking sides and for the most part I got away with it. You are going to have to step a delicate line here Tina”
“To take sides or not you mean ?”
“Kate has supported us and you – but she’s the one whose walked out”
Tina was silent for a few minutes
“FUCK AND FUCK AGAIN AND FUCKING  FUCK – why the hell should I have to take sides – they are my parents and I love both of them. This is such shit – why the fuck should I take fucking sides ?”
The outburst seemed to break the dam of Tina’s emotions and she burst into tears. Bette had expected tears and she took hold of Tina and held her
“Come on babe – cry as much as you want “
Tina did cry – she sobbed for several minutes with Bette just holding her and letting her get out whatever she needed to. Finally after five minutes the tears started to dry up and with Bette stroking her back Tina fell into an uneasy and light sleep. Bette lay beside her stroking her back and holding onto her.
There was no doubt that this changed a lot between them – Emma had gone from being the baddie to being the victim – while Kate had taken the opposite path. Bette much preferred Kate but she still couldn’t believe how badly  the older woman had screwed up telling Tina that she had left her mother for someone else. The whole thing had been a classic lesson in “ what-not–to-do”. No wonder Tina had reacted badly. The dust was going to take a while to settle on this revelation Tina would go and see Emma – and then what ? Would Emma soften her stance on their relationship ? Bette wasn’t sure she would trust Emma suddenly coming round and approving of them as a couple. After what had happened four years ago Bette was pretty certain that she would never trust Emma Kennard ever again. But she was a fact of life – Bette had to deal with her. She was Tina’s mother and that counted for so much. As Bette soothed Tina into a deeper sleep her own mind was still in full day-light mode.

The next morning Tina slept late – Bette showered and dressed before taking Tina some coffee. The blonde was starting to wake up as Bette put the coffee down on the bedside table.
“How are you feeling ?  Did you get much sleep ?”
“On and off – what time is it ? “
“Its half eight”
“Fuck – I am going to be late for work”
“Its okay – I spoke to your boss – told them I was your partner”
Tina smiled at the description – she could get used to that. She reached out and took Bette’s hand.
“I said you had hardly slept all night and you were feeling really unwell. He said you can have the day off – no worries. I guess he’s not bothered as you are a temporary member of staff”
“I am the only person who hasn’t thrown a sickie-  thanks Bette – that was really sweet of you”
“I knew you would be wrecked today”
“I am – and I could do with the day to myself – I need to get my head around all of this”
“Are you going to go and see either of them ?”
“I have to see Emma”
“Do you think she will be at work ?”
“I don’t know to be honest. Part of me thinks she is such a robot that she will go in just because there will be nothing worse for her than to sit in an empty apartment all day – drinking scotch and getting more depressed. But then – would you want to be in the office where everyone knows your business and they are all gossiping about you?”
“Sounds like hell “ Bette said with some honesty.” What about Kate – its hard that they work in the same firm – the one with your mom’s name in it. “
“I would hope that Kate is not at work if Emma is. Shit this is a mess – and I am piggy in the fucking middle”