To The Peak

Peggy turned to Mark and said, “Now, you get the ***** out and film my exit shotand you, waif, think you can hold that big microphone high enough that it’s out of the shot but captures my dialog?”

Jenny struggled to get the furry head of the boom out of the door.  “Um, yeah; shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Excellent.  Now Bette,” Peggy yelled over to the other jeep, “Where is she, Bette, I need you and those two to get the packs out and carry them over to the mules there.  Everyone ready?  Excellent.”

Bette looked over to Helena and Tina who were crammed into the back of the jeep, surrounded by the packs.  “Mules?!?  And why am I in charge all of a sudden?”

Peggy, hearing Bette’s legitimate question, yelled over, “Because you’re the only one out of the three of ya’s who’s ever run anything by herself.  The other two are mere coattail riders, spoiled worker bees, if you catch my drift.  Now quit your whining before I have ‘Twiggy’ here, turn the hose on ya.  MOVE!

Shane’s eyes bulged as she pointed to her own chest.  “Yes I’m talking about you.  Notice I haven’t assigned you a task?  I mean, Jesus Christ, when you get a minute eat something.  You look like you’re about to break in halfkids today.  They don’t even take the time for a meal.  You, you over there, JLo-Light.  Yes, you, now you’ve got some meat on your bones.  You’ll do just fine.  Get the ***** over here and hold my door open for this shot.”

Carmen looked at Shane with an “Aw, don’t feel bad,” face as she hurried herself to Peggy’s door.  “Now JLo, I’m going to say “ACTION” and you’re going to open the door for me, got it, think you can handle that, ya ***** little thing?”  Carmen nodded as Peggy countered with a wink.

“And.ACTION!”

Mark held up the camera as Jenny struggled with the boom mic.  When Carmen opened the door, Peggy exposed a long Donna Karen riding boot that went to her knee.  As her heel hit the ground, she stepped out wearing skin tight cream colored riding pants under a long, black Angora wrap with a complimentary mink collar.  For effect, she turned her body toward the setting sun, dramatic lighting of course, and pulled from under her wrap a snake skin Derby, pinned up on one sideya know, to hold her smokes.  She slowly lifted the hat to her head, adjusting it on a jaunty angle.  She polished off the shot by slowly reaching down to her thigh holster; retrieving her trusty flask and having a shot of her own, if you know what I mean.  With the skill of a vaudevillian ventriloquist, she screamed out, “and.CUT!  Okay people, that’s a keeper.  To the Jackasses.”

Bette picked her jaw up off the ground and said, “Jackasses.  How ironic.”

Peggy sat on a smooth rock as she replenished her flask for the journey down into the canyon, but kept one eye planted on the “worker bees” loading the mules.  Jenny and Mark were still filming as Shane walked over and took a seat next to Peggy.  “Wow, bourbon.  I would have thought you a gin woman.”  Peggy finished filling her flask and tilted the bottle back; killing what remained before throwing it to the side.  “Gin is a cocktail for cocktail hour.  Bourbon is the drink of men, and my darling, we’re about to do a man’s job.”  With that, Peggy swaggered her ***** on over to the head mule and turning to Mark said, “Okay, give me a boost, gorgeous.  I ain’t as young as I look.” 

As Mark hoisted the drunk onto her mule, she grabbed for the reins and said, “Ok, get the camera.  Now, everyone, get your asses on the goddamn beasts cuz we’re movin out.  I don’t want to hear ***** from any of youthis is my show.  I call the shots.  Stick with me and no one gets hurt.”

Turning her good side to the hills below and waiting for the “click” of the camera, Peggy continued, “Now that view might look like any pretty post card you’ve received in the mail but trust me, those rocks ain’t kind on the body.  Stick with me and we’ll make it to the bottom safely.  Once we’re half way the bottom, we’re going to set up camp.  We’re losing the sun so we have to be steadfast in our effort.  Once nightfall is upon us, we’re going to make a fire and release the flares.  Now, if my calculations are accurate, which I’m sure they are, our wayward campers should see the flare and be led the rest of the way to us ‘a la’ the roaring fire.  Got it?  Ha, piece of cake.

And.CUT!