Fan Fiction
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The Architecture Of Love
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TWO
We sit down at a small table behind the front line, where – thank God – the music isn’t so loud to deafen you permanently.
I cross my legs, smoothing down my miniskirt as my new friend plops down on the chair in front of me, her shoulders slumped, her face… well, her fucking pretty face a true mystery.
She looks at me like I’m an alien and blinks her eyelids.
The waiter approaches us immediately and I turn to him.
“I’ll have a vodka Martini, very dry and straight up… with three olives, and my sullen friend here will have…”.
I glance at her.
“A Coke”, she says, quietly.
“…Alright, the poster girl for sexually confused women will have a Coke”.
The waiter nods and leaves.
I sigh and arch my eyebrow, clasping my hands on the table.
“So… The girl on the phone…”, I start.
“Lucia”, she interrupts me flatly.
“…Lucia, right. We were together for five months…”.
She rests her hands on her thighs.
“I thought it was four”.
“You were paying attention”, I smirk, and she takes a look around, sighing.
“Everyone in this club was paying attention”.
I wave my hand in the air.
“Anyway, we were together for five months. But I knew it wasn’t gonna work out… ‘cause the first time she comes over I find out that she doesn’t wash her hands after peeing…”.
The stranger just blinks, staring at me, and I frown.
“You don’t do that, do you?”, I ask her.
“No”.
“So fuckin’ gross. And in my experience…”, I say sighing, “…It extends to other aspects of an individual’s personality”.
She doesn’t reply, so I lean forward on the table.
“Last time I saw her, Lucia was wearing a blue sweater and an idiotic expression”.
The waiter comes back, placing our drinks on the table.
“The sweater was new”, I point out staring at the brooding girl.
I raise my glass.
“Here’s to good riddance Lucia”.
She raises hers.
“Good riddance Lucia”.
I toss off my Martini and call out.
“Hey, again please!”.
The waiter comes back immediately and leans towards me.
“…And drier this time…”, I yell into his ear, “…And three olives, not two!”.
He just nods, walking away.
I smile at the nameless girl.
“Three. Nutritional value”.
She tilts her head, quite amused.
“Now, where were we? Oh, so Lucia”.
“Right”, she says, plainly.
“The sex part wasn’t bad…”, I shrug, “…You know, for a while. And then her consummate laziness and lack of imagination became tediously self-evident. Every time, everything was exactly the same as the time previous…”.
I shake my head pensively.
“…It was as if she had followed some step-by-step instructional video”.
The girl nods, sipping her coke.
“And about two weeks ago, guess what I found in the apartment?”.
“A step-by-step instructional video…”.
I slam my hand on the table.
“Right! Here’s the topper! And then I timed her performance one night. Right? And then I checked the running time on the video. And guess what?”.
“To the minute”, she says, staring at me.
I nod.
“Right down to it. Twenty-three minutes, to be exact”, I toss off my second drink, “Including credits”.
I place the glass back on the table and throw my hands in the air.
“Anyway, she’s history. But I still have Blanche”.
“Who would be the cat”.
I sigh dreamingly.
“Oh, a great cat. Very feline”.
The girl shrugs.
“The best cats are”.
I lift my chin and narrow my eyes, trying to imitate Blanche’s look.
“Blanche can look at you with a gaze of unflappable superiority that seems to spring from near total detachment and disinterest… Not unlike how you’re looking at me now”.
She bows her head a little.
“Thank you”.
I chuckle, pausing a little.
“You don’t say very much, do you?”.
She arches her eyebrows.
“Does anyone, when they’re with you?”.
I frown.
“Don’t get mean. We don’t know each other well enough yet. When we do, then you can get mean”, I say, and she doesn’t reply.
“ So we should do this again sometime”, I add after a few seconds.
She shakes her head, seriously.
“We’re not doing anything”.
“Okay. Then let’s not do this”, I laugh, “Let’s do something else. I’ll even let you decide where we go on our date”.
She clenches her jaw.
“I don’t date”.
I find myself surprised.
“Well. Gee. I don’t have a witty comeback for that one…”, I chuckle in discomfort, “…I mean, I’m used to any number of brush-off but… that’s…uh, that’s a new one…”.
I look up at her and we exchange a gaze.
“She doesn’t date…”, I whisper under my breath, looking down at the table.
“I’ll admit I’ve seen you around, you know?”, I say then, smiling, “You’re always… You’re always dancing alone”.
She lights a cigarette and takes a drag.
“That’s the way I like it”.
“Why is that?”.
She moves on her chair and clears her voice.
“Look…”, she says then, “…I don’t want to be rude or unkind or… mean. But I just don’t come out with my entire like story over Martinis and a Coke”.
I shut my mouth and she gives me an apologizing look.
“I am sorry, really”, she says, “Your cat’s lucky to have you”.
She stands up and walks away.
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Yay, your back with a new one. Interesting start, Carmen has quite a temper here and Shane has just a coke and leaves.