The Collaboration Part 2 – Happily Ever After – CH 2 – Katey’s turn:

            Alice and Dana proceeded to the Mini. Dana was already in and buckled before Alice even opened her door. She looked back at the apartment and then getting in, reached for the seatbelt landing her stare back on the door.

            Dana: “If you’re going to be like this all night you might as well bring him.”

            Alice: “Wha? Dane, I’m fine. Stop YELLING AT ME!!”

            Dana looked around with a face and landing back on Alice said, “Al, I wasn’t yelling.”

            Alice: “Oh, well, it felt like you were.”

            Dana: “Are you ok Alice?”

            Alice: “Yeah, why? I’ll just….I’ll be right back!”

            Alice ran into the apartment and emerged a few moments later wearing her baby harness with PJ’s little head sticking out of it. She jumped in the car wearing a smile as she threw PJ from the harness onto Dana‘s lap as Dana just stared ahead. The last straw for Dana was the sound of baby talk coming from Alice‘s lips.

            Alice: “Go to mommy my little baaaaaby! Uh, Dane, you might….want to….buckle him…No Biggie!”

            They arrived at the Porter/Kennard residence and as they got out of the car Dana handed off PJ wearing a grim face. As she helped Alice get PJ into his harness, Lenore was coming down the driveway from the back yard. She yelled back to the people in the yard as she ran down to greet them.

            Lenore: “OH, THE GIRLS ARE HERE!! My girls are herrrreeee, oh how wonderful. (Sneeze) Why are you carrying a cat?”

            Alice: “Hi mom. This is PJ, PJ, meet Grandma!”

            Lenore‘s face dropped at the sound of Grandma and a slight internal roar could be heard echoing from her mouth.

            Alice: “Sorry, PJ, this is …. Lenore!”

            Lenore‘s smile returned as she gave Dana a kiss on the cheek.

            Dana: “Hey Lenore.”

            Lenore: “Well, come on back. Dana, your mother is a fuckin pisser!”

            Dana‘s mouth dropped as she said, “My mother? Where did you meet my mother?”

            Lenore: “Well didn’t Alice tell you?…..I guess not! Well, my daughter is just full of surprises, aren’t you, you little Devil! She invited your mother so I could…..”

            Alice turned to Dana with a slight misting of tears in her eyes.

            Alice: “I just thought it was time our mother’s met Dana! Is that so horrible?”

            Dana: “Um, no, it’s just….fuck Alice, MY MOTHER?”

            Dana ran into the back yard and running past Tina who had her arms out, ran right to her mother as Tina turned with confusion that turned to laughter at the sight of Alice carrying the cat in a harness.

            Tina: (Kissing Alice) “Isn’t that a baby harness?”

            Alice: “Yeah, isn’t it cute how he just fit’s right in it?”

            Tina: “I don’t think he’s comfortable Al…I mean, his leg’s don’t look comfortable hanging out of it like that.”

            Shane: “Holy shit!! Fucking excellent!! You have a Porta-pussy! I love it.”

            Alice: “Might as well have a Porta-pussy since I’m at the Porter-pussy house and all. It’s time for his feeding. Shane, can you help me with him?”

            Lenore: (Walking by with two cocktails) “Just keep your pussy away from me, I’m allergic and under contract! Don’t need the bags!”

            Tina and Shane both raised their smiling eyes at each other as Shane laughed and Tina mouthed, “FEEDING?” Shane regained composure and followed Alice in.

            Tina shook off the weirdness of Alice and made her way over to the table where Dana was now trying to OVER explain herself to her mother. She and Alice had been official for 3 months but Dana neglected to inform not only her mother, but also Alice that she didn’t in fact tell her parents. Lenore dropped the cocktail down in front of Sharon Fairbanks and as she faced her said, “Thank you Lenore!” while letting out a laugh. Dana‘s face dropped.

            Dana: (Whispering) “Mom, you’re drinking? With, with Lenore?”

            Sharon: “Yes Dana, I’m having a drink. Is there a problem?”

            Dana: “Um, no, no problem, I just didn’t know you…..”

            Bette was walking around mingling before she made her way over to Tina’s side who was just staring at Dana fumbling over her whispered words with her mother.

            Bette: “Dana didn’t tell her mom about Alice did she?”

            Tina: (Finishing her cocktail with one gulp) “Nope! I’m horny!”

            Bette snapped her shocked stare at Tina. Dana was trying to tell her mother about Alice but was having trouble because she kept getting cut off by the now inebriated starlet.

            Dana: “Mom, um, I was going to call you…see, well, something happened and…”

            Lenore: “STORY TIME!”

            Everyone started gathering around Lenore who had since stood and raised her cocktail in the air.

            Lenore: “Everyone! Please, I have stories!”

            As everyone started walking over to the overage starlet for story time, Bette turned to Tina and said, “I did notice you wore that low cut blouse. How dare you! At our barbeque Tina!” Tina just smiled and looking straight ahead as she rocked back and forth said, “Yep!” Bette turned and looked at everyone gathering around Lenore’s table and turned back to Tina. “You’re lucky this party is practically running itself!!” as she grabbed her hand and yanked her toward the house.

            Bette and Tina quickly blew passed Shane and Alice who were attempting to feed PJ from a baby bottle. Bette pulling Tina stopped for a second, looked on, and turning to her said, “I’d say something, but not right now!”

            Alice: “Oh shit! Shane, I think he’s rejecting my nipple!!!”

            Shane: “He’s not latching, tilt it.”

            Tina: “Keep walking!”

            Bette and Tina ran into their bedroom and as they shut the door, Bette threw Tina against it and kissing her, started to go up the front of her low cut blouse. Tina let out a moan as a couple other moans were coming from behind Bette. Tina and Bette’s tongues came to a halt as their eyes opened and Tina reached over flicking on the light.

            Kit: “Do you two fuckin mind?”

            Bette: “OH MY GOD!! Kit! That’s…that’s our bed!!”

            Kit: “Well no shit, but right now, Its mine and Ivan’s! Jesus Bette, a little privacy here?”

            Ivan: “My deepest apologies ladies.”

            Bette and Tina both stood silent as Tina turned and ripping open the door, dragged Bette into the front bedroom overlooking the yard and porch. Tina turned and started to unbutton Bette’s pants as she kissed her neck but Bette seemed a little preoccupied.

Bette: “They’re in our bed Tina!”

Tina: “Oh well, it’s too late to stop it so just….forget…..about….it….”

(To the yard)

Lenore: “SO THEN I SAID, BLOW YA, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YA!! HAHAHAHAHAHA….”

Dana threw her head on the table and started to shake it from side to side. She then looked up with one eye to see her mother’s reaction to Lenore. To her surprise her mother seemed to have a locked stare on Lenore accompanied by a painted on fixed smile. Dana hit her mother on the shoulder to snap her out of it but Sharon continued to look on.

Dana: “Mom? I’m sorry if she’s…..”

Sharon: “Mesmerizing! Just mesmerizing!”

Dana looked at her mother and then to Lenore, then to her mother, then to Lenore, and finally back to her mother in shock which quickly faded to awkwardness.

Dana: “Um, I’m going to go find Alice…mom?”

Sharon: “No, I’m fine Dana, I don’t need another drink!”

Dana: “Huh?”

Bette threw Tina up onto the dresser and grabbing her hair in her hand spotted a figure walking up the steps to the porch. Tina continued to bite at her neck as Bette reached over and separated the blinds with her fingers. She watched with squinted eyes, as the figure appeared to be looking around and then gave the doorbell a ring. Bette couldn’t see and as she pulled the string causing the blinds to go up yelled, “HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS MY FATHER DOING HERE?” as Melvin froze in her direction.

Tina: (Still biting) “The who now?”