The Collaboration – The L-Wank Crew – Chap 11 – the Jaded northern Rogue
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Alone
“I don’t care what the fuck you two are doing, get the fuck over here, right the fuck now, they just wheeled Shane into surgery, fucking BRAIN surgery, I had to sign the papers my fucking self! So fucking get the fuck over here!” Alice blared loudly into the phone as she hung it up with a vicious slam. Her hands were shaking and Dana was staring open mouthed at her.
“When did you start using ‘fuck’ so much Alice?” Dana asked, her voice filled with regret, pain, and the worry of having just seen Shane‘s almost lifeless body wheeled into the operating room to have a hole drilled into her head. Papers had been shoved into Alice‘s hands, and she’d scribbled her name, hoping she wasn’t signing Shane‘s death certificate.
“Since one of my fucking best friends is being cut open like Frankenstein’s monster, so I’m a bit stressed, sue me.” Alice sat down in the very comfortable waiting room that they’d been escorted too. The chairs were over stuffed, and in a nice light grey color, the carpet was plush enough for you to want to take your shoes off and wiggle your toes in it. It dawned on Dana that it was so nicely done because sometimes, it was the last place you’d be gathered, praying and hoping for your loved one to live.
“Oh god…” Dana muttered, collapsing onto a chair as Alice rushed over to her, she wrapped her long arms around Dana and Dana buried her face in Alice‘s shoulder. Her body shivering as Alice cooed at her, smoothing out the silky brown hair as she used the palm of her hand to wipe away the flood of tears that had exploded on Dana‘s cheeks. Realization hit her with a brute force as she had the image of Shane‘s being lowered into a hole in the ground for all of eternity.
“Shane could still die… I never told her how I really liked her, love her as a friends. I am always giving her hell for sleeping around.. For her clothes…” Alice cupped Dana‘s face into her hands and shook her head.
“She knows all of that Dana, she does, she honestly does or she would have said ‘screw you Dana‘ a long time ago, yeah?” Dana nodded at Alice‘s seemingly solid logic as the ER doctor came walking in. She looked exhausted, but still held an inner light that drew people to her all the time, even though she shunned most of the advances. She brushed a stray hair away from her face as she cleared her throat.
“Hi, I’m Bianca, Um, Dr. Bianca Courtland, I’m the one that took care of Shane in the ER?” She stated and asked in the same breath and Alice stood up from her crouching position and nodded,
“May I?” Bianca asked, and Dana waved her in and Bianca smiled, Dana thought she was rather formal for a doctor. Having asked to come into a room, polite and cute Dana thought to herself.
“I was just in the observation lounge, we can watch the surgeons operating, a learning tool. I just thought you’d like to know that Shane is not doing well. They’ve asked me to find out if she is an organ donor.”
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“You hate me, don’t you?” Tina asked and Bette shook her head no as she flew through a yellow light, trying, with desperation to get to the hospital. Bette glanced over to make sure that Tina was wearing a seat belt and was relieved to see that she was. She sighed as she answered Tina‘s odd question.
“No, I most certainly do not hate you Tina. I still love you.”
“You don’t deserve my love!” Tina blasted, and then she sighed, her emotions were swinging from one extreme to another and she was afraid she might ruin any chance she ever had to at least be friends with Bette. She hated her with a furious passion at this very moment, yet when she looked at her, she still saw the woman she once loved more than her very own life.
“I know that Tina.” Bette said softly, putting her blinker on and letting another car yield and she turned onto the off ramp.
“I have been Bette and Tina for so long that I don’t know who I am anymore. Isn’t that a sad thing to say about yourself? I lost myself in you, with you, and about you. I forgot who Tina Kennard was, until you fucked Candace, god I hate saying her name out loud.” Tina spat and Bette said nothing, waiting, knowing that there was more to come.
“I am almost glad you did it, because I realized that we were not in a healthy relationship anymore. We just kept taking from each other and never giving, someday were would wake up and find that there was nothing left of ourselves, just a rotting carcass.”
“Jesus Tina, that is a mental image I don’t need right now.” Tina’s eyes were vacant of emotion as she stared blankly at Bette and for the first time Bette realized that she had not only ruined their relationship, she’d broken Tina, not just her heart, but her spirit and more than likely, her very soul.
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“She… Organ… Oh no.. no…” Dana blurted out and Bianca remember what part of the job she hated with a total and utter passion. Dana stood, waving her hands around as if she were trying to shake something awful from them.
“I’m sorry, they are doing everything that they can, but it is not looking good at all.” Bianca stated in a soft voice, the emotionless voice of a doctor.
“She is… one… A donor…” Alice muttered, and Bianca nodded, she was about to step through the door when Bette and a battered Tina walked into the room, having been led there by a very nice CNA from the ER.
Bianca stared openly at Tina, and then glanced quickly at Bette‘s knuckles, seeing that they were bruise free. Whoever had hit the blonde, it hadn’t been her dark friend, that was a good thing. She quickly assessed the damage from afar and then said in her doctor tone of voice.
“Can I have a look at that nose ma’am?” Bianca asked and Tina turned to her and shrugged, as Dana told them what had happened with Shane.
“She’s going to die?” Tina asked Bianca as she slipped on a pair of latex gloves, palpating the nose as Tina yelped in soft pain.
“Ouchie’s huh? What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” Bianca questioned, reaching into her pocket and pulling out an alcohol pad and wiping away some dried blood from her nose.
“I beat up the mistress.” She stated, and Bianca said nothing, thinking that this was quite the diverse crowd of women.
“You hit Candace?!?” Alice asked, going over and high fiving Tina, who winced as Bianca pressed a sore spot just as she did, and Bianca had her look up, and she check her jaw and took her pulse.
“It’s not broken, but you’d better put some ice on it, I’ll have a nurse come and do it here, and start a chart too.” Bianca stood up, and stripped the gloves off and headed out the door, and Dana said.
“Thank you, for coming to update us.”
“No worries.” Bianca said, as she went right back into the observation lounge and stood, watching as Shane‘s life bled away from her.
*****
Darkness, silence and darkness ebbed and washed over her, sweeping her into the abyss of her chaotic mind as she drifted, and she felt hands under her arms. She tried to stand, or was she standing already? She honestly couldn’t tell, she head her foster mother’s voice in the background, a constant drone.
~Not worthy, you are nothing. A waste of space and of human flesh….~
“If I’m nothing, why are you here? Why do you care?” Shane said, finally finding her voice as she felt something deep inside of her turn on, a click as if the last piece of the puzzle had finally been put in it’s place. She felt something stirring inside of her as she found her voice, strong and full of her old fire.
A pinpoint of light appeared and she felt herself being pulled, pushed, led or drawn to the light. It was true, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. How appropriate, that she die like an average human being. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, how mundane and repetitive.
~Waste? A nice piece of whore meat like you, why waste it? ~
The foster father, oh how she loathed him, she could still feel his hands on her body in the middle of the night, slimy and smelling of cigarette smoke, day old beer on his breath as he licked the side of her face.
“I escaped you. I fought you, and I won.” She muttered, and the light grew brighter, bigger as she was suddenly standing mere inches from it, the precipice of her life lay here, the edge of destiny, this is what it all lead too.
“Well that sucks.” Shane said, crossing her arms and staring into the light, her classic demeanor was back, the fuck what they think, be who I wanna be attitude drifted from her as she stared into the light.
“This sucks like HUGE! This is it? This is all I get, some shitty lightening, a visit from dead people? Do I look like Haley Joel Osmond? Huh? Fuck you, who ever you are, and fuck this, I’m not done yet! I haven’t lived enough to be done yet man!” Shane bellowed as the light winked out of existence, and Zoe‘s soothing voice was at her ear again.
“Now that is the Shane I know and love.” Shane spun around and then.
Darkness.
*****
“Come on Shane, fight.” Bianca said, as she pressed the intercom button to ask how it was going, just as Shane flat lined on the screen.
“Fuck!” Bianca said, slamming her hand on the glass, and one of the doctors looked up, and gave her a steeling look as she calmed herself. Why was this woman effecting her so deeply and profoundly?
She reminds you so much of yourself, doesn’t she B? Her sister’s voice drifted into her ears for the first time since she’d last seen her when she was a mere 10 years old, they’d been separated and put into foster homes. The next time she’d seen her sister was a simple head stone marker with her name and date of birth and death on it.
“Yeah, she does.” Bianca said as she sat and watched, hoping beyond hope.
*****
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You had to hit me in the head with a brick.The Doctor is Zoe sister.That is why Shane keeps thinking she Zoe is talking to her Thankss bvh Got to go to bed. I’m not thinking at all