Chapter 2

Tina woke up angry. Her head hurt and she was tired of crying. She jumped in the shower, dressed and headed to Bettes before she lost her nerve. She was halfway there when she started shaking. When she pulled into the driveway she thought that she was having a full-blown panic attack, but she fought the urge to run away. She needed to confront Bette. She stood at the door and wondered, Do I knock, or use my key?
She slid her key in the lock.

The house was dark and unwelcoming. It had a different feel to her as she carefully closed the door behind her. She walked through the house, softly calling Bettes name. A sudden chill came over her, as she thought, What if shes not alone? Tina stopped dead in her tracks. She hadnt considered that before. Tina asked herself if she could handle seeing Bette and Candace together. NO! her heart screamed. Her mind however, said that she could, so she ventured deeper into the house.

Bette was still in bed. Tina saw her wrapped in the sheets of their bed. She looked beautiful and Tinas eyes began to tear up as her anger melted away. She placed her hand against the wall to steady herself as she watched her wife sleep. Tina was reminded of days past, when her and Bette were happy. What happened? she wondered. Bette stirred in her sleep and Tinas heart fluttered. She slowly walked into the bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed, and began to stroke Bettes face. Everything inside her screamed that she shouldnt be doing this, but she resigned herself to the fact that she loved Bette. She always had and always would.

Bette stirred under Tinas soft touch. Out of habit, Bette stretched her arms out to embrace her lover. Bettes touch was like fire on Tinas skin. She sat there on the edge of the bed with Bettes arms around her waist, silently crying.

Consciousness slowly crept up on Bette. She was holding someone. Her eyes sprang open. What she saw was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Tina.
Hey. Whats Bettes voice trailed off as Tina turned to look at her. Her eyes were red and puffy, soaked with tears.
Tina. She whispered.
Tina allowed Bette to pull her down on the bed and wrap her arms around her. They lay there together, crying. Bette was holding Tina so tightly she felt she would break her ribs. They laid that way for the better part of an hour, before Bette tried to speak to Tina.
Tina, Please forgive me.
Tina sat up and wiped her eyes. She walked into the bathroom and washed her face with cold water, then came back in the bedroom to look at Bette.
Why, Bette, Why? A long, awkward silence followed. Bette said, I dont know.
Tina walked over to the bed and took Bettes hand in hers. She turned her hand so that Bettes palm was facing up. Tina silently slid her wedding ring off of her finger as Bette began sobbing and saying, No. over and over while shaking her head. Tina placed her wedding band in Bettes palm and closed her fingers around it. Tina was crying now, too.
Please, Tina, no!!!! Tina kissed Bettes fingers as she dropped her hand and walked out of the room.

Bette sat and stared as Tina walked out of the room, out of her life. She couldnt move, couldnt breath, only cry. She threw herself down onto the bed and began to weep in a way that she never had before.

Tina stopped at the front door, waiting for what? She realized that she was waiting for Bette to come after her. All Tina could hear were loud gut wrenching sobs coming from the bedroom. It took every ounce of strength she had to walk out of the bedroom. She knew that if she walked out the front door that it was over. She was walking out of Bettes life for good. Tina stood with her hand on the doorknob, sobbing herself, and listened to the sounds of her lover weeping. Every ounce of her wanted to run back in the bedroom and cry with Bette, tell her that she loved her, that they could work all of this out. But could she ever really forgive Bette? Tina let out a wail that came from the pit of her soul, opened the door, and ran to her car.


Tina let herself into Alices apartment an hour later, turned off her cell phone and opened the bottle of wine she had just bought. She poured herself a glass, shook 2 xanax out of a pill bottle in Alices medicine chest, and gulped down her wine. Tina sat down on the couch staring blankly out the window. Three glasses of wine and an hour later, Tina was passed out on the couch, the smooth sounds of Diana Krall whispering with the breeze.

Bette couldnt bring herself to move. She lay in bed, staring at Tinas ring in her hand. Finally, she slipped the ring on her own ring finger and drifted off to sleep.

END Chapter 2