I slowly turned the knob until the door burst open. And there you were standing, so unbelievable but true. I looked into your beautiful eyes, which were filled with tears. I couldn’t quite believe it and felt how tears came to my eyes too. We stood there without saying a word and a tear ran over your face. I would like to touch you so much now, hold you in my arms, squeeze you tight, but I didn’t dare. Then the tears ran over my cheeks too. You slowly raised your hand to my face and wiped them tenderly away. ‘Come here’ you whispered hardly audible. I make a step towards you, my knees week and I had the impression that the ground underneath me was shaking. Sure it would snap straight away, but you took me into your arms. I felt how you embraced me with your arms and pushed me on you with your hands. Oh my god, how long have I been waiting for this moment. I close my eyes and enjoy this incredible closeness. ‘I’m sorry’ I say quietly. And with ‘Shsh’ you made it clear to me that words were unnecessary. ‘Oh my god, stop the world! Let every clock stand still! Let this moment never end! Give me the power to hold her too! Let me become one with the sensation of conversance, nearness and bliss!’

‘Hi Bette’ it sounded from the distance. But I was not able to answer anything. In the corner of my eyes I just saw Billy, my neighbor, briefly waving. I simply closed my eyes. ‘Bette? Maybe it’s better when we went inside?’ ‘No.’ ‘Why not?’

‘Cause I don’t want this moment to end.’ ‘It already has’ ‘I know, I know’ I whispered. ‘But I don’t want to let you go ever again.’ ‘You won’t and me neither.’ I released her a bit and looked into her eyes. Between all these tears there was hidden a smile and I could see it and responded with a loving, soft and a little afraid expression on my face. ‘Come on then. Sure you’ll have some coffee for me?’ ‘Of course. As much as you like.’ What a stupid phrase. We went into the house. ‘Have a look around Tina. I’ll get some coffee.’ I stumbled into the kitchen. My hands were shaking so bad that the cup I was about to take from the cupboard fell down with a loud and tubby sound. ‘Everything alright?’ it sounded from the living room. ‘Nothing happened, I was just a little clumsy.’ I picked up the cup, that had luckily survived the drop and filled it with coffee, well, exactly said with the amount of two cups; one part drowned the kitchen table the other filled the cup. ‘Shit.’ I searched for the rag and when I had found it I mopped the little flooding across the table. ‘Wet it, Bette, wet it before. O boy, what am I doing here?’ Suddenly I felt Tina’s arms surrounding my belly from behind. ‘Maybe I should really help you?’ ‘Sorry, but I’m tremendously nervous.’ ‘I know, me too, but I had a bit more time to attune to it. Give it to me.’ Carefully Tina took the rag out of my hand, wet it under the faucet and in an instant she had cleared the little lake on the table. Quite natural she reached out for the kitchen roll on the left, tore off a sheet with a skillful move of her hands, dried the cup with it, opened the left door of the cupboard and threw the wet sheet away. I was pretty dazed, because Tina moved around here like she had been here all the time. ‘What about you? Don’t you want some coffee?’ ‘Well, no, I had… on the terrace… my…’ Tina just smiled. ‘I see, I’ll get it.’ Purposeful she went to the terrace door and got my cup, that was still standing on the little table at the lounger. ‘It’s really beautiful out there. Shall we sit outside?’ she asked, while walking back in. ‘If you want to, sure.’ I reached out for the coffee pot and as my hands were still shaking the lid rattled. ‘Let me do this.’ When she took the pot out of my hand she softly stroke me and gave me a lovingly fleeting and shy glance. ‘Go, I’ll follow you.’ I walked like in trance to the terrace and stopped in front of the pool, looking for help and pointed queryingly at the table. ‘No Bette, what about us sitting on the lounger here?’ ‘Sure?’ ‘Damn sure.’ Tina put both cups on the side table und sat down. With a short knocking move of her hand she asked next to her. Timidly I sat down. ‘Look at me.’ I looked on the ground. ‘I can’t.’ ‘I’m sure you can.’ I slightly turned my head, but still didn’t look her in the eyes. ‘Do I have to beg now that I may look into your beautiful eyes?’ I looked at Tina. In her eyes there was so much kindness, peacefulness and so much warmth. I remembered the peace I felt that morning and it was like it was still hovering through the air, as if it embraced us both to make it easier for us, easier for me. ‘I’m afraid.’ ‘What of?’ ‘I… I must… I have to tell you so much.’ I stammered and then I remembered the letter. ‘I’ve written a letter to you.’ ‘Really? When? I didn’t get any.’ ‘Last night. I’ll get it.’ I leaped up and before Tina could say anything I was back in the house. I handed the letter to her. ‘Do you want to read it?’ ‘Yes, gladly, but not right now. Is that alright with you?’ ‘Yeah, sure, it was a dumb idea.’ ‘No, it wasn’t. It’s just that I’d like to just look at you silently for a couple of minutes. I’ve missed you so much and I want to enjoy that finally you’re so close to me.’ Tina stroke my cheek and smiled. ‘You are so beautiful, Tina.’ ‘Shshsh.’ It was hard for me to be silent but I understood perfectly. Tina was able to give the situation tranquility and contemplativeness. And I decided to just let it happen now. I condemned all these thoughts, plans and words and let my guide by her.