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    The escape and The escape…in the mirror (Part 5 & 6)

    I wanted to get away from you, away from this house, away from the memories. I wanted to flee from my merciless imagination, but it came with me and not only that, it spread in all directions: How long? Where? How often? Why her? Who else? What does she have, what …? Oh my god, Tina what are you doing here?

    Always when I saw you, it was your hand which I had in front of my eyes … always when I saw you, I saw this one scenario bound with that infinite pain which tears up your heart like a piece of paper.

    And then … one day I did not see it any more, the picture was exchanged and the hand grown pale. Suddenly I did not see the pain any more, the hurt and the betrayal. You can imagine how surprised I was when there were your eyes looking at me; your infinitely affectionate look which had taken my fears from me so often did it again now. Should I have told to you? Would you still have stolen out of our house and our life at night, secretly, quiet and noiseless, if you had known that I had already begun again to look at you, you the miraculous woman at my side and on whose side I stood, to see again the big love in you? Yes, I know that everything sounds very easy, reduced to a feeling. It is not exactly the result though that you receive if you count all the big and small things of everyday life together, disputes and problems, tenderness and attention, aims and dreams, the cooperation and sometimes also conflicts, the kiss in the morning and the heedlessly left towel in the bathroom, the now and then lost foresight, the shrinking completely into yourself or then again extroverted, informing the other of every little thing; isn’t the love we feel for each other the sum resulting from each of this?

    Pling! "27-th floor, viewing platform!"

    Oh Bette, where are you, I just miss you so much. If I just could look into your eyes once, just tell you once that my love is big enough to be able to forgive, just once …

    But when has it started to end? 

    Page 5 of 512345

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