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The girl next door….chapter 33
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Tina lifted her head and looked at Bette. Her hair was wet from tears and stuck to her cheek. Her nose was a wee bit runny and she gave Bette a weak smile as she sniffed.
Tina: (softly).god what a mess I must look.
Tina pushed herself away from Bette and stood up. She walked over and switched the kettle on, got some cups out, tea bags, and milk. She pottered around the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. Bette just sat on the floor and watched her. Tina seemed to be blocking things outgetting on with thingsBette stood up, sat at the kitchen table and waited for Tina to sit with her. It took a few moments but Tina finally sat down with 2 cups of tea, but she sat at the opposite end of the table. As soon as she sat down Bette stood up and moved to the chair beside her. Tina squirmed and fidgeted until Bette finally spoke.
Bette:.Tina babyI am not going to lie to youI have no idea what you have gone through and for how longI know parts of your storyor life.to help you baby please talk to me.dont push me away
Tina: ( looking at her tea cup)..ok Bette.I dont think that everything is going to come flooding out.maybe it will.
Bette: honey.lets go speak to someone.either both of us or just you .or a mixture.
Tina could sense that Bette was also upset. She could see pain in her eyes and that made Tina hate her father even more. It was ok that he had done this to her..but not to Bette. She didnt deserve it
Tina: Bette im not sure I can..I mean where do I start..it is more than just about
Tina began to allow more tears to fall silently down her cheeks. She stood up to leave but Bette gently guided her onto her knee. Bette wiped her tears with her lips. Gentle soft kisses acted as a safety net that caught tears of pain and insecurity.
Bette: how about you start here
Bette placed her hand on Tina’s heart. The gesture was too much. The 2 women both began to cry. They supported each other and Tina held Bettes hand tight to her heart and pushed herself onto it.
Tina: (speaking between gentle sobs).Oh Bette please make it all go away.please.tell him not to do it
Bette: oh baby..when did it happen.where..why???
So many question and to be truthful no answers.
Tina: hold me BetteI hate him..it happened at home..in my bedbut he said it was his bed..he bought it.he took it..Bette..I was 21.why didnt I stop himit was so sore Bette every second of it hurtwhy didnt it hurt with you..why did it also hurt with Eric.?????
Bette was about to try and give Tina some response but Tina kept going with her searching questions
Tina: why did he want me..why did he need me..why did he take me.I kept saying no.but he held me down Bette.I tried to place my feet on his chest..so he scrunched up my legs and pinned me downhe was rough.angry..Bette WHY he was my first time BetteI am his virgin..he kept telling me thatthat he got to me first..before Eric
Bette became numb..she could not believe what she was hearing..she had so many questions but she knew that they should waitTina had to start giving this up on her own.then Bette could support her through the hard to reach stuff.all Bette could think about was how scared Tina was and why she now understood why she was a perfectionist when it came to running away
TBC
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This is so emotionally raw. Thank you for taking on this difficult subject and sharing it with us.
Raw and intense. I hope this writing has become cathartic for you and help you process the things you need to before you’re able to finally let go so your own healing can begin. None of it is going to be easy and it is not. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I hope everything I’m thinking is floating around in everyones head. This is so emotionally. This is so sick. for someone to do this to another. person. Thanks so much for sharing and writing this.
This is a very emotional chapter. thanks you somuch for taking the time to share and write.
Please continue and take your time. Peace to you Scotland.
Unfotunately too many of us can relate to this story. You have my admiration and respect for having the courage to write it. I told you before that I thought your story was about the hope that one day you can find Love no matter what you have been through in your life…I still believe that. Thank you for sharing this story with all of us
thank you for this fantastic story…i can certainly relate unfortunately… i look for this story all the time and love the progression and the heartfelt sincerity in your writing…thanks so much for sharing with us.
C did this happen to u too? sorry 4 asking. Fuck i hate my dad but feel guilty for hating him so he always wins.
Don’t feel guilty about hating your Dad…he deserves your hate and so much more,,,,but his punishment will come in the end. You only let him win when you let what he did to you ruin the rest of your life. I e-mailed you my answer to your question.
Scottie you are not alone, nor are the countless numbers of women who have suffered this type of abuse. There’s a book titled “Courage to Heal”, which is a wonderful resource of hope and healing. Also Encourage you to get a good therapist. You are talented, strong, warm and brave. You have already won, because you are still here…fighting and surviving…one day at a day.
I know that I’m younger than a lot of people on the site, Scots, but I can relate a lot to your story and it actually gives me hope ya know, that one day things might be good. So thanks for taking the time and courage to write about such a hard and horrible topic, i love your story and I’ll keep reading.
Shortbread…don’t let him win, don’t ever feel like you’re letting him win…no matter what you are the strong one…those of us who have gone through this are the strong ones…because we are survivors…we never did anything wrong…we love you…keep writing, it is definitely therapeutic…big hugs.
Downlow is right on all her points and as you can see from this board you are not alone.
I’m so sorry Scotland for my comment above on the rest of your life….he never wins….you’ve done nothing wrong….I let the anger about this topic come out..I’m still dealing with my own demons….sorry again
it warms my heart to see the support you are receiving from all of these wonderful people…there is talk of healing, admiration and respect for you, as well as acknowledgement for the courage it takes to write your truth…and Down Low put it nicely…you are talented, strong, warm, and brave… I know you are definitely a survivor…I’m here…holding your hand and sharing the pain with you…