By: Dreiser



The universe was plotting against her. That was what Dana had decided as she walked into her condo with Alice after just trying in her car to tell Alice about the Dating Game promotion for the ninth time. Now Dana was an honest person despite hiding her sexuality which some might consider rather deceptive. Dana was honest because she was the first person to cop to the fact that yeah, it was deceptive in the plain truth of the word.

Just like she would cop to being a little relieved each time the universe conspired against her and she lost yet another chance to tell Alice about the game show. Mostly because she knew how hurt the blonde would ultimately be by it.

Alice being Alice would deny the hurt. Though Dana might see it actually appear on the journalists face for a brief glimmer of time but quick as a flash it would be gone and Alice would hide its very existence. She would insist everything was fine and it was no big deal. Its Danas work, right? And she wants to support Dana in her career always because thats part of loving Dana. The tennis player saw this scenario play clearly on the TV in her mind.

The scene was on repeat in Danas head. Over and over that look of pure honest hurt Alice would wear before masking her real feelings for Danas sake. Imagining the look was so very awful the athlete couldnt quite grasp what it would be like when she saw it in person. Thats why as much as she railed against the universe for stopping her from telling Alice she was in a way secretly glad. Because Dana just did not want to see the blonde wearing that expression and know she was one who caused it.

Meanwhile, Alice covertly watched Dana as she had ever since the athlete became introspective, well, more introspective than usual when their conversation in the car got interrupted by a phone call from Ed. It didnt help matters that the call had gone on up until only a few seconds ago and it was entirely vague in nature, leaving Dana with very little idea of what they were discussing. Alice couldnt really help that though. Along with the band and Rich, she and Ed had come up with, in her opinion, possibly the most fun form of audience participation at a concert in years. She wasnt someone who entertained grandiose notions but Alice truly believed what they had planned was something special. Which was why she was working nonstop with Ed, the band, and Rich to make sure they pulled it off perfectly on Saturday night.

Now she wondered if in the process she had been neglecting Dana. Something that didnt settle well with Alice at all. But how to fix it? Alice nibbled on her bottom lip and started to toss her keys carelessly onto the coffee table as shed done countless times before. Much to Danas anal retentive irritation. Her eyes caught sight of the fancy key rack hanging on the wall by the door and a huge grin lit on Alices features. She spun around to purposefully face Dana who met her stare blankly.

What? asked Dana both baffled and strangely frightened by the gleam shining out of the journalists dark brown eyes.

I have a present for you, purred Alice, advancing on Dana who had to fight an instinctive urge to take a step backwards.

What kind of present? Dana frowned, thinking of the conversation they had in bed right before they left on the Olivia cruise.

A very special one, said Alice in a drawl. Standing in front of Dana and reaching towards her in a slow seductive motion.

The leisurely movement combined with the gleam in Alices eyes and the smile on her face made Dana tremble in anticipation. Alice was closer yet, her lips seeming just a breath from Danas for a kiss. Her eyelids started to flutter shut just as the athlete felt Alice reach over her shoulder only to flutter right back open when she heard the plunking evidence of the writer hanging her keys onto a peg of the provided rack.

Looking at Alice with an utterly stunned expression, Dana took in the face of total glee the blonde wore. There! she proclaimed proudly. I finally used my special peg on your key rack. Arent you proud of me?

Al? said Dana faintly, still confused over not having received a kiss or at least a grope.

Your key rack! said Alice in a way that emphasized the importance she currently found in the object. You hate it when I throw my keys around, right? Just leave them lying everywhere? Well, look, Alice waggled her eyebrows humorously. She then did a Vanna White hand gesture to where her keys hung underneath her name painted in fancy yellow script. Im using the key rack. The writer formed an exaggerated pout and stepped up to Dana, toying with the hairs at the nape of her neck as her hands wound around the tennis players neck. Youre not happy?

No, no, I mean, yes, Dana groaned, closing her eyes and sighing at the sensation of Alice playing with her hair. When she opened her eyes she saw the blonde smiling sweetly at her and moving forward for a kiss. Laughing into the brief and mischievous nature of the kisses pressing onto her lips, Dana murmured, Im always happy with you.

But are you happy that I hung my keys up on their special place on the rack? pursued Alice, her eyes twinkling.

Im SO happy, said Dana somberly, nodding her head and grinning as she walked forward taking Alice along with her. I cant say how happy I am about you finally using the key rack. I mean, I took the trouble of painting your name there and everything! she exclaimed, looking offended. And still you rejected my key rack. I felt like crying at times.

Was it traumatizing for you? asked Alice, wearing a sympathetic expression.

I was very close to seeking therapy, Dana confessed as she dropped her hands to Alices waist and pulled the blonde to her while she plunked down on the couch.

Laughing and settling herself on Danas lap so she was perched off to one side, her back leaning into the large arm rest, Alice curled wavy brown hair around her index finger. Poor baby, she crooned, moving to nuzzle the athletes neck. You practically had a nervous breakdown because of me.

Practically, repeated Dana teasingly who soon moaned low in her throat as Alice began sucking on her neck and her hand slipped up to cup one of the tennis players *****. Al, she managed to say through a gasp. I need to talk to you.

About what? asked Alice, smiling impishly into Danas skin before licking a pathway to her ear. She almost started to repeat the motion at the automatic groan that the brunette released but gentle yet firm arms held her shoulders and pushed her backwards. She blinked in confusion at the look on Danas face. It seemed to her almost as if the tennis player was trying to work up courage to tell Alice something but what that was she didnt have the slightest clue. What worried her more though, was the hint of fear that the other woman had about her. The last thing Alice ever wanted was for Dana to be afraid to tell her anything *****, to just be afraid period. That reminded her far too much of the years when the brunette was in the closet and had been in a state of constant fear that her sexual orientation would be exposed. Dana, she said in a gentle murmur, her voice laced with deep concern as she tenderly cupped the athletes cheek. Whats the matter?

Swallowing nervously and closing her eyes to help gather her courage, Dana opened her mouth and an irritating series of high pitched ding dings sounded in the air. Together they both peered towards the front door and pondered over just who was standing behind it.

And, of course, that was when they heard the distinctive voice of a certain teenager shout, I can see your shadows through Danes cheap curtains! I know you guys are in there now stop having ***** or almost having ***** and let me in! I demand bonding time with my big sis!

Howie? Alice and Dana said his name together in similar states of surprise.

Recovering far quicker than her girlfriend, Alice crawled off of Danas lap and bounded to the front door. Leaving the tennis player to regain her wits and realize that once again the universe had plotted against her and won.

Damn the universe. It really did have to be destroyed.

—

It’s totally weird, Alice mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste, leaning in the doorway to the bathroom and peering at Dana who was tugging on a pair of jogging shorts. Theres no way he didnt know its Pride, right? I know your family is all with the Republican vibe but theyre pretty okay with you being ***** and you told them about the Subaru and Fila stuff. So how does he not know its Pride and were going to be all up with the ***** thing this weekend? Turning around to head back into the bathroom and spit out the toothpaste, she called out, Its weird, Dane. Admit it!

I guess, said Dana, shrugging into her Fila tank top and contemplating how to go about talking to Alice about the game show this time. Or maybe she should give up already. The universe was clearly out to foil her confessing plans when it involved the Dating Game fiasco. I think Mom was driving him crazy and he wanted away from her. Teenagers dont really think about causing other people problems, Al. She grinned wryly at Alice who lifted an eyebrow as she looked at her from the bathroom doorway. Thats why theyre teenagers.

Maybe, mused Alice, shoving off the doorway and walking over to the bed to help Dana pull back the covers. She peered up at the brunette while they were doing so and said in what she hoped were casual tones, What did you want to tell me before the teen titan arrived?

The Fila promotion, Dana decided that would be the best way to start. To simply talk about the promotion itself. You know how I told you theyre not working with Subaru anymore? How its going to be two separate events?

Sure, said Alice happily, smiling at Dana and climbing under the covers to sit on the bed, looking expectantly at the tennis player to continue.

Bill, the Fila marketing guy, added Dana quickly, sitting across from Alice in a cross legged position. Despite her nerves she was unable to help smiling when the blonde immediately rested her head in Danas lap. Playing with Alices hair and looking down into comforting brown eyes, she continued, He wanted to go a different route than Subaru. Something more fun I think he called it hip and get me involved with the fans.

Yeah? encouraged Alice, definitely curious now.

Yeah, said Dana, biting down on her bottom lip. She went back to playing with blonde locks before starting to absently braid them. Fila is going to be have this game show type thing. Theyre getting Megan Guerrero to be the host and its going to happen Saturday night. It starts at seven oclock actually.

Megan Guerrero? Alice frowned, trying to place the name. Shes an out ***** comedienne, isnt she? Played a few times at The Comedy Store?

I think so, said Dana with an anxious nod. She had gotten the basic information out now she just had to take care of the rest. The portion that had her so very worried about Alices reaction.

Wait, said Alice, her frown growing deeper and she squirmed around to peer up at Dana. Its going to be on Saturday night? At seven?

Yeah, said Dana who returned the frown and paused in the middle of her braiding. Its split into two parts. The first part of the game show starts at seven oclock and then the second part starts at eight after a short fifteen minute break.

***** and *****, hissed Alice in irritated tones, squirming back into her comfortable position in Danas lap and nibbling on her bottom lip.

Al? What is it? asked Dana worriedly.

Peering back up at Dana and smiling in reassurance, Alice lifted a hand up and carefully cupped the tennis players face. Carefully just because it was kind of hard to tell where her hand was going since she was looking backwards and all. Ive got that KCRW concert at The Planet with Eds band, she murmured, stroking Danas cheek. It starts at seven thirty and even though its a live performance and none of the on air personalities will be talking I really need to be there anyway. She opened her mouth to say something but snapped it shut and grimaced. Its important, I guess.

If its important then why are you upset? Dana puzzled, finished braiding one small section of hair and moving onto another. She had forgotten how relaxing it was to braid someones hair. That wasnt much of a surprise though. The last time she had done this was with Stephanie at tennis camp. This is a KCRW event, isnt it? You like your work there.

Yeah, Alice heaved a sigh and peered up at Dana, catching sight of a braid and wondering how the ***** that had gotten in her hair. I wanted to see your game show, thats all.

Looking into Alices eyes and seeing the genuine sadness lurking there, Dana swallowed deeply then leaned down and met her lips for a sweet kiss. I love you, she spoke into the kiss as she made a silent decision that the universe had plotted against her one more time. She couldnt tell Alice. Not when she already looked that sad, she just couldnt make the blonde sadder. That wasnt in her ability. Hey, Dana smiled fondly and traced the bridge of Alices nose. Youre still going to ride on the float with me, right? For the ***** and ***** Center? Were going to be known and ***** together! she proclaimed.

We are, arent we? said Alice chuckling and pulling Dana down for another kiss. When they parted, she said drawled in wicked humor, You could even squeeze my ***** for good measure. You know, she waggled her eyebrows. Just so everyone knows for sure how ***** we are.

I could, said Dana, laughing in delight at this idea. She decided to act this out by spinning Alice around by her hips, slipping her hands underneath the blondes *****, and squeezing it hard as she pulled Alice towards her in a smooth motion. When Alice squealed and squirmed in her playful hold, Dana moved down to put their faces close as she said teasingly, Or dont you like it? Youre making an awful lot of noise.

Clad in a pair of leopard print silk boxers and a puka shell necklace, Howie grimaced and thumped the incredibly lumpy pillow his sister had given him. He was sure despite her protests she was pissed about him being there. That was too bad. He wanted a real chance to party and they did have things they ought to talk about as family he paused for an internal chuckle.

Anyway, as family they had stuff to talk over. Or whatever. The only thing he knew for sure was that he didnt want to have to deal with loud whatever the ***** it was coming from his older sisters bedroom during his stay. That would without doubt kill the natural high he was certain hed be riding from the events of this weekend.

Howie was busy considering this when yet another squeal emerged from upstairs. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed one of the tackier throw pillows and pressed it over his ears while muttering in disgusted tones, Lesbians.

—

Im just saying! Alice exclaimed, wildly waving her hands around and weaving through the throng of people. I want to know what was wrong with my outfit. Boy wonder, she hooked her thumb in a smirking Howies direction. Made us start the day off late because my outfit was, correct me if Im wrong, Alice drawled, looking to Howie who lifted his eyebrows and continued to entirely pleased with himself. The ugliest ***** thing in the world and a throwback from the most tasteless portion of 80s fashion.

You quoted me perfectly, madam, drawled Howie who flashed a toothy smile that was nearly as bright as his puka shell necklace.

Ill madam you, growled Alice, tangling her fingers in his naturally curly hair and shaking his head good naturedly as he whapped ineffectively at her. Was it really that bad? she said in a curious whisper into his ear.

You didnt look at your most gorgeous in that red tube top monstrosity, Howie said honestly, peering up at Alice from where his head halfway rested on her shoulder. And is it so wrong I want my sisters woman to look her most gorgeous? I tried to make a fair trade too, he remarked and looked over at Dana who stared at them with a suspicious gaze. He grinned and met Alices eyes in a conspiratorial motion. I made her change too, right? I mean, you cant say that thing that was droopily hanging off of her was looking good. She looks way better in the jeans and tank, doesnt she? All kicking ***** girl and look! Leather belt! Howie waved towards the large detailed brown leather belt around Danas waist. I even found a pair of boots for her. Dont try to say youre not digging it, he snorted. I saw you staring.

That outfit is totally hot and you rock for picking it out, kid, said Alice in a low and humorously hushed reply, ruffling Howies hair affectionately. She let him up from her grasp and said, What about me, huh? I dont get any of the compliments? Just the big sister gets that mojo?

Like you need any! Howie rolled his eyes. He stood in front of Alice and flicked at the black and white striped tie that went around the open collar of her low buttoned black dress shirt. You know you look good, he declared and went to walk ahead of them as they continued on their search for the ***** and ***** Center and Subaru combination float.

So Dana began in overly cavalier tones and a smile to match. What were you guys talking about? Too bad for her she didnt fool Alice one bit, the blonde knew she was curious.

Smiling slow and naughty, Alice slipped behind Dana, wrapping her arms around her waist as they kept up their path following after Howie in the crowd. Nothing important, she drawled and deposited a light kiss onto Danas head before resting her chin there. Murmuring into the soft crown of hair, Just how good you look in those clothes.

The fact that Alice was able to do this was thanks to Howies choice in clothing for her that consisted of the aforementioned black and white striped tie, black buttoned dress shirt, but also a pair of worn hip hugger capri jeans and steel heel black slingback pumps. The heels not only looked gorgeous, to quote Howie, they made her quite a bit taller than Dana. Thats something Dana really enjoyed. Though she disliked reflecting on her time with Lara, especially while with Alice, something that she had liked about dating the chef was their height difference. Lara being taller somehow made Dana feel more feminine which she just loved because, frankly, that didnt happen all that often due to her occupation. Thats why Dana adored Alice in heels. Even though the shoes were undeniably feminine in nature they made Alice much taller than Dana and allowed the blonde to hold her from behind like she was currently doing. Hold her and snuggle her chin on the top of the athletes head. Both of which were gestures of affection that when it came right down to it, made Dana feel like a huge warm gooey mess inside.

It sounded a lot grosser than it felt and that was why Dana, as an honest person, acknowledged just how truly ***** and girly having those feelings made her. But she simply didnt care.

I found it! shouted Howie, bouncing up on his heels and gesturing grandly to the large float standing next to him that had a Subaru Outback on top of it.

What do you suppose tipped him off? The big Subaru or the huge ***** and ***** Center sign? remarked Alice dryly, depositing another kiss as they made their way over.

Dana chuckled in response as they walked over to the person in charge of the float, a young woman who was primly holding a clipboard. The young woman, in the tennis players opinion, was a strange looks combination of Tonya and Lara. That only helped in making her a tad disconcerted and she didnt really notice a conversation was going on among Alice, Howie, and clipboard woman until Alice and Howie looked irritated. She tuned in to hear clipboard woman say in prim tones that matched how she held her clipboard, Only people whose names are on this list get to go on the float.

Blinking in surprise, Dana said, Thats not what Tonya told me.

Tonya? questioned the clipboard woman. She paused and realized who she was speaking to and beaming widely, she reached out to shake Danas hand. Dana! So glad to have you here! I dont know any Tonya though, she frowned.

Tonya Dana frowned and her brow furrowed as she looked over at Alice. Do you know what Tonyas last name is?

Uhm Alice formed a frown herself and considered this.

I think it started with a Q, said Dana thoughtfully. She looked to Howie now and said, What about you, How? Do you remember? I mean it was on the wedding invitations, right?

I think it was, mused Howie, his brow furrowing exactly like Danas.

Queenie? Quagmire? Quasimodo? snickered Alice, trying to figure out what Q name Tonya possessed and having a bit of fun while doing so.

Thats mean, Al, chided Dana, bumping back into her girlfriend who chuckled and pressed a kiss onto her head. Be nice to Tonya. Shes going to help you get on this float with me.

If we can remember her name, said Alice in droll tones. She sighed and peered over the top of Danas wavy brown hair to lock eyes with the clipboard woman. Tonya is her Manager, okay? She worked out this entire promotion with Subaru and you guys and she told us a fairly long time ago it wouldnt be a big deal if we rode on the float with Dana for moral support or whatever you want to call it.

Moral support is good, said Dana, nodding eagerly, not at all looking forward to the idea of being on that float alone. Ever since the Olivia cruise certain public appearances made her gun shy. She wasnt sure how she was going to deal with the game show tomorrow.

The clipboard woman started to speak but Alice cut her off smoothly and said, And I know youre only supposed to let people whose names are on that list on the float but you know what? Youre in charge of the list and you have a handy dandy pen sitting right there at the top of your clipboard. What would be the big deal if as the person in charge you wrote down the names of Howie Fairbanks and Alice Pieszecki?

Alice Pieszecki? the clipboard woman repeated, wearing a furrowed brow that perfectly matched Dana and Howies.

Yeah, said Alice slowly, wondering if maybe the clipboard woman was slow. Or if she was about to whap her on the top of the head with the clipboard which would surely hurt more than a menu. Thats me.

Alice Pieszecki, Alice? the clipboard woman said eagerly, her eyes running up and down Danas body just because it was in front of Alices. Something that made the tennis player fight the urge to punch the clipboard Lara/Tonya combo in front of her.

Do I owe you money? asked Alice both amused and nervous. She wasnt sure why but the strange light in the womans eyes gave her a little bit of the willies.

No, the clipboard woman laughed. Youve got that show on KCRW, dont you? The Chart?

Yeah, said Alice even more slowly this time, eyeing the woman curiously and wondering where the ***** was this going. At least she didnt owe anyone money. She didnt want to give her cash away. It was needed to buy the precious, precious, alcohol later. Im doing some stuff later today for them, in fact. Plus a panel with my honey here, she smiled at Dana whom she realized shed been neglecting. Pausing to press a soft kiss on the side of her head and smiling again on hearing the quiet sigh the athlete released. Its a panel on She trailed off.

Lesbians In Media, offered Dana, smiling big.

Which I guess I am, Alice rolled her eyes. Sorta. She pulled Dana back into her and rocked them side to side while grinning at the clipboard woman. Even though no one knows who I am and I work at a public radio station. Lifting an eyebrow, she couldnt stop herself from questioning, You listen to my show, huh?

I called in! the clipboard woman laughed.

No way, said Alice, her eyes going wide. Her hands loosened around Danas waist and it seemed as if she might pull away entirely but the tennis player grabbed her arms and held them fast around her. She clearly didnt want the blonde going anywhere. Carly? When the clipboard woman blushed and nodded her head rather shyly, Alice laughed in delight then quickly formed a somber expression as she said, Show me your *****.

Carly joined Alice in her laughter, no longer seeming to notice Dana or the glowering expression she wore. Howie did notice, however, and was greatly entertained by it all. How about if I let you on the float instead? asked Carly, smiling.

See ***** or ride on a float, Alice said, appearing as if she was carefully considering her options. She dropped down to rest her chin on the top of Danas head and gave Carly a small smile. Would you be offended if I went with the float?

I would be relieved, confessed Carly, still slightly red. Im not sure I have the goods to be flashing them around. Although, she moved forward imperceptibly, seeming to try and form a connection of some sorts. I would like to know how youd judge my *****, Carly said in a charmingly shy attempt at flirting. Im not sure I can make it to your booth later.

Arching an eyebrow, Alice looked at Carly for a moment then clucked her tongue and drawled, Grade A, two thumbs up, standing ovation, and all that jazz. When Carly ducked her head on hearing these words, Alice whispered in Danas ear, But nowhere as sublimely fantastic as yours, baby. You have the best pair of ***** Ive ever had the pleasure of seeing. By the time Carly looked back Dana was wearing a face of total contentment. Smiling and wearing an expectant expression, Alice said, How about that float? Can we get me and Howie on it?

Your names are already written down, replied Carly, beaming widely. They watched her scurry off to get things ready and when she left both Dana and Howie shared a moment of sibling unity as they contemplated Alices persuasive skills.

And how they were something to perhaps fear.

—

Hello all! Alices voice boomed and released an electronic screech which made her squint then turn to look at the speakers behind her on the small stage she sat on. She and Rich were placed at a table/radio booth travel set up on a stage about two feet up off of the ground. This is Alice Pieszecki of The Chart and her suddenly not intrepid engineer Rich who set up speakers that are– Another high pitched screech interrupted Alice who gave little hops away from the speakers, covering her ears until she hopped right off the stage and into the audience. “Hey!” she said waving her hand in a huge motion, sticking the microphone into her pocket after turning it off. “We’re having technical difficulties so I’m just going to talk to you one on one, okay? Like I’m still one of the little people instead of towering above you on my mighty stage that’s really rickety and could collapse at any moment.” She pointed at a nearby woman who had dyed purple hair. “Don’t sue! We have very little money. I know this from my salary.”

The audience burst into laughter, seeming to relax despite the fact that one of their hosts was without technical aid and the other was busy fixing the technical aid problem. Alice in the meantime was just grateful this little event wasn’t meant to be broadcast live on the air like Ed’s concert at The Planet was going to be. God help her if something like this happened then.

“No worries, we were planning on giving you gifts just for showing up. Now we’ll simply fund some of your pursuits into higher education,” Alice announced with a grin. “Is anyone here a proud student at Santa Monica College? Who needs their bills paid?”

“I do!” shouted a man who sported a pair of rainbow shorts, no shirt, and entirely impressive six pack abs. “I’m a poor beggar child!”

“I think the lack of food helps your muscley goodness though,” remarked Alice, waggling her eyebrows and waving at his bare chest. “Look at you. I bet someone could break a brick over that thing. It almost scares me something can look that hard.” The audience once again burst into laughter and Alice cut off the leers already starting and called out sardonically, “I know! Hard and ***** Pride! Har har. Please, you people,” she said in tones of utmost disdain. “You can’t think of any better dirty jokes? You go for the easy humor. It makes me sad inside.”

“I think I have the speakers fixed,” offered Rich, who was on his hands and knees, crawling to the edge of the stage where Alice stood. The moment he said this the speakers screeched the loudest volume yet and Rich cursed then crawled back over to where he was working.

“And intrepid engineer is a description that floats further and further away,” commented Alice, grinning again only to have it disappear the moment a worn baseball hat that had been on Rich’s head whapped her in the back of the skull. Scowling and rubbing her head, she turned to face Rich. Well, she turned to face Rich’s butt as he was still on his hand and knees, butt facing the audience as he worked on the speakers. “That was uncalled for! You respond to verbal insults with other verbal insults. Not flying pieces of worn icky clothing.” Rich waved his hand at her in a dismissive gesture and Alice scowled deeply. “At least stop waving your butt around. You’re taunting the ***** men in our audience.”

There was an immediate pause and Rich was suddenly imitating a statue but then his head turned to look back at Alice. Lifting his eyebrows suggestively and smirking, he waved his butt enticingly then went back to trying to fix the speakers.

“Tease,” declared Alice, snorting and looking back to the audience. Hooking a thumb at Rich, she said, “What do you think? Is Rich a tease? I’m thinking he’s a huge tease.”

“At least he’s a cute tease!” the rainbow shorts man called out.

Wearing a thoughtful expression, Alice sighed then said, “He is cute isn’t he, folks?” Cheers from the male members of the audience came and the blonde grinned widely. “Maybe I should hold a male breast contest and whoever wins can touch Rich the tease’s butt? I think that would be nice vengeance for his lack of intrepid engineering skills causing all this trouble. What do all of you think?” Loud hoots from the male members of the audience as Rich waved his butt at them yet again. “Listen to that. I think it must be done!”

“What about us?” called out a female voice.

“Yeah! Lesbians need representation,” another woman commanded in comedic yet very fierce tones. “We want a prize!”

“What kind of prize?” asked Alice innocently.

“The speakers work!” Rich announced, leaping to his feet and turning his butt away from the audience viewpoint to male feelings of disappointment.

“Drink?”

Jerking out of her daze at Shane’s words, Dana looked to her friend and frowned at the Tinky Winky crazy straw lidded cup that was offered to her. “Shane, what the ***** is this? I wanted a beer,” she said in derisive exasperation.

“Can’t drink it in public, zoning or something,” Shane rumbled and took a swig from her Tinkerbell sippy cup. “Ah,” she smacked her lips. “That’s good.” She nudged Dana on the shoulder upon seeing the tennis player was still frowning at the Tinky Winky cup instead of drinking. “Come on, Dane. You gotta try this stuff for the name alone.”

“What’s the name?” asked Dana who already regretted saying these words.

“Arrogant ***** Ale,” said Shane, her smirk well hidden by the Tinkerbell sippy cup.

Taking a drink and deciding that Shane was right, though she’d never tell her that, Dana noticed something was missing. Well, not something as much as someone. The someone being her little brother who had left with Shane on her task to find alcohol. Which meant now that Shane had returned Howie should be with her. And yet there was no Howie.

“Where’s Howie?” demanded Dana anxiously.

Squinting at this question, Shane rubbed her haphazard head of hair and looked around the teaming mass of people. Most of whom had very little clothing on and appeared to be drinking disguised alcoholic beverages like themselves. “He wanted to look around,” she finally said with a shrug. She didn’t like the idea of getting involved in what she saw as family politics so she had just let the kid go. He seemed like he knew what he was doing. Plus he showed her his cell phone that was fully charged and had Dana’s cell on number four speed dial. Not to mention he also had the spare set of keys to the condo that were usually hanging from her beloved rack.

“You left my brother alone during ***** Pride?” shrieked Dana, already bouncing up on her feet as if to gain a better sight into the crowd in order to find Howie. “My straight little brother?!”

“Dude,” said Shane in quiet amazement, shaking her head. “I can’t believe he quoted you perfect.” When Dana looked at her with a combined expression of confusion and overwhelming anger, Shane lifted up her hands in a placating gesture. “Don’t shoot the messenger, all right? I’m just gonna repeat to you what Howie told me to say.” Shane started to clear her throat but stopped and took a drink from her Tinkerbell sippy cup instead. When she was finished, she began, “Don’t be such a spazzy nerd, big sis. And don’t try calling my cell, I’m putting it on silent to ignore lecturing phone calls from you. Do yourself a favor and have some fun.” There was a pause and Shane smirked at the severe disapproving look Dana wore before saying Howie’s final words. “That face makes you look like Mom. Except older. And more pissy.”

“Howie,” growled Dana dangerously and for a moment Shane feared the tennis player wouldn’t recognize she in fact, was not Howie, and was merely representing his interests.

“Hey, Al’s show turning out to be pretty popular, huh?” Shane observed, moving around Dana to get a better look at the stage. There was a group of shirtless men, all of whom looked to be body builders or something close, posing in front of Alice and Rich. The crowd surrounding their tiny stage was getting bigger by the minute and it looked as if the audience was all having a good time. But Shane had to wonder exactly why those men were doing muscle poses. “Wanna head over and find out what they’re up to?”

Snapping out of her Howie induced fit of sudden rage, Dana looked to the stage and Alice who was prowling the stage and inspecting the men like she was an army General. A smile softened her features immediately and she replied, “Yeah. Lets do that.”

Relief sweeping over her body, Shane made a mental note. Anytime that Dana was angry to the point of being scary merely mention or reference Alice and the athlete will go right back to normal. Shane was positive this would be useful knowledge to have in the future.

—

An hour and forty two minutes later Alice and Dana were inside of a huge tent sitting at the left end of a very long table with Alice at the very edge for their Lesbians In Media panel. Though to be honest neither of them were really sure how they had ended up there in the first place. They theorized on the walk over that Alice was there thanks to KCRW and Dana had fallen prey to a strange Managerial decision on Tonya’s part.

“I can’t believe Shane lost Howie,” hissed Dana under her breath, scooting her chair close to Alice and leaning back as she put on a false look of interest. The discussion was now focused on the difficulties finding success in the media if you were an out *****. She didn’t know much about that seeing as she had only gotten really successful once she had come out. That made her wonder why she was there. “What if he gets molested? My parents won’t ever forgive me!”

“Technically Shane didn’t lose him,” Alice murmured and lifted a hand to play with the hairs at the nape of Dana’s neck. Hoping the gesture might calm the athlete down. “He wanted to look around on his own and she let him.”

“Of course he wanted that!” Dana hissed in irritation. “He’s a teenager. She didn’t have to let him do what he wanted though. Especially during ***** Pride,” she groaned deeply and her blue eyes squeezed shut. “I can hear my mother lecturing me already. ‘Dana, we trusted you with the well being of your only brother. How could you let this happen?’ God,” Dana thumped back into Alice’s hands, her head crooked back to face the tent ceiling. “It’s going to be worse than the time I melted all his G.I. Joes with my Mom’s industrial hair dryer.”

Alice was silent for a moment and Dana wondered if she had said something to upset the blonde but was reassured by the soft and caring look in brown eyes. “Dana,” said Alice in a hushed murmur. “Don’t you maybe think there’s a reason he wanted to be on his own? Like the same reason he magically showed up on your doorstop during ***** Pride? The same reason that let him pick out our current fashion ensembles?”

More silence. Well, except for the other panelists talking about the reasons ***** ***** was never correctly portrayed in films and television. Then Dana opened her mouth and closed it then opened it and closed it again then she opened it another time and managed to say in forceful tones, “My brother isn’t *****.”

“But–” Alice tried to offer more of her logical argument that was meant, in her mind, to help Dana accept what she felt was the very clear reality that Howie was indeed a ***** boy.

“My brother isn’t *****,” Dana repeated in an annoyed hiss, turning away from Alice and doing her best to look enthralled as the panel discussed why lesbians in the media never quite looked like lesbians in real life. Part of Dana wondered what they considered real life. Her life didn’t feel real at times. Like right now when her girlfriend was busy trying to convince her that her straight little brother was *****. That didn’t feel real at all. It felt like a lame episode of eh god, she really did need to start watching TV. Even if the lesbians on it didn’t have ***** properly and apparently weren’t real enough. “He isn’t ***** so stop talking about him!”

Rolling her eyes and feeling slightly turned on by both Dana’s ire and the ability she had to look totally interested in whatever boring thing the panelists were discussing, Alice decided to give up for the time being and concentrate on putting Dana in a better mood. But how? The athlete was truly worked up and not in a fun ***** resulting way either.

Hmmm

Playing with the black and white striped tie around her neck, Alice grabbed each loose end in a hand and zipped it back and forth across her neck. The sound of the tie moving over the sleek fabric of her black button up shirt caught Dana’s attention and she was soon openly staring at Alice. While she kept up the zipping motion, Alice noticed that the athlete remained fixed on the tie. A slow and what some might consider wicked smile formed on her features as she tugged harder down on the right and caused more of the tie to go zipping in that direction.

Just as she predicted, blue eyes followed the movement exactly and chuckling softly, Alice pressed close to Dana and whispered in her ear, “What can’t I do again?”

“Talk about Howie,” Dana hissed and her ire rising again.

Fortunately or not, however you thought, Alice knew that this was coming. As a matter of fact, she was counting on it and that’s why her wicked smile made a return while she zipped the tie up into both hands and looking to Dana with an overdone apologetic expression and teary eyes, she said in a dramatic whisper, “You can’t silence me!”

And then she formed a unique portrait of personal protest as she held the black and white striped tie in her mouth while opening it wide and wearing an expression that, to the suddenly attentive audience, was utterly sensual in nature. The loud and microphone enhanced sound of the lead panelist clearing their throat snapped Alice and Dana out of their odd game that they realized now involved other people.

Releasing a nervous laugh, Alice dropped the tie and leaned forward to say into her microphone, “Hey. Just foolin’ around.” She made an almost vague noise of embarrassment and popped her lips. “And yeah” Alice paused to wave her hands about and ducked her head. “I’m totally sorry. That was really unprofessional. I can leave if you want.”

Unfortunately or not, however you thought about this as well, Alice didn’t get her secret wish by saying that. Instead, she got to hear around an hour or so of the lecture that Dana had feared coming her way from her mother. Except for Alice it was directed at her by a group of overly intellectual lesbians who declared that her wearing high heels was a sign of giving into the cosmetic enslavement of the female body type. Dana did her level best to defend her girlfriend against their myriad of accusations but she honestly found it difficult.

Mostly because she didn’t understand half of what was being said. But still, Dana did her best and for Alice that’s all that counted. That and the way the athlete looked so very deliciously hot while getting steeped in her valiant protection mode while wearing a tight tank top and jeans.

The cosmetic enslavement of the female body type be damned.

—

Howie was nowhere to be found and although they doubted he would be so dim as to go to a known hang out of his sister’s they decided to check The Planet anyway. Plus they were thirsty for drinks of the alcoholic sort. Riding high on their successful teamwork as a couple after staving off the attacks of the snotty ***** intellectuals at the ***** In Media panel they decided to split up for their missions inside the club.

Alice’s mission: To find booze.

Dana’s mission: To find Howie.

Granted, Alice’s mission and result of it was far more fun than Dana’s but both were worthy tasks. Too bad for Dana only one of them had any luck. When Alice finally found Dana in the crowd of patrons, she was frowning and standing on her tip toes in an attempt to see out over the crowd. But she knew it was futile, Howie wasn’t here. At the delightfully cool feeling of a beer bottle against her skin, Dana turned to Alice with a smile.

“Any luck?” asked Alice though she knew the answer.

“None,” replied Dana peevishly, taking a swig of beer. “I just don’t get where he would be! I mean, it’s ***** Pride.” Catching sight of the knowing expression on Alice’s face she cut the blonde off, pointing her beer bottle at her. “And don’t you say it. I already told you I don’t want to hear anymore of your theories involving Howie. I’m the only ***** in my family.”

Chuckling at this and really unable to help herself, Alice sidled up to the athlete and whispered in breathy spurts into her ear, “Dana there is another ***** Fairbanks.”

“Dork,” accused Dana, returning the smile as Alice pulled away and put their faces incredibly close.

“But who loves the dork?” Alice murmured to Dana before capturing her lips for a languid and detailed kiss, taking time to taste and explore.

“I love the dork,” said Dana in a fiercely passionate reply, diving in and tasting the lips once more. Biting and sucking and tugging then groaning into the blonde. “I love her.”

When they parted, Dana expected romantic sentiments to come spilling from Alice thanks to the dreamy look on her features. But what she got was the journalist saying, “I love this song.”

Looking upwards as if she could see the song being played, Dana frowned as she realized just who was singing. “Macy Gray?” said Dana, eyeing Alice suspiciously. “Do you have some kind of thing for her that I should worry over?”

“I don’t know,” said Alice in thoughtful consideration, smirking and moving closer to Dana. “Is wanting to see her do a duet with Missy Elliot in the nude something to worry over?” Alice said the last part casually only to squeal for perhaps the fifteenth time that day when Dana grabbed her extremely ticklish sides to pull her close for a kiss. When the kiss ended several moments later, Alice moaned into Dana and smiled lazily. “I take it back. I only want you in the nude.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Dana smugly.

“But!” Alice said in a decent impersonation of a pout.

“But?” Dana lifted an eyebrow expectantly.

“But I do love this song and can we dance?” wheedled Alice, taking their almost empty beer bottles and placing them on a nearby table. “Please?”

Rolling her eyes and chuckling, Dana said, “Like I could say no to that face.”

Giving yet another squeal of delight, Alice tugged Dana over to the too close, too crowded, and too fun dance floor just as the song got into high gear courtesy of Carmen’s spinning skills. Once they arrived on the dance floor, Dana reached for the greatly maligned tie that had been the focus of much snotty intellectual ***** debate about gender dominance and used it to slowly pull Alice towards her. The blonde smiled and danced with the slow pulling motion and moved to purr in Dana’s ear, “Are you trying to molest my tie of evil male powers?”

“Of course I am,” said Dana glibly, leaning down to capture the writer’s lower lip for a teasing suck and pull. Muttering into her in husky tones, “How else will I steal its power for the greater good of all lesbiankind?”

“I think you’re good for lesbiankind,” growled Alice in a laugh before feverishly meeting Dana’s lips for a kiss as well as a dance and grind to the music.

The kiss ended in smiles and joy for them both as Alice shouted along with the rest of the dancers to the song’s deliriously happy and overtly confident chorus. “I’m so ***** beautiful!” Her eyes locked with Dana’s that were burning dark with lust and Alice kissed her hard and deep and endless as the dancers sang with the song. “Especially when I take my clothes off!”

When they parted yet again, this time almost painfully, Dana said in low guttural need, “Home. Now.”

“Yes,” agreed Alice breathlessly, taking Dana’s hand and letting Dana lead her expertly through the crowd. Body and spirit already humming in crazed anticipation of what was to come.

She ***** loved ***** Pride.

—

The tie again found itself the focus of attention as Dana used it to tug Alice into her condo and upstairs to the bedroom. When they reached their destination, she tugged it from around Alice’s neck with the easy swish noise of fabric on fabric. Swinging the tie around her finger, Dana leaned in for a clinging kiss and husked, “I’m keeping this for myself.”

“You sure about that?” Alice chuckled and arched an eyebrow. “That tie is going to bring about the destruction of the feminist movement single handedly.”

“I think it will be fine in my bedroom. It can’t cause further harm if it’s safely hidden away here,” assured Dana for a throaty but humorous utterance. In a smooth but careful movement, she hung the tie onto the headboard of her bed. Giving it a very special place of its own. Then she moved back to Alice, resting her hands on the blonde’s hips and sliding up her body to cup full ***** as she leaned in and kissed the line of her jaw to murmur in her ear, “You’re so *****.” Dana’s tongue trailed a path over her jaw to kiss and tug on the writer’s bottom lip.

Alice released a wanton moan and unconsciously pushed forward and into the athlete’s fingers as they took painstaking care in unbuttoning her shirt. “God, Dana,” she halfway whimpered. “I want my shirt off. Take my shirt off.”

“Patience, baby,” Dana murmured into her, the kiss a toying hint and nibble. “I love this shirt too much to ruin it.” Saying this, the shirt was finally unbuttoned and fell open to leave Alice’s ***** on display. Sitting high but heavy, the lacy see through material perfectly accentuated their weight and shape. Delicately tracing the intricate pattern of the bra, a quirky smile perked on Dana’s lips though her blue eyes were dark with passion. “You have great *****, Al.”

“Dana,” Alice did whimper this time, pressing into the torturously light caress of the tennis player’s fingers. Wanting the contact to be more rough more real. “Dana,” she gasped as the brunette nuzzled her neck and nipped her skin. “Touch me, Dana.” She grasped a strong hand and shoved it up hard to make it squeeze and hold her right breast.

On hearing this fevered plea, Dana suddenly lost all of the patience she told Alice to possess. Seizing Alice’s mouth in a ravenous kiss, Dana ripped the bra from the writer’s body to then cup the pale ***** in her hands, squeezing them hard as Alice clearly wanted. The journalist groaned with pleasure when nimble fingers expertly tweaked her nipples. “Dana,” she released an oddly ***** combination of a whimper and animalistic growl. “***** me. ***** me hard. I want you to ***** me like that, I want you to ***** me hard. I want it so much.”

“I’ll ***** you,” promised Dana through labored breaths, capturing Alice’s lips and devouring all she was. Taking and taking until Alice thought she had no more left to give but she did. She did and she always would, it seemed, when it was for Dana. “But tell me again how you want it,” she said in a deep chuckle against Alice’s desperate lips, teasing and torturing her.

“Hard, Dana,” Alice rasped, rocking up into Dana who decided to play into the idea of role reversal for a recent sexual encounter. Pushing Alice down onto the chair in her bedroom and straddling her lap. Dana felt herself get even more turned on, if possible, at the memory of Alice doing this to her. And now it was her chance to return the favor. The blonde was straining into her, whimpering and growling, and she yanked a hold of the athlete to shove the fingers of her right hand inside of her. Dana suddenly found herself surrounded by the deliciously wet and clinging proof of Alice’s desire, making her release a low groan as Alice thrust herself down onto the brunette’s fingers to make them go further inside. “***** me hard.”

“Alice,” Dana growled as the blonde rocked into her, kissing her harsh and frantic.

“I love having you inside of me,” gasped Alice, riding the brunette’s fingers in a violent and unyielding pace. “I love having you ***** me.” She roughly grabbed Dana’s face, kissing her with a fierce desire, thrusting her tongue past pink lips in a crude but welcome invasion. Parting with a strangled laugh and moan of pleasure. “I love you.”

“Al,” groaned Dana, kissing Alice intensely and pressing into her as she plunged all four fingers inside in a merciless rhythm. “Do you like that? Tell me. I want to know.”

“***** yeah, I like it,” rasped Alice, shoving herself down, impaling herself fully on Dana’s fingers. “But I want more. Give me more of you.”

“God,” came Dana’s mindless reply, rising eagerly into Alice, kissing her hard and thorough and increasing the pace as she slipped her thumb off the blonde’s throbbing ***** to join her fingers in their brutal thrust inside. “Come, Al. Show me I’m ***** you good. Show me, baby.”

The vicious upward stroke of all fingers and a thumb pushed Alice into screaming oblivion. Groaning and muttering and biting into Dana’s kiss as the ***** seized her body. Alice collapsed into Dana’s arms, who held her in a comforting embrace after her fingers made a slippery retreat. The writer buried her face in the crook of the tennis player’s neck and Dana stood, easily sweeping Alice up and cradling her tenderly.

Depositing her precious burden onto the soft mattress, Dana delicately set about undressing the blonde who shivered at her feathery light touch, only releasing uneven breaths in her attempts to calm herself from the powerful aftermath of her *****. When Alice was undressed Dana tucked her underneath the blankets before removing her own clothing in a natural process, tossing them to the floor. She then snuggled under the covers, pulling Alice to her and sighing happily at the weight of the journalist’s body on top of hers.

In a sign of familiarity, she tucked her head underneath Dana’s chin. Exhausted but never happier, they moved closer to entangle their limbs completely, and Alice said in a rather staid observation, “That was hot.”

Bursting into a fit of laughter, Dana hugged Alice, kissing messy blonde locks. “Yeah,” she agreed. “It really was.”

They remained entwined, soothed and relaxed, resting into one another, content to simply be and be able to feel each other. An air of perfect peace settled over them and that was when Howie’s voice, loud and dripping with sarcasm sounded in the air.

“Hey lesbians!” a somewhat muffled Howie called out. His naturally sarcastic inflection was unable to be toned down even by the walls and floors separating them. “Quiet down with the perverted ***** acts! There’s an impressionable minor who’s been banished to sleep on your crappy excuse for a couch! I don’t want to suffer through any future tortures!”

“Oh my god,” Dana uttered, voice drowning in embarrassment, each word spaced further apart than the one before. After saying this, she ducked completely underneath the blankets, pulling them over her head as if to hide from the reality that her little brother had obviously heard her having ***** with her girlfriend.

Alice, in the meanwhile, stared at the door as if she could see Howie through it. Trying his best to go to sleep on that damn uncomfortable couch and wearing only his x love x silk boxers and puka shell necklace as sleepwear.

“SO *****,” was her only response.


To be continued