Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of PG. Age verification is required to proceed.
The Newly Discovered SoCal Humminger Bette Porterius ~ Chapter 6
Login to add story to favorites
“”Did the kids, or anyone else, for that matter, see it happen?”
There was a pause as Tina listened to the agitated man’s reply.
“That’s at least one good thing. That would have been traumatizing. We also wouldn’t want PETA to find out about it.””
“No. Under no circumstances is that tiger to stay on the set. It is to be removed immediately.”
“I don’t care it the animal wrangler has a replacement tiger. He couldn’t control; the first one, so there’s no reason to have any confidence with his handling of any other tigers.”
“Chuck, I don’t care how many scenes have been filmed with it already.”
“Don’t you dare shut down shooting while we find you a new tiger. From a different animal wrangler. One that control his animals. Film around it.”
“No one is going to notice if the tiger is different.”
“Fine. We’ll have make-up make the new tiger match the old one.”
Bronwyn burst into laughter. Tina glared at her friend, who mouthed an immediate apology.
‘Keep filming. You’ll have a new tiger by tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. Chuck, I’m so sorry. It must have been so traumatic for you. But I have tremendous respect for your professionalism and I know that you can work through this and keep filming.”
When the call ended, Tina looked at Bronwyn. “Sometimes it is all so surreal.”
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you later. I may be awhile so you might want to go ahead and not wait.”
“Are you kidding? This is a helluva more fun than a tuna salad plate.”
Tina called the animal management division and ordered them to find a new tiger by the next day, offering to pay double the price if necessary. She also had the current wrangler struck from the list of approved venders and gave orders that he and his animals were to be immediately removed from the set.
Tina checked her watch and knew that she had missed her chance to talk to Eric until after his lunch meeting.
“Let’s go.” Tina smiled at her friend Bronwyn. They had started at interns at the same time. Since Tina was interning in Development and Bronwyn in Finance, they could safely be friends in the very competitive environment. Both had been making steady progress in their careers, when the tragic catastrophe catapulted Tina to head of her department.
“So, what happened?”
“Short version?”
“You’ll tell me the long version later?”
Tina nodded. “The tiger on the set of that children’s fantasy movie ate four guinea pigs that were to be in a classroom scene. The director had pet guinea pigs as a child and is traumatized and wants to shut down shooting for a few days.”
“You can understand that he’d be upset.”
“Bronwyn, he didn’t see the attack and even if he had, he isn’t entitled to be $35,000 a day upset.”
Bronwyn shrugged her shoulders, “I see your point. But the poor guinea pigs.”
Tina paused and looked at Bronwyn, who had begun to weep
“I had guinea pigs. Fluffy and Muffy. Cute furry things. They didn’t deserve to die. All they ever wanted was to be was loved by a little boy or girl. Have a nice safe home. Not be eaten.”
“Not like their cousins in Columbia.”
“What?”
“The Columbians eat a cousin of the guinea pig.”
“Really?”
“Uh huh.”
“I wonder what it tastes like.”
“I’m hungry.”
“How can you be…”
“Shit! I only have another half hour for lunch. C’mon.”
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Bronwyn? C’mon, nobody’s named Bronwyn! I’ve never met a Bronwyn in my whole life. Why not give her a plausible name that everyone knows, like Gudrun or something?
2 days before artist dinner…hurry up and write it LOL
My middle name’s ‘Brownell’, maybe it’s a family name…anyway- loved the random guinea pig/tiger mishap. Off to buy a Butterfinger. Write soon!
Tina sounds like she is having cravings pregnant maybe? that would be a wrench eh?
I like how talk of the tiger snacking on guinea pigs segued into Tina wanting her lunch. I also love the Alice-Bette scenes. I know these two worlds are going to collide (and merge) soon, so reading the backstory is fun. Thanks for the post, Spumoni. :)
Spumoni, your writing is awesome! You have a story and I have faith that your story will be good, so go at your own pace…but post soon O.K.?
Poor little g-pigs. This is just too funny for words.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! After having such a BAD day today, your story has raised our spirits. Thanks, dearest friend. The humour between Alice and Bette is just hilarious. You made us crack several times. As for Tina’s hectic day, it sure seems VERY similar to the one we had. You made our day brighter, sweetie. *wink* PPS Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
Another great update! Thank you! Can’t wait to see the connection between Tina and Bette. Thank you again for posting :)
I am with Alice, I love chocolate. Tina is under a lot of pressure and she seems to be distracted, maybe because of the art gallery night.
funnyone, I actually know someone named Brownwyn.
Sorry Bronwyn.
Not sure where this is going. But I enjoy your writing so I will continue to read.
Very cute update. I’m anxious to get the Tina and Bette connection. Pleease!!!
mmm, I love Nutella! Bette’s non-girlfriend girlfriend gifts were also totally awesome. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with for the flowers.
u r too funny and i love it!!!
Wonderful story Spumoni. Mmmh… Nutella, you get extra points for writing it into your story :)
LOL This cracked me up. Bette and Alice are hilarious! Thanks for the update.
Nutella and Vegemite…both spreads I know. Good point that Nutella hasn’t taken off in the USA. It’s the BEST chocolate spread on whole grain bread!Reading your work is like watching the “behind the scenes story.” You give the LWord TV show, so much more context and sure fills in the blanks. I love the Bette-Aice & Tina-Brownyn interactions. Interesting, how you parallel these pairs. Love your humor best of all!
You don’t have Nutella in the US? How do you people survive? Nutella’s AWESOME. I actually never ate another chocolate spread. Can’t imagine what it’d taste like. Wonderful story!