Fan Fiction
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The Ramblings of Mad Woman
“Well thank you, I think,” Tina responded. “But you’re a bit out of the loop on my personal life. Henry and I haven’t been together for a couple of months.”
“Well that is a crying shame,” Joyce feigned concern as she continued. “And Bette with her new artist friend taking up all her time. You two would have been hot together as a repeat performance. Bet you could have at least struck up a one-nighter if you just set your mind to it.”
“You are so consistently inappropriate it’s quite startling to me,” Tina said.
“So what happened between you and Hank? Was he not keeping up in the department of satisfaction?” Joyce asked.
“If you must know, I missed the communication that is possible with a woman,” Tina started. “The communication that happens silently.”
“And by the time you figured that out, Bette had moved on,” Joyce stated sympathetically.
“Leaving Henry had nothing to do with Bette,” Tina replied flatly. “But I realized that even the perfect man was not going to match the feelings I could have for a woman. And he was far from the perfect man.”
“Mr. White bread suburbia wasn’t perfect? Perish the thought!”
“I don’t have to justify what I did to you of all people,” Tina started. “It’s just that I longed for what I’d had with my friends and yes, with Bette. I made a mistake.”
Joyce pushed away from the desk and stood. She made her way around to the other side, and pulled a chair up next to Tina.
“You’re a desirable woman Tina. You have a lot to offer some equally desirable potential mate. And let’s be honest, you live in West Hollywood. Land of Plenty,” Joyce said sincerely. “You can skim the cream and leave the milk for lesser mortals.”
A flush rose in Tina’s cheeks.
“You have only to put the word out and the women will be lined up around the block,” Joyce said.
“I haven’t even told anyone that Henry and I split up,” Tina admitted.
“I’m the first to hear about it?” Joyce asked. “I’m honoured.”
She took Tina’s hand and squeezed it gently.
“You’re one of those women of power that always make me a little weak in the knees,” Tina said. She couldn’t make eye contact as she made her admission. “I mean, I have power at work, but I like having that matched at home. I don’t want to be in charge all the time. And with Henry, I was. I was in charge. I got bored.”
“I could never let anyone be entirely in charge of me,” Joyce laughed. “But I’d sure let you pin me down if you asked nicely.”
“You are oddly compelling,” Tina laughed. “And if I find you attractive, I must be gay!”
“You sweet talker!”
“You know what I mean,” Tina tried to backtrack on her own comments, true as they were. “You’re sarcastic and funny and powerful and yet somewhere I know you’re vulnerable because you’re a woman.”
“And gifted at going down on a woman, but you wouldn’t know that,” Joyce commented.
“Jesus, do you ever let go of your bravado?” Tina asked, frustrated by the interaction.
“It’s part of what defines me, so to answer your question, no, I guess I don’t.” Joyce shrugged.
“Are we officially no longer in a client-attorney relationship?” Tina asked.
“The deal is done. Do you have another child you haven’t told me about? A pending divorce?”
Tina answered as she leaned in.
“No ties to disclose,” she replied.
“Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?” Joyce asked.
“I think that might be an intriguing way to spend an evening,” Tina replied. “But only if you let me make the reservations. And I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“Already trying to put me in my place?” Joyce observed.
“I think you’ve needed that for some time,” Tina replied. “And if I can establish a powerful position with you, I can be my own person with anyone.”
“A means to an end am I?” Joyce asked.
“Don’t make it sound so deceitful,” Tina replied. “I’m simply being as up front with you as you are with me.”
“I’ll see you at eight.” Joyce said. She didn’t understand this turn of events…how she was ending up on a date with Tina, but she wasn’t proud enough to turn it down
(the end.)
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(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
i love all of your writing, and this is no exception. hilarious that joyce and tina would get together in your dream world. hehe
“And if I find you attractive, I must be gay!”… or on one of Jenny’s carnival rides. ;-)
That was funny, Tina and Joyce!!!
Voices were spot on..loved it!
Hail to Toyce!!! LOL… well, at least i see more chemistry between tina and joyce than between bette and jodie
Do you remember the scene from “The Hunger” where Catherine Deneuve’s character is shouting, as if down through time? Well, imagine that it’s me, about this pairing shouting as though I were mad. Your writing, however, is as usual devine. Thank you.
dIvine. I hate misspelled words.
Intriguing beginning. And Ms. Wishnia, esq., best keep off any high-horses when it comes to discussions of ethics; in that arena, the character’s improprieties abound.
At this point, why not? Sounds like a dandy time for Tina…Bette’s doing the unbelievable so why can’t Tina…bring on Toyce!
Now there´s a scary picture – but painted with a rather funny brush
Yeah, techgal, I remember quite a few scenes from “The Hunger”. What a hoot! And so was this.
Although initially repelled by the idea I read it because you wrote it. I loved your sense of humor and appreciation of the ridiculous. How about another chapter?
LMAO, that was so funny, I was rolling on the floor! Joyce is definitely a piece of work! Wish you could give us more :)
LMAO, it’s official – you’re crazy!!! LOL. Hope to see more snippets from you soon :o))
Very funny and very acute too. It almost sounds possible…
*blink, blink* Hm, I was ‘oddly compelled’ by it… You nailed the two characters. Fantastic.
LOL… well, this was funny. I can’t help it, I believe in everything you write. You’re that good. BTW I loved your point about the NC-17 ratings… everyone should get to read the beautiful sex scenes you write. Thank you, JKS
No, no, no, i will not allow it ! Its morally wrong ! Where is that book ( part of expansive volumes ) of flowering indiscretions …. : )You write anything with your usual humour and intelligence, always a pleasure. Thank you ………
thanks for that. funny, thoughtful on many levels and just plain fun. thanks.
lol@Toyce! Man we need more of Joyce on the show.