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The Thawing of the Ice – Chapter Forty-Three
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“How do you go from that to sleeping with her?” asked Tina.
“Tee, I’m not the same person I used to be. When you first left me, all I could think about was getting you back. And then you came back to me. And you treated me like shit. I tried therapy, I tried chanting, I tried placating myself for you, I even went to a fucking monastery to find peace. And you were always there, laughing at me. Nothing was good enough. And then came the internet chatting and all the other bullshit with Henry and I started hating you.”
Tina swallowed thickly, her eyes following the rolling tide. “Hating me?”
“I was hurt by you, Tina. Hurt can breed hate. And I began to realize that what hurt me most when Helena came to L.A. wasn’t her undermining me at the CAC. What hurt me most was knowing that at every turn, you were there beside her. You brought her to Dana and Tonya’s bachelorette party for fuck’s sake. She wanted to destroy me and you helped her.”
Tina’s nostrils flared and her face began to glow red. “How dare you! You fucked Candace. We weren’t even together, Bette. We were separated when I was dating Helena.”
Bette rolled her eyes. “I know I fucked Candace, Tina. Our entire inner circle knows I fucked Candace. I’m sure most of West Hollywood knows I fucked Candace. And I hated myself for it. I paid for it dearly. I’ve apologized to you more times than I can number. I’ve been patient with you. I’ve been loving with you. I went back to Dan Foxworthy to figure my shit out so I’d be a better partner for you. And no matter what I did, you still kept punishing me for it. And then you found Henry and brought him into our home. You flaunted him all around me, had him thinking he was Angie’s parent and then magically you decided you wanted me back. All of that happened so fast and it changed me, Tina. It changed us.”
The blonde shrugged her shoulders “So why couldn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to get back with me? Why not just be honest?”
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woah intense ffew pages there i feel really sorry for tina i just want to hug her and tell her everything will be alright n its ok to cry.
Excellent chapter. PPS!
Wow, and no blood shed.
OMG that was intense! I hope Tina doesn’t leave and take Angie with her. That would just break Bette’s heart. Although I do understand if she needs to do just that for a little while. It’s got to be hard seeing your ex moving on with her life. (sigh) Such is life. Now, I’ll be away for the weekend. If I don”t post a comment after the next chapter, you’ll know why. It’s not a fun trip; so I hate going for that reason and because I won’t be able to get online much if at all. (pout) I’ll drop in when I get back.
You are such an amazing writer and we are so lucky to have you on this site. Even when your stories don’t go exactly the way everyone would want, you still manage to inhabit your writing with humor and grace. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
I agree with scarlett 100%, we’re so very lucky to have you. This was a great chapter, intense, but great. PPS :)
Tibetter…still here…because your writing is amazing. I’ve wanted to leave several times before, but I’ve kept on because you are telling am amazing story full of drama and angst. Thank you for the honesty for both Bette and Tina. It was heart wrenching, but powerful. I think this is one of the most vulnerable chapters written for the Tina character. She puts it out there. That to me takes courage. Now, to see where the relationship goes…please, continue to give Tina dignity in this break up. Not to grow cold, but to be able to let go and love. I also wonder if both women have really forgiven each other for the past? The past rubs them raw, that despite “loving” each other even as friends, there is always that edge of pain. Will there be some redemption if true forgiveness pops it’s head up? Can there be true happiness in the end…leaving it in your good hands.
Great chapter!! Great1! adore how you used the line: I can’t help the feelings I have..LMAO! Excellent job! And thank you for finally explaining things from Bette’s point of view…so far it was mainly focused on T and how hurt she’ll be and what is that she’s feeling…from bette’s point of view was dealing with Helena situation and feelings she can’t help having:))) But finally tibette talk, and think you said it all there. Realistic. natural. Think I’ll call you reality from now on!! Grat job and tnx for update;))))))))
Intense, sad, but damned good. Thanks, MTS. :)
In my previous comment I expressed that I didnt like this Bette but you know what I dont like this Tina either, she should show more dignity and personality, how she can accept without a “fight” that your partner for 7 years tell that wasnt herself and now she found the perfect partner that allow her to be herself. However I have my doubts on this relationship between Bette and Helena. I think you will give us some surprises , at least I hope so. Please allow Tina to grow in a way that Bette desperately miss. Thank you for taking the time to write this sad and intense story. You are an excellent writer.
The truth may hurt, but is ultimately a good thing!!! Well Done…looking forward to more drama in this fic!!
“She really listens to me and when I’m with her, I’m not angry or bitchy, I’m just Bette. I haven’t ever been just Bette. Not even with you.” ///// REALLY. More than seven years together, “Bette was never Bette. For a woman so smart, you should now be regretting having lost so much time in his life. More luck for the fate that” the art show did cast a spell, “and Helena came with it in your life. I can only wish a happy ever after all this statement. Now Bette can really tell that he met his soul mate. //// Thanks for the update.
You nailed it! Bette’s explanation about the way Tina made her feel included every reason that Bette should not go back to Tina – every.last.one. Having said that, I beg of you – please don’t have Tina in the rocking chair late at night holding a sleeping Angie and thinking she will never be able to look at her without thinking of Bette. She must feel as though her life is over and it’s making me cry just thinking about it. PPS!
Long time reader of all your stories but never posted on one of your stories before. You truly are a gifted writer in the way you bring your readers in and they feel with your characters but this one truly has me bewildered. I am totally a Tibette fan and granted I totally hate the choice that Bette made to be with Helena but what really bugs me is that your Bette never gave one thought to Angelica and how it might impact their shared custody. When she realized that she couldn’t fight her feelings for Helena she should have talked to Tina before anything ever happened with Helena. She should have weighed the potential risk of losing Angelica as part of her decision. As I read this chapter, all I could think was that Tina needs to take Angelica and leave town. Not to punish Bette but to find a new life for her and Angelica. Most of her life is in some way inter-connected with Bette and their mutual friends and I don’t know too many women who would deliberatly keep putting themselves in a situation where they have to see the person they thought was their First, Last and Forever with someone else especially given all of their history. In regards to Tina in this chapter I just can’t see Tina remaining as calm as she did towards the end when Bette basically told her that their entire life together was a lie. I know you said in your author’s notes that the journey isn’t over but I think you have totally shut or rather slammed the door on Bette and Tina ever finding their way back to one another.
MissingtheL: Congratulations to your comment.
that was a great conversation. It was needed.
At least they can talk & be mature about everything. Besides Bette basically saying she was never herself the whole 7 years they were together? That’s pretty harsh. Geez. How about letting Tina know this info the first year in, so neither of them will have wasted 6 years of our lives?!?! For crying out loud. Bette’s reasons for not telling Tina earlier don’t jive with me either. Tina still deserved to not be strung along & deceived. Tina should have been told that Bette had feelings for Helena long ago. Because if you’re having feelings for someone else why would you even try to work it out with your ex knowing that? You won’t be going into it wholeheartedly & that fact will hurt your ex anyway, so why bother? Tina waited for 2 months for Bette to give her some inkling of what was going on, all the while Tina was trying to court her. Still nothing until she’s blindsided with the news she doesn’t have a chance, Bette’s in love with Helena & they’re in a relationship. I’m sure Tina would have taken it a whole lot better if Bette would have informed her when she had developed the feelings for Helena. The whole time Tina’s thinking there might be a chance only to be devastated when she finds out the truth. That’s what I have a problem with, the continuation of the deception & the lack of honesty & tact. I don’t know why anyone would want Tina to be with this Bette anyway even if she & Helena don’t work out. She’s treated Tina so harshly during this time that a reunion just wouldn’t be plausible. Bette also cited worrying about Tina running off with another man as a reason it would be hard to work things out. When Bette met Tina she was with Eric but she pursued her anyway & eventually got her. She had to know there would always be a possibility that Tina would go back to men. She can’t keep blaming Tina for that. They both need to move on & find a way to raise Angie together in a civil manner. Both seem to feel like there’s been too much pain for a reunion to happen. Thanks for the story.
Great chapter very well written. Reading this made me think of something in my own life. I was with someone for twenty years who never showed who their real were. I think it very unfair for a person to not be themselves or honest about who they are. Because that misleads the other person in the relationship. My thought me whoyou are and let them accept or reject the truth because eventually they will find out who you are. So the “Bette” that Tina thinks she was going after wasn’t the “real” Bette anyway. Okay Tina time to move on. Fake folk uck! Great story :)
Is love supposed to be painfull like this??? Can’t stop crying.
I am a die hard Tibetter, but I understand both of them; obviously I disagree with Bette being with Helena but understand her self worth has been executed
came back for a peek…Never knew I could ever dislike Bette, but I am hating her here. It’s a Bette I don’t recognise, and her “falling in love” with Helena in this time frame is not convincing, nor believable to me.