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The Thawing of the Ice – Chapter Thirty-Eight
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Chapter Thirty-Eight
Helena’s world was filled with shades of cool, dispassionate gray. She floated through appointments, dinners, and gatherings with her well-practiced public persona, but underneath the veneer of easy smiles and companionable chit chat, she ached with emptiness.
They had been building a relationship; through cell phone text messages and carefree afternoons spent under the haze of each other’s presence. Helena had been rebuilding herself; substituting a fierce independence where there’d once been reckless entitlement, selflessness in place of self-absorbed narcissism, and sincere consciousness in the space previously occupied only by greenbacks laced in blue blood.
Bette had been the mortar for the building blocks of the new Helena. She’d been Helena’s inspiration and often her muse. Without hearing her laugh or seeing that beautiful smile, she felt out of sorts and off balance. Bette had become the woman with which she shared her triumphs and her fears; the sounding board of “yes” when she felt like saying “no”. Bette always gave her hope and support and with the distance now between them, Helena struggled to regain her footing.
As she’d been rebuilding, with Bette as her strong mortar, a deep affection had grown between them. The kisses they shared were a testament to that. And though the touch of Bette’s lips against hers had felt good and right, her newly minted sincere consciousness wouldn’t let her enjoy that memory. Bette truly belonged to someone else. If Helena had never interfered, then Bette and Tina may have reunited far sooner than they had. And maybe their lives would have been different.
She’d had no business interfering. No business toying with their lives. And long before Tina and Bette, Helena had cast dark shadows over the hearts of many trusting women with beautiful smiles.
As she floated through the opportunity of a lifetime, her heart was heavy and she often found herself in tears at night as she sat alone in her suite at the hotel. She was alone. And she deserved to be alone. She had no right to expect happiness in Bette’s presence. Happiness with Bette didn’t belong to her; it belonged to Tina.
When she’d arrived in her hotel room, she’d been surprised to find a bouquet of red roses and a plate of chocolate chip cookies and short glass of milk. The note had simply read,
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now more than ever i’m sure that this is going to be a heartbreak for tibetters…as much as helena will try to give bette space and time to reunite with tina, it seems that their hearts already had chosen each other…this story is really makes me feel for all 3 women…if it’s Belena who wins in the end, i hope Tina will find happiness too
Except for her regret and sorrow for past mistakes, I don’t think Tina has much for them to build on. Bette and Helena seem faced toward the future. This must be like Tina’s worst nightmare. I wonder what “horrible things” she did and that she’s with holding from Bette? Are they dealbreakers? Thanks!
Well being a TiBetter at heart I´m not sure the best solution would be for them to reunite at this point. There are far too many unresolved issues between them and distrust. Bette feels safe and happy with Helena. Let her explore that- Thanks for this amazing story.
she didn’t read the email…the suspense is killing me…PPVS!!!
Come in, Helena! Read the email! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to know what it says. I do!!! LOL! Don’t sell yourself short, girl! You are just what the doctor ordered for Bette. Hurry back home so you two can fall in love and live happily ever after. =)
The way Bette & Helena’s situation started & has continued is hardest for me to wrap my head around. The main problems I’m having with this whole scenario is the deception & lack of honesty. It seems to me like Bette hid their entire friendship until she could no longer do so & Tina started to ask questions. But she still hasn’t divulged that she loves Helena. Why be so deceptive & secretive about someone you love? How much longer is she going to wait to tell Tina she loves Helena? Bette should let her know already. It’s been almost 2 months. Tina deserves to be aware of the fact that Bette has developed feelings for Helena. Especially since Bette knows Tina wants to work things out with her. I don’t care about either coupledom. Honestly, they all need to be alone for a good while. I just wish Bette would do the right thing. As I’ve said before, I just want them all to be happy without causing one another pain. There’s been enough pain to go around. Stop that cycle. Thanks for the story.
LuHstrous wrote: The way Bette & Helena’s situation started & has continued is hardest for me to wrap my head around. The main problems I’m having with this whole scenario is the deception & lack of honesty. It seems to me like Bette hid their entire friendship until she could no longer do so & Tina started to ask questions. But she still hasn’t divulged that she loves Helena. Why be so deceptive & secretive about someone you love?” … LuHstrous – I have the same questions and a theory… My feeling is that Bette and Helena don’t have a pure heart or a clear conscience about what attracted them to each other in the first place. They were trying to pass this relationship off as a ‘friendship’ when it’s pure and simply a lustful attraction. If they’d had sex the first time they went out together I think that would have been a more honest response as to what is really between them. A sexual attraction would be more believable between two former enemies than the idea of them becoming best friends and each other’s world after just a casual acquaintance. Bette had her intentions when she moved Helena into her house and denying the real reason is why they have the secrecy. If they were truly bonded as ‘best friends’ I think Helena would have been proud to tell Peggy about Bette, and Bette would have had no qualms about telling Tina, Alice, Kit and Shane. They are only complicating things by mentioning the ‘L’ word at this stage in the relationship. I’d like to think they will work out as a couple but I’m very doubtful. They might be able to last for a while if they remain reclusive and never venture out to socialize with friends and family – but how they are in public will be the real test of their strength as a couple.