Leaving Lee at her hotel was the easiest thing Bette did that night. Driving back home she thought about their talk. She could not believe she didnt notice Lee being *****. Remembering all their talks since they met, Bette realized it was all there, it has always been there. But she didnt see it. She could not put her finger on how she missed it, it was a surprised, a shock.

Lees ways were subtle and delicate but, Bette realized, pretty obvious too. It was very confusing to realized that she didnt notice, that she didnt think, even imagine Lee being *****. Waiting for the light to turn green, Bette sighed. It was not just a relief sigh, it was a happy one. She was happy to realize, to being able to admit to herself, to others, what she has been saying all this past months. It wasnt just a reaction to her cheating, to her actions. It wasnt guilty talking. She didnt have to pretend with Lee, no one, none of her friends knew her. But she said it. She said it out loud. She told Lee she love Tina.

For the first time in all those months, Bette said it feeling each and every word. They came out because they were true, not as an excuse or an explanation. She loved Tina. Not because she cheated on her and was scared to lose her, but because she always did.

Smiling, feeling happy and relax, Bette took the last curve to her place thinking about tomorrow. Happy to know that she was going to see Tina again, to talk with her, to see their baby. Nodding, checking the time, she was happy that Lee decided to change the photographers appointment for next week. Parking the car, Bette wished it was already tomorrow.

Walking to the front door, Bette saw somebody sitting on the porch. Scared at first, she stepped back trying to take a better look only to realize that it was Tina the one seated on the swing.

“Tina!” she said, walking closer.

“Are you ok?” she asked, not just surprised but a bit worried too.

“Yeah…” Tina nodded standing up.

As Bette was looking at Tina, trying to understand, Tina said,

“Where were you?” the words escaping her lips, unable to stop them.


She didnt want to star the conversation that way, to greet Bette with that question, but it was beyond herself. All those hours she waited for Bette to arrive, for Bette to answer the phone, Tina imagined the worst and more. It was not like Bette to be out so late as It was not like Bette not to answer her cell.
But then, what did she know about this new Bette?. Alice nonchalantly told her after having lunch with Dana, that all Bette was doing these days was pretty much working and sleeping like a bear. Her social life was none. Alice wasnt worried, but for Tina, even when Bette seemed to be not drinking as before, apart for the party, Tina wasnt sure about her life anymore. What if she was drunk and harmed herself?, what if she had an accident? What if??

Waiting for Bette at the porch Tina wondered, wondered and prayed. She blamed herself for not bringing her keys, she blamed herself for being selfish, for forgetting who she was, for letting life change her. But then, as the minutes passed, she blamed Bette too. It was easier to be mad at her, to be furious. Anger was a feeling she could handle, desperation was not. She didnt want to think about what ifs, she didnt want to start evaluating why she was there, waiting for Bette, wondering about her. She didnt want to face reality, if reality meant that Bette was in some kind of trouble. So blaming Bette, being angry with her was calming her sinking heart, helping her to breath, holding her hopes.

Looking at her, holding her breath, Tina waited for Bettes answer.

“I was driving around” Bette answered, trying to read Tinas face, unable to really focus, so happy she was just by seeing her.

“Alone?” Asked Tina again, here eyes looking down, unable to face the look on Bettes face.

“No” Bette answered a couple of seconds later.

Looking up, locking her eyes with Bettes, Tina sighed. And then, out of nowhere, as if time stopped, surprising them both, Tina slapped Bette on the face.

“Tina!” Bette mumbled, leaning backwards, unable to put into words the confusion she was feeling.


“You can do this again!… You cant!!” Tina said moving closer. Her eyes burning with fire, her words shaking like a leaf.

“What?.. am doing nothing?” Bette said, opening the door, hoping for an exit, trying to understand, feeling not only lost but sad all of a sudden.

Turning, locking her eyes with Tina, she added,

“Come inside… please…”

“Dont tell me what to do!” Tina said storming in. Her tone harsh, her hands trembling.


Walking towards the kitchen Bette hoped for Tina to calm down, to explain herself. Not knowing what was going on, what was Tina accusing her of, Bette sighed. She wasnt angry, she didnt know what to be angry at. It was just confusing, sad to watch Tina like that.

“What are you doing here?” she ventured to ask.

“I sent you a message…I called you…” Tina said caressing her belly, pacing the room up and down.

“You called me?” Bette asked, even more confused.

“Why?…is everything ok?…you ok?”

Nodding, feeling her muscles relaxing just by hearing Bettes voice, Tina mumbled,

“I was worried…”

“You were?…why?” asked Bette, slowly moving closer.

Noticing Bettes proximity, so close but so far away, feeling as if a thunder was ripping her apart, Tina stepped away walking towards the pool. Stopping at the glass doors, she asked,

“Who were you with?”

Sighing, realizing what was coming, imagining what Tina could think, Bette mumbled, her shoulders defeat, her senses vanishing.

“Lee”

Turning around, with an indescribable look in her eyes, finding breathing difficult, her body shaking, Tina walked towards the front door.

She could not talk, or look at Bette. She was furious, with herself, with the world. She wasnt letting herself be sad or lost as she knew she could die slowly if she did. It was the end, it was too late. She knew it.

Watching Tina walking away, looking down, without even saying a word, Bette run after her. Grabbing her arm, she stopped her at the door.

“Tee!…wait!!…you cant go!…you cant run away!!…not like this… not again!!”

Turning to face Bette, Tina whispered, her voice trembling, the words dying at the end of her lips.

“What do you want from me?”

Locking her eyes with Tinas, unable to restrain herself, her wishes, her desire. Slowly, very slowly Bette took Tinas face in her hands. Leaning forward, without moving her eyes from Tinas, she mumbled,

“YOU!…I want you”

See saw it in Bettes eyes. There it was, all over again. The look in Bettes eyes, the look she had on the beach. It was real. It was there. Closing her eyes, feeling dizzy, her knees weakening, Tina whispered

“Thank god!”.

The words dying on her lips, as Bette was covering them with hers.