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Tina, Tiny Pieces Chapter 12
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Monday, in the office of Bette’s therapist
So Bette, you said this project is exciting, I believe you also said very personal and poignant. But you said also that there are some … I believe you said "glitches."
Bette frowns, nods her head, she chews on her thumb.
I have an ethical issue. At least I think it’s ethical.
In what sense? What is the issue?
They’re not my photographs. I didn’t take them.
You said though, that your student –
Lorna.
Thank you – Lorna – gave them to you and told you to do "something" with them. Didn’t she express an interest in having them shown in the student exhibit?
Bette nods again.
Can you tell me why it’s an issue?
Maybe it’s not an issue, maybe it’s just a dilemma. It’s just – the vision for the display, the way I’ve set it up — the way I want to set it up, rather – that’s all me. That’s where it gets personal, that’s where it becomes mine.
Does Lorna know you knew Dana? Is she aware you were friends?
Bette shakes her head, then shrugs.
I don’t know. I was so stunned when she brought them to me, when I looked through them. I asked her a few questions but she’s very reticent – she’s painfully shy.
Have you spoken to her about it since?
Yes, of course. I contacted her when I completed the initial layout, when I decided I did want them in the exhibit and knew what I wanted to do with them. She came to office hours, I sketched it out for her.
What was her reaction?
She seemed fine with it. No, that’s not right. She was noncommittal. When I pressed her, when I pushed her to give me a yes or a no, she said it was alright, it was "fine by her."
But you don’t think she was alright with it?
Bette frowns again, she rubs her palms together.
I do think she was. I didn’t get a sense she wasn’t.
Is there an ethical issue, Bette?
Bette cocks her head, confused?
I mean in the strictest sense of the word. For instance, there are journalistic ethics. Medical ethics. Legal ethics. Do artistic ethics exist?
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OMG your dog sounds like my cat Xander. He’ll whine and scratch to go out, will stay out for 2 minutes tops, then whine to come back in. Although on occassion you have to coax him to come back in. Alright, time to read the chapter. *does a happy dance, but doesn’t step on any ants*
Bette’s session sounded like some that I’ve had, minus pillow throwing. I go in, have something on my mind, and somehow we end up on the biggest topic of all the ones I’ve faced and sometimes I just want to say, “What the fuck? Not everything revolves around me having a hard time accepting myself!” Although the Tina thing actually was a part of the problem here. Tina’s doodling also reminded me of a faculty-senate meeting I had to attend while I was student teaching 4 years ago. So damn boring and no one wants to be there. I ended up writing a shitty song about it. Anyway, I have to agree with Shane. Tina should be included in this thing for Alice, even if it will be a pain in the butt to make it work.
My cat Piper said hi and to please not chase her. She is to lazy to move. This is getting intense. I am always a little afraid to read this story. My heart still very much lies with a Bette and Tina connection. I know that this is your version, but real life scares the hell out of me too. At least Tina knows that she messed up badly. Now, will she do something about it. Even her father knew something was wrong or off. Bette is so badly hurt that she hates the one person that she loves the most. I still think that the best way to start the healing process is for Tina to re-introduce Bette to her daughter Angelica. I would also not put it past Henry to have made the call to Tina’s mom. He knew that he was loosing her so he played the mom card. I will keep reading even though it is very painful.
Damn. That’s quite a hard pill for Bette to swallow … I don’t know what I’d do in her place—all that rage and hatred is well warranted. Can she put those feelings aside for Alice? Still, even if she doesn’t have to have any contact with Tina in order to get her participation in this project, Bette still would be reminded of all that is hurt and disappointment any time she hears Tina’s section. As for Tina, does she even deserve to come out of her self-involved world where she is both victim and victor to participate in what sounds like a beautiful and meaningful project? Bette should agree to it, only to be the better person and show how much she truly loves both Alice and Dana, but I would keep her clear and free of one “FUCKING TINA KENNARD.” Thank you for including some tiny pieces of Bette in this one!
You are one fucking clever woman! Your dog’s monologue is a hoot and a half. But more importantly, your story and writing are exceptional.
My cat is wimp,except around me. He will give you a hi=five shake hands and roll over as long as I tell him to do it. and will come when I yell FRESH,which is food time. Bette should let Shane take care of Tina,she loved Dana also. Bette would have to see her at all. All Bette should care about now is trying to see Angie. and be her Mother again/ Tina has her boy=toy and he seems to be the BOSS/ thanks
Damn….this is incredible. The thing with Tina is…she knows now what is going on. She knows now the mistakes she has made. She knows now what she needs to do to correct those mistakes. Yet she continues to just wallow in them. She doesn’t move forward, she doesn’t move backwards. She seems to be content to just wallow in her shit…almost like all that shit surrounding her is somehow comforting to her. I don’t even know if that makes sense. This story is so painful to read, but I’ll tell you what, when I see you have posted, I don’t even hesitate before I click on it. Thank you.
Fucking Tina Kennard, where is your backbone?…And I am talking directly to a fanfic character. Move over and make room on that couch, Bette, I hear bells! Conditioned response, conditioned response, conditioned response…Where is my fanfic pellet?
First i laughed out loud to read the post from your dog. I used to play a similar game with my cat. However i caught him reading the want ads one day for “better door openers and closers.” This chapter just hurts. i know its just fiction, but Bette’s pain is palpable, you can see it, you can feel it. It makes me cry. thanx so much for putting Bette in this chapter, and Tina doesn’t deserve to be a part of Dana’s memorial. maybe you can have Shane taking care of Bette a little more, so she won’t feel so alone?
well, bette is getting so emotional but maybe talking about tina could help to take away some of the hatred…and tina, my beloved f***ed up tina, grab angie and run away, you’re clearly not happy and nothing can make you feel better, not in the situation you’re in…
Seems like Bette’s still a little upset about the breakup. I’m really interested to see Tina’s mother. Tina just about peed her pants when she heard she was coming for a visit. And that alone was reason enough for Tina to abandon her “plan”. Could Mom turn out to be yet another Alpha on the scene?
I loved how this chapter was all about mothers and daughters and friends and lovers……..Very interesting to watch the subtle changes in Tina as she gets closer to a decision about the inclusion of Angelica in Bette’s life…….At the beginnning of this series Tina was more emotionlly distant from Angelica, almost as if she resented her justa bit for the reminder that she was of both Bette and her hasty decision. Now, it appears that she is taking solace in her interactions with Angelica and growing closer to her BECAUSE of her link to Bette……..Initially she allows Henry to embrace her, holding her close because on some subconscious level she wants her problems to be fixed by someone else………However, Tina’s resolve has always been tenuous when faced with unexpected changings in her emotional landscape. She comes undone and retreats, avoiding confrontation that is both external and internal……..Henry may not have deliberately orchestrated a call to or from Tina’s mother, but her certainly took advantage of it to leverage Tina’s filial responsibility, thereby manipulatiing the circumstance to fit his needs…….Just to let you know, from an ethical standpoint of course, that I plan to use “…out-neutral the fucking Swiss” in the future. That is a gem!………I can understand Bette’s uneasiness with the photography exhibit. Lorna’s inability to clearly and fully articulate her feelings about the show seem to resemble Tina’s actions as well. The last time Bette trusted someone that wasn’t outwardly vocal it had disasterous results………Bette and Tina are both struggling with the belief that feeling or wanting something passionately will have negative consequences. However, their aporetic nature is unfounded in this case………Tina’s acknowledgement that Chloe and Helena have changed was perhaps the barest of admissions that she has at least some responsibility for that, it’s a step toward fully accepting the hand that she had in upsetting the applecart of everyone’s lives……..She’s not quite ready to step off and blindly throw herself into reconciling her life, but she is getting closer to the precipice when she replays conversations and events in her head – she is testing the footing at the edge of the cliff……..Bette’s denigration of Tina is not out of anger, it is borne out of a deep and palpable hurt……..This in turn leads her to desire to withhold Tina’s involvement with the project, it’s retaliation for the hurt Tina has inflicted on her. She knows that if Tina finds out that she had not been asked to be a part of it that it will upset her. It’s her way of excluding from the life she once had in a similar way that Tina has withheld Angelica from her………It’s Bette’s way of mitigating impuissance that she has allowed to become a part of her behavior……..It’s touching to see how much Bette wants to give the exhibition as a gift to Alice and as long as Lorna was not romantically involved with Dana, then I think that Alice will see it as the tribute and catharsis that it’s meant to be………Shane understands the ethos of their group of friends and that they all need to participate in this project as a means for everyone to move forward, regardless of what structure the group takes going forward………Like I said, Mothers and Daughters/Friends and Lovers……..Marvelous story, Kid. The veil of uncertainty that cloaks each chapter is captivating most definitely. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter. And if an industrial size drum of dog treats suddenly shows up, I’d check the doghouse for your Via card…….
Well, I agree with Bette that Tina shouldn’t be involved with the project. Man, she used to care more about her dressing at Dana’s death bed. She was playing the role of Bette’s partner in the group instead of being a real member. I didn’t see she really listened to or console someone from the group. I think Kit is a better choice. Could the Lorna be Bette’s potential new love interest? I’d love to see Bette find some artist to share her love and passion. I don’t think Bette and Tina are good matching at this point. But as long as Tina feels regretful, missed Bette and wants to get back, my heart can’t help aching and wanting to forgive her. Is that the first impression thing? sigh…
Ive just read all these amazeing comments….and am tempted to just say…”What she said!”…but thats just me being too lazy to write my own comment…..Amazeing chapter..all the above..lol…and more….your writting is a pleasure to read,i felt all the emotions that both these women are going through..though id like to see Tina grow a set!…..Bette..well Bette is just amazeing,sad and still very hurt and angry…looking forward to more soon…Thanks..and special Thanks to you talented Dog!…very articulate!.lol
WOW! Just wow??!! Oh my god your soo good! pls tell me you write books, tell me u write some tv shows… pls tell me where to read more and more! I really can’t get enough of your writing!
My cat J (he says hello) is a chick magnet. He’s not too keen on the guys. But he’s such a sweet, silly boy. And in his opinion (and mine, too), anyone who calls you dumb doesn’t recognise that sinking feeling they have, which is their IQ seeping into the earth’s crust, right into that fiery iron ball core. Talk about being weighed down by stupidity. As opposed to being uplifted by knowledge and awareness. And if you tell the stupid ones to go fuck themselves, they think it’s cloning. But anyways, Lastkid, you send me. I love your fic as always. Please keep on writing. (How’s Courtney doing these days?) Cheers!
ah last kid still trying to kill us tibetters. im still here and catching up. argh!!! thanks.
My favorite line of this chapter, of the day, of maybe the year even: “Shane can out-neutral the fucking Swiss.” Wonderful!
Brilliant.
her sweetly sleeping face a perfect portrait of her name……I love this fascinating reference to Bette……..Anyway, I have a spoiled rotten shih tzu named Bella. She doesn’t do all that scratching the door stuff to get out and have me get up 5 minutes later to let her back in……NO, that would be too easy. She EXPECTS me to bring her steamed shrimp & gravy on a regular basis; like she got up and actually spent her day at a job!! OK, back to the story. *_* Each chapter solidifies my feelings for Tina. I don’t know why she expects her shit to straighten itself out without any intervention on her part. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she is having all these revelations about how/when/where/why she went wrong, but now it is time to do something about it; even if that something involves being with her REAL family; which is Bette & the friends Henry thinks is not REAL!!
Oh, one more thing – is it me, or does it seem that Henry is becoming one passive ass fella? I just KNEW that he and TINY TINA where going to have the showdown of all hoedowns when she returned home. Instead, the man is hugging her and pleased as punch that her mother is coming to town. I suspect that he has something to do with that Unannounced, Uninvited & Unexpected trip. I can see Henry and mother-in-law getting along swimmingly – they are both blinded by their own wants.
Awesome – but so sad.
Pets…gotta love em! Thanks for the post…you are an amazing writer. Of course, I sit here and hope that some how these two women come back together. Don’t think your version would be pretty.
I didn’t have a chance to comment on the last chapter but I thought it was good that Tina was able to talk more to Chloe. Also, it was good for her to hear a view of Henry from someone who has known him a long time.As for this chapter – Bette’s therapy session was written perfectly. Of course it’s all about Tina! Nice complication with Tina’s Mom on the way, too. Love this story.Shane – the Swiss Miss?
Another chapter which makes me speechless. My dog is falling hard for your dog, does she have a chance?.
hi techgal…your fanfic pellet is,always glad to see you!! Tina’s backbone is in the same place as her brain and her heart and her compassion, in other words, Peru!
Amazing chapter. I think you are really starting to get to the core of their own individual issues. When Bette screamed she hated Tina, I just reminded my battered TiBette heart, that indifference is the opposite of love, not hate. Crossing my fingers its a good sign. Please continue with your authors notes–I laugh out loud. PS I have two dogs that like to pretend they are dumb too. I yhink they do it so they won’t get in trouble when they destroy my favorite flip-flops :). Thank you kid.
Wow. I just csught up. This is a great story. Your dog sounds awesome, pretty good writer also. I hope B&T will use the “gift” to maybe find their way back to each other. Thanks for taking the time.