Chapter Twenty-Six

BP narration

I was sitting on the porch. I felt very much like yelling at the world. The doctors wouldn’t let me see Tina, saying it wasn’t good for me, that I could see her later.

It was just all so fucked up and so ironic. ‘Something’s missing’, so, so childish of me. I should’ve been damn happy with what I had. I was so angry that all of this was happening to my Tina.

I was the cause of all of this and I wanted to be with her. I wanted to make the pain go away. I hated everyone who had made this happen.

I hated the anonymous trucker who had driven away, I hated myself because she had went looking for me. For a second, I was even mad at Shane and Alice because they had let Tina go. The rage was all consuming.

I yelled at everyone who tried to talk to me, offering any help. Of course they couldn’t help. If they could make Tina be okay, than I would listen, but I wasn’t going for anything less. I sighed and dropped my head between my hands. God wasn’t my best friend right now. If I ever had believed in him.

I tried to be as civil as possible with everyone, but most of the time I just didn’t feel like it. I was mad at everyone who was stopping me from doing whatever I could.

Two days later, the situation hadn’t changed. I was desperate, I was willing to do everything just to make her wake up. I was allowed at her bedside again and I didn’t leave it. I made so many vows, how I would tell her how much I loved her every day, how my life would just revolve around her and I wouldn’t leave her alone for a second. I was willing to do anything, to donate a large percentage of my salary to charities that helped victims of car accidents.

There was nothing I was not prepared to do to get Tina back. She was my life, my everything. I tried to set my mind off her, but it felt like betraying her, like I had to think about her all the time.