Fan Fiction
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Tongue Tales – Bette Porter L Word
“So, I had Lesbian Sushi with Alice.” She winks at me.
I choke a little on my food. I drink a long sip of iced tea. “Phyllis, excuse me, I thought you wanted to talk about work.”
“No, this is lunchtime, Bette. Take a break.” Phyllis insists. ”You work too hard.” She nods approvingly at me.
I sigh. I take another bite of my Caesar that’s beginning to lose its tangy taste.
Phyllis leans across my desk, and in a serious tone says, “Bette, I need to know everything. How do you give a woman multiple orgasms?”
I blink several times at her then, I begin to laugh. “Phyllis, this sexual counseling you’re after is absolutely NOT, in my job description.” I wave my fork at her, “We’re not having this conversation.” I flip through the pages of the Smithsonian Art Journal Quarterly.
Phyllis digs in, “Bette, this is really unkind and unexpected coming from you. I thought you’d be welcoming me into The Sisterhood, or whatever you all call it.”
“I don’t know if we call “It” anything, Phyllis,” I dismiss her. ”But I’m glad you had a good time.”
“See, I knew you’d come around. That’s just it! I did have a good time, but tonight I want to have an even better one!” Phyllis leans back in her chair and waits for my direction on how to pull off multiple orgasms. I should tell her it’s all in the jaw, but I won’t.
“Seriously? Phyllis? No. I refuse.”
“Listen, Bette, I don’t have anyone else to talk to,” she fixes me with an unnerving stare, ”and Alice told me so much about you.” Phyllis emphasizes her last few words insinuating the nature of their pillow talk. I feel my temperature rise, a throb begins in my neck. Alice is absolutely a Kiss and Tell. She’s seen me there. Goddammit!
What time is it? One fifteen. I could get across to the west side, kill Alice, and be back in time for my three o’clock Modernism lecture. I’m distracted from my plotting, when Phyllis’ voice bites through.
“Bette, quit holding out on me. Tell me how you’d give a woman multiple orgasms. I’ve never had an orgasm in my whole life that went on so long, and then started all over again.”
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(8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Phyllis’s is too much. Too funny. Thanks
Oh I soooo loved the conversation that Phyllis and Bette had…Lmao!….She con Bette to see her tongue?
omg! I gotta hand it to Alice…She’s one brave women to be able to endure the very mad Bette Porter?!…
LOL! ..When Shane doesn’t know if she would agreed to Alice or give her support to Bette?
Love the pic BB! The smirking Bette is very fitting to the narrative.
And Tina’s picture?…how i picture her in my head…*swoon*…
What a fun read! Bette was always made out to have mad skills in the loving ladies department while eschewing the use of sex toys. Now, thanks to you, we know the real reason that she is/was so successful. How exasperating is Alice? She goes beyond the pale. Isn’t she like one of Bette’s BFs? That’s not how a best friend acts.
My personal wish is that Jodi doesn’t get involved w/Bette on an intimate level. IMO, Marlee Matlin was a poor choice as Bette’s lover. Physically, she wasn’t Bette’s type and I could never believe that she was comfortable being cast as a lesbian especially b/c she was a personal friend of Jennifer Beals. She seemed so stilted in the love scenes compared to JB and LuH.
Great! Meeting with Phyllis – just hilarious. Good smack down on Alice.
Thank you!!!
That’s for the post. I love your spin on things. Great fun in this one.
Hilarious!!! Great read. Thanks. Your writing has a huge range. From sad and introspective to funny and light hearted. Wonderful dialogue.
The conversation was just so funny between Bette and Phyllis! Poor Bette, she never get a quiet lunch! :D
Alice …. I seriously wonder how much she can get away with? (she was not my favorite character ever!)
I hope Jodie does not mix in it too much. :)
lez girls, I have come to expect this part. I’m wondering whether Tina will see a few truth in the book?
I love it. I love the way you write.
I looking forward to the next chapter.
I always thought the lez girls a interesting point in the show. but it remained unfinished as most of the stuff (thanks to IC)
I am glad that I gave you inspiration/idea ;)
One of the best potential scenes in TLW was the one in which Jodi is sketching while Bette is sleeping. I say, potentially, b/c Jodi just did not cut (IMO) it in the romantic scenes. It had the potential to be so erotic, sexy and sensual but Jodi touched Bette’s breasts like a safecracker trying to open a safe (Okay, a bit hyperbole, but still). She kissed Bette like she was going out the door for work. No passion (again my opinion), rather perfunctory. Leave it up to IC to have one of the sexiest scenes in daylight to be between Bette and Jodi. Damn you, Ilene, you brought us innovation and freshness and then mangled it in so many ways.
Blackbird – this chapter was hysterical. It brought me back to some of my favorite moments on the show with Alice and Bette while Alice was dating and then trying to break up with Phyllis. Bette was at her comedic best and for a change it was lighthearted fun even though it was mixed in with some drama. I also liked how Bette and Phyllis played off each other. Post Tina and pre Jodi Bette was finally finding herself again. Too bad it didn’t last. Tina broke her heart and Jodi broke her spirit. I always wished that Bette could have found her match without having to lose her identity and become a shadow of herself. Thanks for taking us on this journey.
Phyllis is nuts.Funny story,thank you.
BB..u never seize 2 amaze me. you have tremendous talent my friend. it was fun reading the dialogue between Bette n Phyllis. I was actually lol. Hilarious. Sorry I’ve slacked off commenting on ur posts,but I’m reading “The first phone call from heaven” n will finish it soon n will have more time, promise. Thx 4 your posts n keep’m coming. I’ve read all of them, just haven’t commented on’m. Pics you’re using go well with the stories. I’m glad you’ve kept Jodie out of the picture. Now 4 some brewskies 2 get this weekend started…bottoms up my dear BB!! Enjoy your weekend!!
You gotta love Phyllis and Alice !
A great, funny Chapter and 4 wonderful pictures of JB and 1 of LuH :D
Thanks BB :)