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Valediction – Chapter 2 – “Take my hand and lead me to salvation…”
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TINA- “I know. I know. I know.”
BETTE- (Tina seems almost annoyed with her refrain.) “Are you ok? I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if anything had happened to youyou don’t know how sorry I am.”
TINA- “I DO know.”
BETTE- (She doesn’t know what to think and is fearful. She’s trying to stay calm and speaks to Tina in as mild a tone as she can muster) “Then why are you here? What else do you want? What else could you want now?” (Bette is afraid there’s a purpose to this visit that will demolish her already beleaguered soul.)
TINA- “I”
BETTE- “If this about Angelica, please let the lawyers handle it. I can’t do this, I especially can’t do this with you NOW.”
TINA- “It’s not about”
BETTE- (She’s not really listening and interrupts) “I love her.” (She looks at Tina like she is making a last stand on that issue, an issue on which she knew very well Tina had all the control as the birth mother, so all the posturing in the world would be pointless. Bette’s voice seems to highten and strengthen but it hangs by a thread) “She means the world to me. She is everything.”
TINA- “I know, you said all that before. I could never and would never question your love for her. You must know that, somewhere in there, deep down, in that complex mind of yours, in that luminous yet tortured soul.”
BETTE- (She’s being pushed and now her numbness is giving way to what’s underneath. She’s taken aback by what she feels is almost an understatement or a sarcastic comment.) “What? What the hell do you know about my tortured soul?” (Her voice is emboldened but showing the auditory signs of a just how tortured that soul is.) “I told you I’m sorry, what more do you want?”
TINA- “And I told you I know.I knowI know. What more do you have to give, what more do have to say other than ‘I’m sorry’? Is there anything else in there Bette?” (She moves one step closerthey’re about 15 feet apart.) “You kept asking me earlier tonight ‘WHY’? Whywhywhy. When I stood that night at the CAC looking for you and turned to find a sight that my eyes fell on, like a warrior falls on his sword, all I could see was your answer to my question to you before we lost our child. I had asked you WHY- I wanted to know whether my fear that you had fallen out of love with me was justified. And there, not before, but there and then, that awful night, you gave me what seemed like an answer delivered straight through my heart. And when I faced you in our bedroom, as I do now, you said then too that you were sorry. And I delivered my answer to that that apology. For several months thereafter you never said that word again, but there you were at every turn, hoping for redemption, looking at me like your redeemer, like I had to give you somethinglike unless I would give you something and prove it to you, you couldn’t see anything else, you couldn’t feel anything else, you couldn’t do anything other than relive your betrayal and destruction of everything I held dear. You made me relive it with you. I suppose that was to be expected. But it was relentless. You seemed to wait for me, for the next move, the next decisioneven our first touch after that horrendous nightyou stood there and waited for permission, not just in the first moments, but throughout. And there was a hint of fear in youit scared me when I saw it. Most times I couldn’t see past it. I didn’t know what was beyond itI became afraid of what was left in you. I tried to ignore it and thought we needed time to mend our wounds. After all, we still loved each other, I thought. Our child was born and you still waited and looked for whatever you hoped I’d give you, but you gave everything of yourself to hershe became the recipient of everything else in you, except for ‘I’m sorry’, except for that look, that feeling, that posture of waiting for me to come to you, to give you what you neededthat was reserved for me. My child was the luckiest daughter alive, and I was the unluckiest woman I knewsleeping next to the love of my life, the woman who was my other half, the one who made me whole, but I couldn’t touch her, I could barely stand being near her and then my only escape was away from her, in a direction so opposite to my heart’s direction into her that I couldn’t find my way backand given that she wouldn’t step forward, not unlike what she’s doing now, she couldn’t catch up to me, she couldn’t reach me, she couldn’t find meso I was lost.”
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I don’t believe that I have ever read anything more intense than this chapter. Amazing. It was amazing how you conveyed their inability to hear each other. This will never happen on the show–Ilene wouldn’t take the time for anything like this to happen. Thanks for this story.
…..and take that IC and put it where the sun don’t shine!!!! Damn I wish I had the words to let you know how wonderful this is to read..again you give it all to us, without holding back, this is the way we love to see our B/T…Now Ms IC has been given another season and she had better do right by these two ladies because I don’t believe she will be given a number 5…well at least I can’t see JB/LH giving her one…Pls don’t ever stop writing for us here, you are a godsend with the words you put down on paper…pls I wait to see what you give us next…thankyou!!!
this is the most intense conversations and reunion i’ve read so far…wonderful…Ilene, if you are reading this, that’s what i as B&T fan want to see in s4 (or the end of s3)..whatever, just give it to us…thanks Merlin, wonderful ending
thanks a lot for this wonderful chapter, i loved it just as much as i loved the first one. and just like when reading ch.1, this time i also felt like crying when i was reading the tibette conversations and then when you switched to alice, i wanted to laugh… you feel the characters so well!.. it was an amazing read, thanks a lot for writing and posting it!
Took me a little less than an hour to read every word…and I AM LEFT SPEECHLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT/WONDERFUL, SUPERB!!!!!!!! looking forward to more of your stories…..hopefully that’ll be soon!!!!!!!
Wow. I enjoyed that! Are you quoting Les Miz in the title??
Astonishing. Absolutely astonishing. If only anything remotely this good played out on the screen. Thank you very much.
INCREDIBLE! This story was amazingly well written. Since ep#7 is on the horizon I think I’ll just skip it and read this again. Wow…
Wow, wow, wow!!!! Did I say WOW!!!!?Thank you for the INCREDIBLE amount of time and thought you put into this. It must have taken a lot out of you! WOW!! Thanks!
Loved the story. Thanks!
WOW..absolutely amazing. The intensity of their inability to communicate with one another and then the sheer abandonment of all hope, trust, need, and love to find each other in the edge of no return. That was overwhelmingly sad and beautiful at the same time. The passion you put into this story is totally amazing. I’m overcome with such emotion and filled from head to toe with hope and love — thank you for sharing this incredible journey.
All I can say is WOW. Your writing is magnificent.
Thanks for taking the time to answer to all your fans….With this chapter you just show more of your wonderful writing…i insist…you have some terrific wonderful writing skill…keep going with more histories….Congratulations.!
AMAZING, my ogd i could feel all the intense emotions running through the writing wow just wow that is one of the best pieces of writing i have been lucky enough to read in hear thank you i hope to see more great
That was great. …like a huge ray of sunshine breaking through dark clouds, accompanied by birds chirping and a chorus of singing and all those fuzzy-wuzzy things… Lovely!
This was so intense, Part of the way I was thinking Good=Bye, and then realize they were talking about the same thing yet were not listen to each other. This is one of the best reunion I have read on the site. Thanks so much for your time energy,and all the effort you put into this thanks
Merlin, simply magical! I am sure that you are as spent as Bette and Tina after writing this story. With words, you have shown what I truly believe and I hope that IC does as well: when two people love each with every fiber and molecule of their being, love can be enough regardless of obstacles.
can you get this to Vancouver ASAP. Damn….we can hope. Thank you.
Intense, insightful, incredible! I enjoyed every heart wrenching scene. Congratulations on a very well written piece! Wish we could expect this much from the show……. Thank you for sharing!
Wow – I just read both parts of this story in one sitting – that was intense! I feel light headed now – I must have held my breath. WOW – great story. Thanks.
That was simply amazeing ..actually thats not even the word to describe what this story is!!! ive got tears in my eyes a lump in my throat and a goddamn hugh smile on my face…and hun thats not easy!!! your words, the emotion,the whole thing has left me in complete awe, i would be a complete romantic and its stories like yours that assure me romance and true love are so worth it Thanks for shareing such a wonderful story and an equally wonderful talent.
that was amazing, i’m still crying and my mouth is still open. You write from the heart and THAT is what makes this story stand out from all the rest. I like so many stories that are on this site, but this one has truly taken my breath away, i could picture it all in my head and it felt like i was standing next to the girls, watching it all unfold.THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND HOPEFULLY WE CAN EXPECT THIS IN S4
TMERLIN, YOU ROCK!!!!
beautifully written thanks for making tibette actually feel something about their relationship. i love the scene in the rain you captured the moment perfectly. honestly, i much prefer some of the fics over the show. it’s a shame they get to make the big bucks when i much rather see this then their dreck.
You are AMAZING and a very intense writer. SUPERB JOB!
Wonderful and awsome!
WOW! Absolutely BRILLIANT!!! That’s intense! Thanks for sharing such an incredible story.
WOW…..that seems to be the word of the day. Merlin, thank you for such a beautiful story. Just as Seahurst commented…..this must have taken a lot out of you. That’s what I kept thinking as I read it. Truly awesome!!!
Thanks for the great read! It was great!