This morning was like every other morning same ol same ol routine. Walk Sam, Shower, coffee at the Planet and then to work. I have gotten to the point that she will never come,That ONE person that I thought would come in to My life and change it for ever. So I have become someone I do not even know any more, I am really getting tired of being alone, I mean here I am a Yale grad with my Bachelor’s in Art Literature, I  am financially well off, even though I did not make all it myself it was given to me in trust funds over the years from my Father. But I have made good use of it, some of it is in  varies charity’s and a foundation I set up to help struggling artists. some in stocks, and art work I have acquirer over the years. I have a great job at a high profile magazine,… well I own 50% of  it but everyone doesn’t know that,  just my closes friends and family. Because how would I ever know if someone would wait me for me and not my money, sometimes I wish I did not have it. I have this great big house which isn’t a home because a home would have a family in it so its just a house. I so would love to have what I did not have growing up. But I find my self at 35 with all this but yet I am empty, theirs a big hole in my heart yet to be filled.

       So I have turned in to this player over the years, of which is a very hard reputation to get out of. some times it’s great… it’s like a drug you cannot give up. Your friends idolize you, and everyone at the bars know me, but I just do not have sex with just anyone and I am selective . I say sex because I do not “sleep” with anyone, not even the Ones whom I dated for short periods of time,  just so I would not have to go looking for a month or so, It’s easier like when I know I will be really busy at work for a couple weeks. that way I can stop by their house on my way home maybe eat dinner with them,  get me a little bit and go home. No stings, but I stop with them just before they get to attached . And you would think for as many women I’ve been with I would have found her by now, but these women aren’t the kind you settle down with, I mean I meet them in a bar for God sakes! …OK  Sam I’m off see you later and no chewing!