Again I’m doing what I do best, I’m waiting. This time I’m not waiting on Ashley to decide that she loves me and that we are meant to be together. No, this time I’m waiting on the right time to tell my mother that I’m gay and I’m in love with my best friend, Ashley. Can I really tell her? I have to. I can’t hide who I am anymore just so my mom wont be upset with me. If I don’t tell her I’ll be living a lie and I cannot do that anymore. I’ve gone way too long doing that and it hurts so much to lie about who I am. So, I have to tell her. I will tell her as soon as she gets home.

            “Hey guys, I’m home.” Okay that was way too soon. She’s not supposed to be home for another thirty minutes at least. When does she ever get home early? The hospital is always busy. “Is anyone her?”

            “Hey mom. How was work?” I watch her put all her stuff down by the door as I walk down the stairs.

            “It was actually really slow today so I got to come home early. That never happens so I think we should make the best of it. Where is everybody?” I need to do this now. It’s now or never. Okay, deep breath.

            “They are all out. Mom, can we talk?”

            “Yes, of course sweet heart. What do you want to talk about?”

            “You might want to sit down for this. Um, uh, you know there are some things you realize as you get older and you understand more about yourself. Well, I’ve noticed some things about myself for quite some time now that I never fully understood or wanted to understand until recently. I finally allowed myself to be honest for the first time in a very long time and it feels wonderful. I don’t want to lie to myself or anyone else about who I am anymore.” I look up at my mom while we are both sitting on the couch next to each other. She’s smiling but she looks really confused. I guess I didn’t really tell her what I wanted to tell her. I need to stop rambling and just come out with it.