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The Weather Report
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The Planet – Alice
Even though every once in awhile I’m proven wrong I can honestly say without fear of argument: Today, the news around me is not good. Helena’s in jail! Shane’s business is toast! Those SheBar freaks? Miami coconut-oiled mobsters! And that’s just my list of pending financial crimes!
However, the many relationship fronts around me are unusually and eerily calm and that naturally means an eruption at any moment. It’s earthquake weather in California and anything can happen.
For weeks now since our trip to New York I’ve watched a battle weary Bette as she waits for Jodie’s certain return. And while she waits I’ve clocked the overly friendly amounts of time she spends with the ever present, always a phone call away, co-Mom of Angelica’s, Tina, who in her free time away from her new bff, Bette, is dating a heart doctor named Brenda, a blonde who is always happy. It’s only a matter of time before Brenda’s verve wears thin on all of us.
While Tina is mostly a balanced person she longs to be needed and is completely unaccustomed to being around cheerful, uncomplicated women who lack the craving for lots and lots of fawning attention. That’s my opinion anyway. Over the years I’ve seen it over and over between her and Bette. As smart as Tina is as a movie executive she completely misreads her romantic situations.
Take now as an example. If Tina had sent Bette signals that weren’t obtuse and riddled with double meanings and escape hatches and tunnels that lead safely to the sea Bette would’ve stopped Tina dead in her tracks, and backwards they would’ve bent in their forever tango, and set themselves on fire again. But she didn’t or couldn’t or wouldn’t and while smoldering may be fun for some it gets very, very old very, very, very fast for me.
And for Bette it appears to have burned straight through and into her spleen. And for Tina, who’s just now starting to miss Bette all over again, I fear she has an endless supply of patience for it, however; she was unusually cross and snappy with me when I got home from my trip with Bette and Shane. And as their High Noon approaches, for whatever Goddamn reasons, Tina can’t or won’t send the final necessary signals, and I’m confused and undecided as Jodie’s arrival date approaches as to why.
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Oh my God, this one cracked me up! I could clearly see the whole thing as if I was there, and when Bette came through the door, the picture of her that you chose is PERFECT! I love angry Tina, she’s hot as hell.
This is, by far, one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read. And seen through Alice’s eyes is even better.
Keep ’em coming!
Loved it. They are getting closer. Bette calling Tina baby.
You never cease to amaze me, lmao!!! ;)
Way to go! Loved this chapter/story! Very amusing.
Hilarious….really vivid…could see entire scene. Thanks
Too funny, had me laughing. Thanks for brightening up my day.
Oh, my God! It was much better than I expected! : D I leaned in laughter.
angry Tina, an oil wrestling, it’s an image that stuck with me ;)
that’s true, the picture of what you have chosen from Bette was perfect, almost I could see in front of myself: Bette as an enraged bull, rush to the bar :D
It was a little weird that Alice was now the “wise friend who has seen the errors of her friends and what they should do. usually she intervened into the lives of everyone.
maybe she press them in the right direction before Jodie back ;)
I very like this and look forward to the next chapter
Hi5> fistbump> Fireworks!!!
Ta da! You did it incredibly well and I’m so proud. I had to hold onto my chair as I was laughing so much with the movie playing in my head. I love that Alice has become wiser and more helpful rather than a hindrance. The underlying current grows in strength.
Thank you for your amazing writing of Behinds the Scenes…..
Hilarious and hot as hell! Thud!!! Way better than Jenny and Nikki in that ring!
Funny,thank you.PPS
An enraged Bette is truly a force of nature especially when her Tina is in danger or in a precarious situation. Like all your fans, I could visualize the scene perfectly. I love how Alice stood aside and held Bette’s jacket while Bette plunged in w/o fists flying. Hilariously exciting! How do you keep surpassing your previous efforts?
Ms. BB, you’ve got some mad skills!
LOL…love the wrestling story…i can’t for the life of me imagine Bette in the wresting ring, knowing her how she is…and Tina is the bomb!! Tina don’t take shit from no one no matter how nice Tina is… she has a hot sexy side!!! I also love the mystery you wrote about Tina’s Background…it more like an investigation background that i enjoyed. funny story love it… keep it coming girl!!!!
Love it bb! ..There is so many scene that is hilarious…I can’t choose which one I laugh the most!
*Applauding* I love your version more than I.C. …And I think this is how it should be, cuz it makes more sense to me? :p…PPS ….<3
I love this! I’m ready for bette to kick some ass lol! You are one of my favorite writers. You have some serious talent.
lolololololololololololololool omg that was sooooo funny I would have paid all the money in the world to have seen that fight shit lmfao….and Tina and Cindy wrestling in blond hair everywhere can you say Hot!!!!!!!!!!!