Ok..I know I took long, but I think this update might have been worth it. I changed the format a little. And I incorporated a song in my fic. My first time ever. I think it works with the theme and trend of the story, but I am sure you guys will let me know. I hope you love this chapter as much as I did writing it….

Thanks for all your comments guys, you it trully does mean alot….ok…so, here is the next chapter….let me know what you think
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“SPENCER”

(Spencer sat on the other side of the door with tears streaming down her pale face. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, arms circling around her knees. Her body was rocking back and forth as sobs racked through her entire thin frame. She looked up at the sky while closing her eyes letting the wind flow over her body.)

Spencer: God…I know I don’t talk to you nearly enough, and that I stopped going to church. But I need your help now because I am so lost. I don’t know what to do. Everything screams at me to rush through those doors and tell her how sorry I am. But it seems all I do is apologize. She had begun to forgive me, and like always I messed it up. I need your guidance, I can’t do this alone. I need someone to be by my. Please, help me find my way back. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be me. Please, help me. God, please.

(Spencer kept praying and praying to God to help her. She was lost. She wondered how her life became like this. If you would have asked her 5 years ago if something like this were probable; she would have laughed in your face and said “hells no.” But now that bright future she thought she had, looked more like an empty wasteland filled with broken hearts and shattered dreams. Her world and everything around her felt like it was disappearing. Everything she worked so hard to create, demolished by a selfish act.)

Spencer: I am sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be. I never meant to hurt you, and it’s all I seemed to do. I promised you I wouldn’t leave, and I was the first one out the door. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, and it was me who drove the knife through your heart. I promised to always be there for you no matter what, and it was me who turned the back on you. I am sorry I ever hurt you. I know it’s too little, too late for that now. But I wanted you to know that. I just wish I were strong enough to tell you that. But I’m a coward. And always will be. It’s easy for me to run, you were right. It always has been. This time made it especially easier because I had no one to stop me. No one to tell me don’t go. No one to show me the way. I just packed my bags and left. Vowing to never return again. And here I am on the door step of my supposedly ex-best friends. Everyone’s life moved on without me. Like I was never even here. Five years changed a lot. Clay had a son, Aiden and Kayla had Caleb and Rayne and even Glen was expected to be a father in December. Everyone was able to move on, why couldn’t I?