EPOV

Three months— three months after I’d left my Bella; three whole months after I’d told my angel the blackest lie possible; three whole months after she believed that I didn’t want her, that I didn’t love her. Why, Bella? Why would you so easily believe the lie, but not the truth? I’d asked her a million times in my head. I didn’t know what to expect when I told her I didn’t want her to come with me, but of all the things she could have said, all of which I was prepared for, she simply accepted it. No questions asked, nothing, she took those hurtful words as though they were a fact, as though she’d seen it coming all along. I was torn, as a part of me sighed in the slightest kind of relief, glad that this would be the quick, clean break that I’d planned for, while the other mourned that the time I had left with Bella was over…that this was it—love, life, meaning—it was all over. You can’t believe me, you don’t believe me! Fight back! Say something…anything! I silently screamed, but I knew I had to leave…for Bella.

I’d promised that it would be the last she saw of me, but I was weak, so weak. After three mere months without her beautiful eyes, her intoxicating scent, her musical laughter, all resolve disappeared into thin air. I left my family in Alaska, ran back to Forks like I’d sworn I wouldn’t. I’d headed straight for Bella’s home unknowingly; I just needed to see my Bella again—I’d make sure she wouldn’t see me. The house I was so familiar with was now in sight; the fading shade of dirty white that coated the apartment, and the wooden steps that lead the way into the house, those steps that Bella had trouble keeping her balance on. Memories of her chocolate brown eyes, her long mahogany hair, her sweet smell of freesias flooded my mind, and before I knew it I was willing myself to go faster.

I darted towards the backyard and launched myself onto the roof, peeping into her open window, only to find nothing but an empty room. My heart sank. I needed to see her, and the desperation was overwhelming me by the second. Then it hit me—Bella had left her window open. Nobody was home, why would she leave her window open? Could she still be waiting for me, for the day I crawl back through her window like the pathetic monster I am and begged her to keep me? Because I knew that day was close…too close for my liking.