I get up and stretch and decide to go shower to wake myself up. I’m off the next few days and all I plan to do is stay up all night watching terrible movies and eating junk food.

—–

Fresh out the shower I hear my house phone ring and make a dash for it.

“Don’t hang up, I’m comin – shiiiit. Mother-bastard. Dam-ughhhh!”

“Ouchy” I roll over onto my back under the table where I rolled after I stubbed my toe on the heavy metal of my dining room chair. After about five minutes of just lying there hoping my toes aren’t broken I get up and check my message from the person who just called. “Ugh. Son of a bitch.” ‘I just almost broke my fucking toes for my ass of a mother calling to remind me to take out her precious Tinka while she’s away. I hate the fucking dog!’

I finally get off the floor and realize I’m still in just my bath robe. I get up and a pain shoots through my foot so I sit in the chair to examine my foot. ‘Not like I really know what too look for but, hey.’ I rub my foot for a minute and stand when my hand lands on some loose paper under a placemat on the table. ‘What’s this?’

It took just a moment but I realized it was a torn page from my Spencer-chronicles. I bent down to the box of things I was looking through the day before and pull out the bound pages.

I wrote everything in that notebook. With the amount and various types of music I had been listening to then all my feelings just poured out of me in bucket loads. I couldn’t just write to write anymore. I was in a zone; poems, songs, you name it, I wrote it and it revolved around one blonde beauty.

‘Flaws and All’, I was feeling nostalgic.

‘I’d Rather Be Alone’, I think that pretty much sums up how I was feeling.

‘Save Room’, I was sad and I needed to express how much I needed her to need me, even if it was just a little bit.

‘Always In My Heart’, I was like drunk off my ass when I wrote this. When I came to the next day I laughed a little at the cursing I used in the lyrics, I try to stay away from using it in my expressions even though I curse like a sailor. After I read what was written seriously I cried like a baby.