Ch 1 the end

“My world is not for you,” he said grimly.

“What happened with Jasper– that was nothing, Edward? Nothing”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “It was actually what was to be expected.”

“You promised! In, Phoenix, you promised that you would stay–”

“As long as that was the best for you,” he interrupted to correct me.

“No! This is about my soul, isn’t it?” I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me. Somehow it still sounded like a plea. “Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you. — It’s yours already.”

He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder– like liquid gold had frozen solid.

“Bella, I don’t want you to come with me.” He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eye on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated those words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

“You…don’t…want me?” I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

“No.”

I stared, uncomprehending…..

And that is where my life ended. At that very moment when he said I wasn’t good for him. Of course I was never good enough for him. I was just plain old Bella and he was oh so perfect Edward. I always knew he would finally realize I wasn’t good enough I was just hoping he wouldn’t realize until he turned me into a vampire. That way when I was a vampire and he actually looked at me, I wouldn’t be plain old Bella anymore I would the new beautiful Bella who deserved Edward. But I guess it’s too late for that thought anymore. Right now I just have to deal with what is happening to me right now and stop looking back at my haunting past.

Senior year is still continuing even though it continues at a snail pace. It’s been 6 months since HE left me. I went to all my classes and got straight A’s. But that wasn’t enough. I want excitement; I want something to make me happy again no matter what the cost was. I had officially decided it was time to get back on the horse. I was going to go to Seattle and go to a club and find myself another boy to distract me from the constant pain that throbbed though my chest every time I tried to breath. That was what my plan was, and I was going to follow through with it at all cost.