I closed my eyes and let her face fill my mind. The problem with seeing her behind my eye lids is that I also saw the pain and anguish I had put her through. I saw her face as I told her I loved her no more – worse – her reaction to it all. Maybe it will help her heal; if she truly believed I didn’t love her anymore maybe she will move on.

A burning pain ripped up my veins and tore through my body. I clenched my teeth at the onslaught of pain. I’m pitiful. So full of nothing but venom and death. I didn’t know how long I lay there. The canopy above me didn’t let much light through but I was sure that the night had returned. The many insects on the floor of the jungle kept their distance from me.

A noise nearby caught my attention and I blinked lazily, dully, like it was nothing more interesting than the wind. It was a Panther, and it was searching for its prey. I remained unmoving and dead on the floor. I was not interested in feeding anymore. I was so sick with pain that my stomach had filled with nothing but remorse and I became revolted by the scent as it walked by. I ignored its presence.

Closing my eyes again I brought her to the forefront of my mind…back to her glorious face. I reached out like she was really there – like I could really touch her. There were tears in her eyes and I went to wipe them away but my hand found nothing but dirt and leaves. I grab a handful up and threw it forcefully across the jungle.

I could suddenly feel a great rage boil up in me. Brutal violence was burning and begging to break free from my body. I stood with force and grabbed the first thing I could find. It was a large rock. Lifting it, I threw it with such force that it went flying at a ferocious velocity – it didn’t knock down any trees, it just went right through them.

I had found my release after all. Anger! Rage! I was absolutely furious that I had ever hurt Bella, the one person on earth that I love more than anything and I broke her. I brought her to the edge of death on more than one occasion. I couldn’t believe I had permitted myself to do such a stupid idiotic thing! I should have left months ago, after James.