“What?”

“Do you remember the first time we ever spoke to one another?”

“Ash, please. How could I forget. When I first caught your eye I was instantly in lo…infatuated.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“I didn’t say love.” I exclaim.

“I know Spence, I just  wondered.”

“I don’t know, I guess I’d like to believe it could happen. But, how likely is it? It’s probably just sexual attraction or something.”

“Right.” She puts her hand on mine as she says “I really wish we’d stayed in contact Spence, even if it was just as friends.”

I’m prevented from answering by Carmen entering the kitchen. Ashley quickly withdraws her hand and I silently curse Carmen for her bad timing. She sidles up next to me. “You must be Spencer?” She offers me her hand, I take it, it’s the polite thing to do.

“And you’d be Carmen.”

“That’s right, Kyla just sent me in here to grab some beers for the group. It appear we’re going to be a little longer than expected.

“Oh” She pulls out enough bottles for everyone and leaves, giving me a wink as she does.

I am so going to kill Kyla.

“She was cute.” It’s a statement but I can see she’s trying to gage my reaction.

“I guess.” I shrug. She smiles, she knows I’m playing it down for her sake. I’m grinning back. There really isn’t anything else you can do when Ashley looks at you like that, nose all crinkled.

“Come on Spence, she’s..” We’re interrupted again, but this time it’s Aiden.

“Hey babe, looks like this one’s going to run later than expected. You don’t have to wait around if you don’t want to?”

“Hey, you know Spence…er, from uni?”

“Erm sure.”

Still in the room people, I may be drunk but not deaf.

“Well if she doesn’t mind, I’ll just keep her company till you’re ready.”

“Sure thing babe.” Urgh he’s now slobbering over her face. I think I might throw up. She rolls her eyes as he leaves.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologise, he’s your boyfriend.” Seriously I think I might throw up.

“If we’re going to be friends Spencer, you need to accept that.” I ignore this and go in with a question.

“Does he know about me?” I’ve surprised her, she wasn’t expecting that.

“Well he knows of you, of the person I was in love with for so long before him”

“Right, but he doesn’t  know it was me.” I state this I don’t need for her to answer so I continue. Biting my lower lip as I take interest in the remains of my bottle. “Does he know it was a girl?” I don’t know why this is important to me.

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not, look, I’m going to take a shower. Help yourself to the beer in the fridge.” I stand and push my stool back. As it scrapes across the tiles on the kitchen floor making an unpleasant noise, I realise I’m acting like a spoilt brat.. I don’t care. Seeing her again has opened up so many old wounds. None of which were even close to being healed.

As I head towards the door, she gently takes my hand in hers. “Spence, please let’s not do this. It’s been so long. I just, I just want to spend some time with you.” I can’t look at her. If I do, I’ll either cry or kiss her, maybe both. “Can you give me that? Can you give me your friendship?”

“You have it Ashley.” I mumble in the direction of the wall as I remove my hand from hers. And when I’m out of earshot I confess. I confess to her that she has me. All of me and she always has.