Title: Those Aren't Sock Puppets!

Rating: T

Summary: Bella has some plans for Edward for one of her favorite holidays, but she has to keep them secret. She enlists Jacob and Carlisle for some boobalicious fun with Edward. What's going on here?

Type: AU; OOC; Canon; Cullens are Vampires, Jacob is werewolf.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. I just grabbed them and drove them crazy for my own entertainment.

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Or for those that are single and hate the holiday, Happy Singles Awareness Day lol. Anyway. Don't ask how I come up with these hella random story ideas. Seriously, they just pop up lol. Yes, I know I should be writing my other stories, but my laptop died on me the other night and since I couldn't remember where I had left off, I started this instead. It was born within the hour. Hope you enjoy my craziness lmao. I promise I'll work on my real stories next. Enjoy.

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BPOV

There is one thing I love about vampires. Having all the time in the world, makes them not care what day it is.

Today is April first and I know exactly what I'm going to do.

I'm getting a boob job…or at least that's what I'm going to tell Edward I did.

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One week ago…

“So, Edward, do these seem small?” I asked him, pushing up my chest from underneath, while I stood sideways, looking into my floor-length mirror.

“E-excuse me?” he stuttered out, trying to look anywhere but at my chest.

“Well…it just seems like if we're going to spend eternity together that you would, you know, want more to play with.” I said, as calmly as I could handle.

“B-but, I—uh, well, what I mean is…Bella, um, you see…” he spluttered out incoherently, looking all cute and bothered with his furrowed brow and frowning at the mention of my inevitable change.

I decided to help put him out of his misery for the moment.

“It's okay. I know exactly what you're trying to say. You love me for me, right?” I said, turning to look at him, avoiding his gaze so that I would not mess up my mission.