“Spence? Are you okay?” Ashley is sitting in the driver’s seat of her car staring at me with a worried look on her face. When did we get back to her house? I’ve been zoned out this whole car ride. She probably thinks I’m mad at her or something.

            “Yea. I’m okay, just lost in my thoughts.” I try to smile at her but it falters when a tear escapes and runs down my cheek. Before I could wipe it away Ashley had reached over and wiped it away with her thumb and then kissed my cheek gently where the tear had just been.

            “What are you thinking about?” The look in her eyes and the way she sounds breaks my heart because she is so worried about me.

            “I was thinking about the way I was back in Ohio and how my mother is going to react when I tell her that I’m gay. I’m ashamed of the person I used to be. I wish I could go back and change it but I can’t and I just don’t know how I could be like that when I was what I acted like I hated so much. I was so messed up and angry. I said things I’m not proud of and now it’s only going to make it harder for me to tell my mom because all of that is going to be thrown into my face. She will think I’m just being stupid and that it’s a phase and that I’m just desperate for someone to love me. She’s right that I’m desperate to be loved but I want someone to love me for who I am and not who I pretend to be so people will like me. I was so fake and now I don’t know how to take off that mask for my mom to see who I am inside.” At this point I am in Ashley’s arms crying and shaking. I had just spilled everything out in a short amount of time and she had no idea that was coming. I feel bad for laying it all on her like that after we just had a wonderful day together.