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What Happens Next – (Chapter: 32: Operation A.S.S. – Full Throttle)
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Ashley looked down the manila folder marked TOP SECRET with a large red butt drawn on the cover, she sighed heavily opening it, then her eyes widened, “Holy Shit are these satellite photos?!” Tristan nodded, smirking, “Yep, it’s amazing what you can find on the Internet!” Tristan stood directly in front of Ashley her posture straightening. She cleared her throat loudly, her voice becoming deeper, “Pay attention solider! I would like to direct your attention to our mission objectives.” Ashley turned the page looking for the proper heading, she frowned slightly, reading.
OPERATION Acquisition of Spencer Carlin and Samantha Montgomery
OPERATION CODENAME: A.S.S.
MISSION COMMANDER: Tristan Miller A.K.A Maverick
PARTICIPANTS: Ashley Davies A.K.A Gonzo, Tristan Miller A.K.A Maverick
MISSION DURATION: 1200hrs-0500hrs
MISSION BASE CAMP: Mobile Unit Alpha (2002 Green Dodge Caravan) A.K.A “The Beast”
Ashley looked up confused, “What the hell? Why is my codename Gonzo?” Tristan rolled her eyes, sighing, “Dude, you’re small, brown and you run…figure it out!” Ashley scowled and flipped Tristan off then continued to read.
MISSION OBJECTIVE(S): To secure two targets, one Ms. Spencer Carlin and two Ms. Samantha Montgomery unharmed, avoiding detection by parental units and attack dog(s). These targets shall be taken to Griffith Park where they are to be “interrogated” inside of Mobile Unit Alpha. Permission has been granted for full use of standard military protocols up to and including full body cavity searches and the application of water-based lubricants.
Phase 1: Extraction of Target One – Spencer Carlin
Ashley shook her head while she flipped through several pictures of Spencer. She looked at the blurry photo of Spencer taking books out of her locker, her eyes widening, “Dude, when did you take these?” Tristan blushed slightly, clearly her throat, “That’s not important! What is important is this mission!” Ashley eyed Tristan suspiciously before looking back down at Spencer’s statistics.
NAME: Spencer Carlin
HAIR: Blonde
SEX: Female (Unverified)
EYE COLOR: Blue
WEIGHT: 110lbs (Unverified)
HEIGHT: 5.2’ (Unverified)
CUP SIZE: ???
LIKES: Stuffed Bears, Rainbows, Unicorns, Cherry Lollipops
DISLIKES: Madison Duarte (See File Number AHF126 for more information)
HOBBIES: Shopping, Baking Brownies
CURRENT LOCATION: Carlin Residence, Second Story, Rear Bedroom
PARENTAL UNITS: 1
ATTACK DOGS: 0
LOCATION ASSESSMENT: Target location is standard residential unit consisting of two stories. Target location is unguarded and no external reinforcements exist to hinder team advancement. Mission participants will extract target though rear window utilizing QuickStep Boarding LadderTM and grappling hook.
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lmao…ok so i havent even read the story yet…Mall…omg that was so fucking funny…lmao…omg i cant stop laughing…lol…sorry..personally i would have taken advantage of her enthusiasm….lol…dressing rooms are kinda hot….lmao..omg that shit is HILARIOUS! ok im gonna go read your story now : )
trism…i feel your pain as far as the mall stuff goes. i have some ultra femme friends who love to drag little ole butch me to the mall and dress me up. Your story is fantastic btw.
ok so now im having trouble deciding which part of your story was the best….lmao…you are the absolute funniest writer I’ve known…lol…I got yelled at by Parental Unit #1…aka Mom for laughing so loudly….lol…omg I love this story…lol…i still cant believe how funny it really is….post more soon!
LMAO. that was tooooo funny. I love this fic. keep up the great work.
this one takes the cake!. I am still f…ing laughing. Priceless! I love your writing. I can’t wait for the next chapter…it should be a real hoot!
I heart Tristan! She reminds me of one of those characters in the funny army movies like “In the Army Now” or something like that. I really hope they can pull the missions off without getting caught. Let me just reiterate my love for this story…I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY and adore its writer!
I loved this story…to the dreaded M…place. Oh, do I know it well…oh, my heart ached for you…yeah, the story was awesome. I just love Tristan. Went running today (wasn’t reaching my ultamite goal, but thought of Ash and pushed harder)it turned out to be an awesome run in the end. I loved this…fic, please post soon…cheers mate.
OMG…I’m so happy to find someone else that hates the fuckin’ mall as much as I do! I love this story. Hope the mission is a success so that we can have some Splashly lovin’.
great post just like the others. The Mall that’s great. You all are going to hate me. I love the mall kinda. well I know what I want when I go there.
*clears throat* I have a several things to say. A) I like german metal. B) I’m glad you’ve liked the music and have taken the time to go out and listen to it. C) Combat baby is fabulous. I’m fabulous, too. No. I’m kidding about that last part. D) I hate Chili’s too. E) I bet your gf and I could be best friends. I love torturing my gilrfriends by taking them to the mall and forcing them to try on crap and watching the salespeople giggle. F) I’m sure my ex-gf broke up with me because of that. Hahaha. G) This story is effing amazing and I just laughed my lack of ass off. What comes after G…right. H) I’m pretty sure Ashley should scratch off Unverified under Spencer’s gender. I) Tritsan’s girl sounds hot. And I wanna do her. And she’s not even real. J) Arthur and Zadie should go have sex while Spence and Ashley get it on. Yes. K) Post more soon because this is insane. L) I’m stopping at L because I’m almost halfway through the alphabet. Good day :)
Hilarious!!!! I specially like the Christine and Tristan part, and Christine torture of Tristan…that was amazing. The way Christine is turning out I would do her too…. Way to go and keep up the awesome work. Enjoy…on to the next chapter….
lmao…ok so i havent even read the story yet…Mall…omg that was so fucking funny…lmao…omg i cant stop laughing…lol…sorry..personally i would have taken advantage of her enthusiasm….lol…dressing rooms are kinda hot….lmao..omg that shit is HILARIOUS! ok im gonna go read your story now : )
trism…i feel your pain as far as the mall stuff goes. i have some ultra femme friends who love to drag little ole butch me to the mall and dress me up. Your story is fantastic btw.
ok so now im having trouble deciding which part of your story was the best….lmao…you are the absolute funniest writer I’ve known…lol…I got yelled at by Parental Unit #1…aka Mom for laughing so loudly….lol…omg I love this story…lol…i still cant believe how funny it really is….post more soon!
LMAO. that was tooooo funny. I love this fic. keep up the great work.
this one takes the cake!. I am still f…ing laughing. Priceless! I love your writing. I can’t wait for the next chapter…it should be a real hoot!
I heart Tristan! She reminds me of one of those characters in the funny army movies like “In the Army Now” or something like that. I really hope they can pull the missions off without getting caught. Let me just reiterate my love for this story…I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY and adore its writer!
I loved this story…to the dreaded M…place. Oh, do I know it well…oh, my heart ached for you…yeah, the story was awesome. I just love Tristan. Went running today (wasn’t reaching my ultamite goal, but thought of Ash and pushed harder)it turned out to be an awesome run in the end. I loved this…fic, please post soon…cheers mate.
OMG…I’m so happy to find someone else that hates the fuckin’ mall as much as I do! I love this story. Hope the mission is a success so that we can have some Splashly lovin’.
great post just like the others. The Mall that’s great. You all are going to hate me. I love the mall kinda. well I know what I want when I go there.
*clears throat* I have a several things to say. A) I like german metal. B) I’m glad you’ve liked the music and have taken the time to go out and listen to it. C) Combat baby is fabulous. I’m fabulous, too. No. I’m kidding about that last part. D) I hate Chili’s too. E) I bet your gf and I could be best friends. I love torturing my gilrfriends by taking them to the mall and forcing them to try on crap and watching the salespeople giggle. F) I’m sure my ex-gf broke up with me because of that. Hahaha. G) This story is effing amazing and I just laughed my lack of ass off. What comes after G…right. H) I’m pretty sure Ashley should scratch off Unverified under Spencer’s gender. I) Tritsan’s girl sounds hot. And I wanna do her. And she’s not even real. J) Arthur and Zadie should go have sex while Spence and Ashley get it on. Yes. K) Post more soon because this is insane. L) I’m stopping at L because I’m almost halfway through the alphabet. Good day :)
Hilarious!!!! I specially like the Christine and Tristan part, and Christine torture of Tristan…that was amazing. The way Christine is turning out I would do her too…. Way to go and keep up the awesome work. Enjoy…on to the next chapter….
You are such a funny writer. You should put a warning on your stories that say ” Do not read while drinking liquid of any kind!” I laughed so hard that I choked on my soda. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK, BABY!! PLEASE POST VERY, VERY SOON!?!
You are such a funny writer. You should put a warning on your stories that say ” Do not read while drinking liquid of any kind!” I laughed so hard that I choked on my soda. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK, BABY!! PLEASE POST VERY, VERY SOON!?!
Loved it!! I can’t wait to see what happens next in operation “A.S.S.” Please don’t make me wait too long.The mall story was too funny, you have gift for writting!
Loved it!! I can’t wait to see what happens next in operation “A.S.S.” Please don’t make me wait too long.The mall story was too funny, you have gift for writting!
I don’t know what’s funier, the story or your comment. Well done for sticking out going to the mall for your girl and well done on your writing! Question: Does your g/f know her torture treatments are on the internet?!
I don’t know what’s funier, the story or your comment. Well done for sticking out going to the mall for your girl and well done on your writing! Question: Does your g/f know her torture treatments are on the internet?!
Here’s the thing, at this exact moment I hate myself for missing this story. I don’t do drugs, expensive or cheap, so what’s my excuse? I do martial arts so perhaps I was kicked in my head. Nonetheless, I’ve found the story and I love it! I was dying of laughter. As for the mall, it’s better that you’re girlfriend used the M word as opposed to the dreaded, “We need to talk” statement…for me that’s usually followed by the F word. Please post soon!
MALL=HELL!! LOL…too fucking funny love!! I know how you feel…haha…my ex-gf loved the mall. As for your story, TOTALLY LOVE IT!! Haha, too hilarious. Please do update soon so we can find out if Maverick & Gonzo are successful in their mission…muahahaha! Keep up the good work hon;)
Here’s the thing, at this exact moment I hate myself for missing this story. I don’t do drugs, expensive or cheap, so what’s my excuse? I do martial arts so perhaps I was kicked in my head. Nonetheless, I’ve found the story and I love it! I was dying of laughter. As for the mall, it’s better that you’re girlfriend used the M word as opposed to the dreaded, “We need to talk” statement…for me that’s usually followed by the F word. Please post soon!
MALL=HELL!! LOL…too fucking funny love!! I know how you feel…haha…my ex-gf loved the mall. As for your story, TOTALLY LOVE IT!! Haha, too hilarious. Please do update soon so we can find out if Maverick & Gonzo are successful in their mission…muahahaha! Keep up the good work hon;)