Kyl: "Hey, I thought you were leaving."
Ash: "I’m going to be here for a little while longer. I ordered some Chinese."
Kyl: "Not that I don’t want you here, but why the change of heart?"

I went to join her on the couch, but the doorbell rang. I pulled my wallet out of my purse and walked over to greet the Chinese delivery guy.

Chinese guy: “Your total is $32.87.”

I handed him two twenties and relieved him of the two large bags of food.

Ash: “Keep the change.”

He smiled at me and thanked me. I tried my best to return the smile, but it wasn’t a real smile. It wasn’t the kind of smile I used to have. A real, genuine smile.

I sat the two bags on the large, square coffee table in front of the couch and sat beside my sister.

Kyla: “Geez, Ashley. Hungry much?”
Ash: “I knew I wasn’t the only one eating.”

I poked her stomach and reached for one bag.

Ash: “Besides, I like variety.”

Kyla and I ate out of the same container with our chop sticks. Everything was quiet for a few minutes before Kyla stopped eating and looked at me.

Ash: “yes?”
Kyla: “You were going to say something before the doorbell rang?”

I looked down and let out a soft sigh.

Ash: “Yeah.”

It was hard to talk about, but Kyla was my sister. She needed to know. She was all I had in this world. I spent the next ten minutes filling her in and finishing my food. Her jaw dropped when I told her who the injured fan was. She looked so sad. Kyla loved Spencer too. I could tell it hurt her to know Spencer was unconscious in a hospital.

Kyla: “What are you planning on doing now?”
Ash: “I want to stay here until there is a change in her health. I can’t just leave with her like this. I love her. I feel like this is all my fault.”
Kyla: “I agree with you staying here, but this is in no way your fault.”
Ashley: “If I read the contract properly she wouldn’t have broken up with me. If she hadn’t broken up with me she wouldn’t have been injured at the show. If I hadn’t played that song then the crowd wouldn’t have been going crazy and they wouldn’t have hurt her.”
Kyla: “That is an awful lot of “ifs” you had there. You can‘t control those things Ash.”
Ash: “I know, but that doesn’t erase the guilt.”

I stood up and grabbed my car keys.

Kyla: “Where are you going?”
Ash: “Going to talk to Spencer.”

Kyla stood up and walked over to me.

Kyla: “I’m coming too. I don’t want you there all alone.”

I love my little sister. She really was the best.