“There’s no need to rush just start when you feel ready” I nodded as Spencer continued to place light kisses behind my ear. I could feel my whole body being rocked by mini quakes as I tried my best to get my erratic breathing under control. The tighting in my chest was making it hard for me to breath but I knew I had to do this or it would never get better.

“Ok…Ok…where to start” I was telling my body to breath but I don’t think it was responding to me. Just deep breaths in and out here goes.

“Well….first of all I guess it would be best to explain that Christine is not our birth mother. I mean don’t get me wrong Aiden and I both love her to death  now and consider her to be our  mother but she didn’t give birth to us.”

“So where is your real mother then?”  I could feel the tears already making their way down my face but I didn’t move to stop them. It was time to let my tears fall and hopefully release some of the sorrow I felt in my heart.

“She passed away when we were like seven years old” Spencer’s grip got a little bit tighter around my waist as I lend all of my weight back into her.

“I am so sorry to hear that Ash, I’m sure you miss her”

“There’s no need to be sorry it’s not like it was your fault maybe mine but not yours. I do miss her like crazy though but what hurts the most is that I can barely remember her face.” I felt the sob making its way free of my body before I heard it, I couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“Don’t you have pictures of her? and I’m sure it’s not your fault either” Spencer reached up to wipe my tears away but I stop her wrist and put it back down. I think she understood because she didn’t try to do it again.

“No I don’t, my father got rid of every last picture we had of her in the house. He even found the one I rid in my pillow case when I was like nine.”

“That’s horrible why would he do that?”