Tina
went over to her side and pulled up a chair to sit with her.  Tina was so tired. She rubbed Bette’s arm and
her forehead and said her name a few times and got zero response. Dr. Miller
came in to begin the blood transfusion and explained to Tina it would last a
few hours into the night. Tina asked for some hospital scrubs and once they
arrived she changed into them and gave Bette a kiss goodnight and went to the
narrow window bed to try to grab a couple of hours of sleep.

Nurses
came in and out during the night and several times Tina got up and checked on
Bette and saw that she slept soundly throughout the night despite what was
being done to her.  In the early morning,
Tina got up and checked again on Bette who was still sleeping.  A nurse came in and Tina inquired about when
she would wake up.  The nurse explained
that she would be more awake during the day, but was still on some heavy duty
pain medication.  Tina decided to go to
the cafeteria and try to grab something to do that she could eat to give
herself some fuel for the day.

Tina
visited the hospital cafeteria that felt more like a family restaurant to her
after her multiple stays at the facility. 
She sat at the table and ate a modest breakfast.  After her meal, she just sat and looked at
Bette and waited.  After a few minutes
she decided to move closer to Bette so she pulled a chair up to the hospital
bed.  She was pondering how she was going
to tell Bette about the baby.  Then she
was pondering how she felt about that and she felt relieved.  Having those feelings were leading her to
feeling guilty.  Was it wrong to be
relieved about this? She wondered…

Tina
was holding Bette’s hand and looking her over from head to toe. She realized
that Bette looked really thin and it was obvious that all that she had been
through had taken its toll on her body. 
Bette began to wake slightly, snapping Tina out of her thoughts.  

Bette
opened her eyes gradually, fluttering them as the room was not exactly in
focus.  She felt like she was dreaming
and was not sure where she was. She tried to focus, but it wasn’t working. She
was really tired and it was taking all the energy that she had to glimpse
around the room. 

Tina
was talking to her and asking her questions, but she couldn’t really
concentrate on any of that, she was too tired.

Tina
said “Bette? Can you hear me? Bette? Do you know where you are? Bette, I am
here with you we are in the hospital. Are you ok?”

Bette
squinted and said “Tina? Are you floating?”

Tina
chuckled and realized that Bette was a lot more doped up on pain medication
than she thought. She would have to wait it out to have a serious talk with her
about the loss of the baby. Clearly, she was not capable of that sort of
conversation right now. Tina wondered how Bette was going to react to the news
of the baby.  She usually could gauge how
Bette was going to react, but she felt really unsure about this time. Tina
tucked her anxiety and feelings about the loss of the baby to the back of her
head to just focus on  Bette right
now.