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The room filled with a clean warm light, no clothes on the floor, the bed made and I feel her presence linger in the air. All I can see when I look at the bed is her lying there, her hair splayed across the pillow, her hand next to her face, her naked body covered just enough by the blanket. I can smell her perfume on the pillow still, and her face haunts me, she wasn’t sitting there when I walked out of the office. They said she left, that she staying at Jenny’s and I can’t follow her, not right now. I have never been more tired in my life; my eyes burn for sleep, every move I make is sluggish. Each step like lead, and I can’t sleep here not with the thoughts of her swimming in my head. I have to think of how to make this better, what the fuck did I get us into?

Looking at the bed, and I can’t sleep in this bed without her. Taking my jacket off, my shoes left in a trail behind me, as I walk down the stairs. The quiet of the house deafening, I am alone with my thoughts that are all about her, her eyes, her lips. Stumbling to the stereo just wanting to drown the thoughts of her out of my head, to just sleep. Not caring what the hell is in there, I just press play wanting to fall into a dark nothing that makes sense of it all.

The pounding beat from the drum, that low steady voice of the man in black coming from the stereo, singing of sin and pain. The couch hard and uncomfortable, the thick warmth of the unconscious mind, my aching muscles relaxing and I fall into a world where none of this is happening. Instead I am sitting in the hot sand, the smell of salt in the air the sound of crashing waves and her pinkie brushing against my hand. The dark of the night cast in a milky white shadow from the moon, where we do nothing but sit quiet letting the silence say what we can’t. Her hair curled behind her ear, a silver earring dangling from it she smiles so faint turning to look at me. The white foam of the water mixing with the sand, and I can’t help but turn back to her. My fingers digging deep into the earth that sweet cloud of her perfume, a flower that I have never seen before, clouding my senses. Her breath flowing around me and her lips so close, waiting for her to kiss me to feel that tongue against mine, to taste her mouth. Falling asleep next to her in the sand, and it all makes sense, I know what I have to do.