Previously

“No…I don’t think so…” Bette answered preparing the gratin potatoes with parmesan cheese.

“It’s for you, baby sis…” is all Kit said.

“What? I´m not expecting anyone”  She turned to look to Kit and she saw Jodi walking straight ahead to meet her.

She said hi to everybody and turned to Bette.

I forgot today was family day…” She sighed. “I thought that we could pass some time alone, relaxing a while. I guess I was wrong… I need that Thai massage soooo much… I worked so hard today…How are you doing, honey?”

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Bette didn’t know what to say or do. She felt Jodi’s hands on her waist, her kisses on her neck. Her lips sealing a pact, her tongue asking permission to get inside. Bette didn’t move, but subtly returned the kiss.

“I didn’t expect to see you here today.” Bette managed to say.

“Hmm…So I’m not welcomed?” Jodi signed back and moved herself.

“No…No… I mean…” Bette was confused. “Sure, you’re welcome, but I was not expecting you here today. That’s all.”

“So, tell me who your guests are tonight?” Jodi felt Bette’s discomfort.

“Kit, Angus, Alice and Shane, you and also, Tina and Angie.”

That last names didn’t sound right to Jodi. But she didn’t say anything; she kept looking to the window.

“Can I drink something?” she asked softly.

“Sure…please serve yourself, Jod.”  Bette’s mind was racing.

Jodi took some whiskey and came back to the kitchen, standing closer to Bette. Her hand began to run from the south to the north of Bette’s back. “I miss you, Bette.”

Bette couldn’t move. She enjoyed Jodi’s touches. She liked Jodi. She was helping her to get out of the random of empty days and nights that her life became. She felt freed from pain when she was in her arms. She felt desired. She felt she didn’t have to give any kind of satisfaction. Jodi was good to her, made her feel not a half.  But, she knew that Jodi will never make her feel whole, all,  and at this thought, once again she couldn’t stop thinking about Tina.

Bette had to admit that she thought about Tina with much more frequency than she really desired. Well, desired is not the best choice to describe the situation. Since they decided to have another kind of relationship, trying to forget about their differences to think about what Angie needs, everything was easier. They could talk, instead of shout. But this proximity immersed Bette, sometimes, in a sadness that she couldn’t handle. Their separation was too traumatic, but their love was too deep to leave Bette’s soul relieved from the memories, freed from the desire..