Bette : Looking around, realizing what Tina said was that WE should go to bed. Oh.
Tina : Bette, what is it, are you not happy with the things we talked about tonight ?
Bette : no, no, no thats not it. Tina raises an eyebrow as if to say what is it. I, uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Goodnight Tina.
Tina : Oh, uh, goodnight Bette.

Bettes night
I layed on the couch looking out the windows that ran almost floor to ceiling, looking out into the dark expanse of the ocean and the never ending sky, wondering if that was what it was going to be like for us, never ending, the pain that is. Will we ever just be happy again ? I did the best I could tonight, in terms of honesty with Tina. I didnt lie, I didnt bend the truth and I tried to listen and not to get angry. Of course we didnt talk about the real issues, just the peripheral ones. There are things I dont understand but they dont seem important now. Tomorrow will be harder and there will be days that are harder again. Am I really ready ? Why am I questioning that, isnt what I have been working towards, getting me right to help us get right. I pull out the letter I wrote to myself which seems so long ago. Everything seems so surreal. I start reading it and remember the pain on the day I wrote it. I turn over on the couch and watch the stars, chuckling ironically because that is what I did on the night I wrote the letter, watch the stars and let the tears silently fall. I dont know how long I have been laying there for and eventually I decide to get up. I pace around for a bit in the dark. I do what I have done for most of the nights I was here on my own. I grab a blanket and head for the beach. It is only meters away and Tina must be asleep now. If I am quiet she wont hear me. I quietly shut the front door behind me. I sit outside with my glass of wine and a cigarette and do not much in truth, just watch the stars. A few silent tears fall. Eventually I must have fallen asleep because I woke to the brightest sunrise I had seen since I had been here. The sun rises and sun sets have always been magical here but this was magnificent. It mild temperature wise but the vivid red rose from the horizon and contrasted the blue that seemed to endlessly rise. I was wrapped in my blanket. I sat out and watched the sun rise. It had to be better than the couch. I decide to make my way in. Just before opening the door I take a big sigh, thinking this day is pivotal, maybe it wont decide everything but it will give us both the direction we need. Could I smell coffee ?