Labyrinth of Emotions – 02.04 – Moving


            Sam peddled the bike as the nurse at the rehabilitation center watched her, monitoring her new heart beating on the monitor. Sam kept glancing over at the monitor, she was very happy with how she was recovering. She let a small smile grace her full lips. It’s a kind of magic, she was sure Jo would say. What had the FBI agent done to her? She was recovering at three times the rate she should have been, not that she was complaining, she just felt listless all the time. The episode in Alex‘s room clung to her she had been dreaming of dark occurrences constantly and it was taking its toll on her.

            “Sam I have to tell you, you are way above the curve. Another few weeks and I’m sure that you’ll be cleared to drive and start living your life again. I hear you have a very sexy girlfriend? Perhaps that will be your extra cardiovascular work out.” Her name was Suzie, and Sam cast her a glance the suggestive tone not lost on Samantha. Sam said nothing at first, concentrating on peddling the bike, she had no sexual inclinations at all towards anyone, the effort to flirt was just to much. She sighed in her head, before all of this she’d wanted Lara so badly that sometime she ached. Since being back from the island it was hard to even think of her in that way. She knew that she cared for Lara, but now those feeling were buried somewhere where Sam couldn’t access them.

            “Work, I want to go back to work.” Sam grunted peddling a bit faster, seeing her pulse rate jump too quickly and she slowed down again. Her legs not straining as of yet, and Suzie cocked a sculpted eyebrow and said.

            “They did tell you, it might be up to a year before you can work again, didn’t they?” Suzie asked and Sam let another small grin grace her lips. She then snorted, she knew it wasn’t going to take her a year to get back to work, there was no way in hell. She just wished that she could feel something more than anxiety about all of this, but she couldn’t.

            “They are not me, are they? I’ve never actually met ‘they’ as a collective, so ‘they’ and I are not on good terms. I am going back to work in 6 months, tops. If I don’t, I shall be insane by then. How about we crank this puppy up and see if we can give me a heart attack?” Sam joked and Suzie reached over, turning the tension on the bike up and Sam pressed into the incline. A look of sheer determination covered her face.

            “Much better.” Sam said feeling the sweat pouring from her now she concentrated on her breathing and after about 10 minutes Suzie turned the bike down and she was now in the cool down cycle. Sam leaned back feeling all the muscles in her body tensing as she was over worked.

            “You are the most stubborn determined woman I’ve ever met.” Suzie muttered taking notes on Sam‘s vitals. Sam leaned over, looking at the vitals and was impressed, for a killer Crystal had a good heart.

            “You’ve never met my girlfriend.” Sam said as she leaned back into the seat and rubbed her eyes. She popped them opened and still nothing from the deep vast expanse of her soul.

*****

            Lara paced the bedroom as she was deciding if she should tell Sam about what had happened between her and Dana. What had happened? Really?

            “Dana?” Lara asked and she walked up to Dana and touched her shoulders gently and Dana looked up at her with wide eyes and met her gaze, something electric passed between them. Dana reached up grabbing Lara and kissing her as hard as she’d ever kissed someone before in her life.

            “Dana!” Lara almost yelled as she pulled back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her eyes wide in surprise. What the hell had gotten into Dana?

            “What isn’t that why you came to bust up my wedding?” Dana asked moving to Lara again seductive as Lara had never seen her before.

            “No, I mean yes. But, well what about Alice? Sam? Dana, we cannot do this.” Lara said putting her hand on Dana’s shoulder, but Dana brushed it off and she pulled Lara into a kiss roughly. Lara peddled back again, shaking her head, feeling for the tennis player flooded forth, and she fought them back.

            “Dana, I can’t….” Dana‘s eyes were hurt but her body was tense and filled with sexual desire. Lara so wanted to plant another kiss on her, but she couldn’t bring herself to betray Sam that way. She moved closer, fighting that urge, closing her eyes to the sight of a very sexy Dana moving against her.

            “Why? Because of Alice and Sam? Is that why?” Dana asked, hurt as she began to walk away from Lara, and Lara stood, watching her go. She could have chased her, but she’d done that once before, chased Dana Fairbanks. Where had it led her? To an island in the middle of no where to Sam Vance, so she decided to not bother this time. Instead she’d go straight to Sam.

            Lara sat down on the bed when she heard a door slamming shut in the driveway, she got up, gathering herself and ran down the stairs and pulled the door open just as Shane was about to knock on the door.

            “Hey Lara.” Shane said and Lara‘s face fell. Shane saw the look and put her hand on the door jamb, leaning there. She looked at the shirt that Lara was wearing, and had to laugh, it read I Want To See You Check Me Out.

            “Hey, I know I’m not who you might have been expecting. I came by cuz Sam called me this morning, and asked if I’d come by. I don’t know why but you know Sam. Never know what she has up her sleeve huh?” Lara nodded and let Shane into the house, and Shane marveled yet again at the house. It was huge, and Sam didn’t seem like the person who’d live in a house like this, yet every room had something unique and very Sam like.

            “She’s at rehab she should be home any minute…” Lara drifted away, and Shane gave her a look of reproach, and Lara waved her to the couch. Shane moved over to the couch, sitting on it and leaning into the soft cushions of the couch, nice real leather.

            “Yeah, I didn’t know what time she’d be here, Lara man are you ok?” Shane asked and Lara shook her head, licking her lips as she did. She plopped down next to Shane, about to unburden her soul, then thought why the hell not Shane always seemed like she could handle the truth and keep a secret.

            “No. I saw Dana today and she kissed me… I thought I was over her, but…” Lara sighed again, and Shane understood, that path not followed thing; fucking emotions were bastards. She hated them, was glad that hers were dead an buried. She saw the pain that Lara was in and felt for the woman; she really did care about Sam.

            “You gonna tell Sam?” Shane asked and Lara nodded yes and Shane thought she was a really brave woman. She couldn’t hide the truth from her, but her health, even though it was better wasn’t perfect. Shane bit her lip as she watched Lara think things over. If she hadn’t been in so much turmoil, Shane might have made a move because she never really looked at Lara before. Now that she was, she was fucking hot, sexiest set of lips she’d seen on a woman in a long time.

            “Look man, I’m gonna go cuz I don’t wanna be here when the fit hits the shan.” Shane joked and Lara grabbed her hand, eyes pleading.

            “No, there was a reason that Sami wanted you here, so stay I can talk to her later.” Lara said, begging Shane to stay. “Hey, come on and take a swim with me? Will get my mind off things.” Lara asked, and Shane shrugged,

            “Sure.” Shane said, understanding why she didn’t want to be alone right now.

            “You can stay for dinner too, I’m sure Sam would like that.” Lara invited, and she turned and smiled at Shane, who grinned back, nodding a bit.

            “All right man that would be cool.” Shane said, thinking she too, would enjoy that.

*****

            “This year might be nice?” Alex said sarcastically as the nurse came back and told her that the doctor would be by within the hour.

            “Ok, look. Get this fucking tube out of me. Now!” Alex yelled her patience running thin. She didn’t want to be here a moment longer, and she had ants in her pants for the lack of a better analogy. It had been a full 24 hours she’d been awake everyone had come to visit her. Everyone except Bette Porter who was in a lock down psychiatric facility. This stunned her; she did understand why she’d gone there, to escape.

            “Miss Pezinni, please….” The nurse pleaded and Alice came waltzing in and gave Alex a stern gaze. Hands on her hips looking radiant and Alex had to grin at the look on Al‘s face.

            “Alex, cut it out. You have a few days left of being in here, chill out. Enjoy the view.” Alice said, checking out the sexy nurse that had been trying to calm Alex down.

            “Alice, I really want out of here, and this fucking tube! I’m eating for fuck’s sake! Why do I need IT! Because some doctor, whom I’ve never met by the way, says so? I’ll yank it out. I fucking swear I will. Alice get me my gun? My badge, a lawyer! Something or someone!” Ranted the bed ridden detective looking disheveled and desperate to get moving, move and they can’t catch ya she’d always said.

            “Miss P…”

            “Detective Pezinni, I fuckin’ worked hard for that title, now go get that freaking doctor. Now! Before I find a gun, and go all postal on your ass!” Commanded Alex and Alice sat down and kept staring at her hard. Finally Alex calmed down, the nurse banging the door shut and Alex grunted loudly.

            “Alex, come on that wasn’t fair. You are taking your rage out on the poor nurse, it’s not her fault. You’ve been out of it for almost 2 months….” Alice began, leaning back into the chair and staring at Alex.

            “Exactly! Two fucking months Alice, no one will tell me what went on, I don’t remember and no one will tell me. I gotta get out there and find out, I remember bits and pieces and I want the whole story Al.  Sam has her heart and I want to know what else happened!” Alex growled and Alice knelt and pulled out Alex‘s laptop that Vanessa had given to her. She slid it onto the table and Alex pushed the table away, she wanted nothing to do with writing. She knew what Alice was trying to do and it wasn’t going to work.

            “Look, you are going to be in here for at least another day or three. They will take the tube out, but you have to stay another day at the very least. Alex, your sister is really worried about this temper of yours. You are blowing up at everyone and everything. Please let us in so we can help you deal.” Alice begged touching Alex‘s hand but the detective pulled it away as if she’d been burned and Alice sat back down. She sighed and wondered what it was going to take to get Alex to connect to the world again.

            “You let me touch you at the CAC; you know I won’t hurt you. Nessa told me you don’t remember everything that happened in New York. What do you remember?” Alice asked, and Alex‘s jaw was set she leaned back into the bed, finally relaxing a bit. She sighed and closed her eyes. Falling back into the fog of her shattered memories, they came to her in jumbled flashes and Alex spoke softly.

            “I remember putting Bette into the tub, I remember miscounting the rounds and getting shot, it’s all blurry. Like I’m in a fog when I’m remembering, at first I wasn’t even sure it was Bette there. I thought it was Tina, then you. Jo maybe.”

            “We were there we are the ones that got Jo out of her watery grave. I don’t know how she survived, but her wrists were slashed, when we got upstairs she was at your side. She was taking the gun you’d used out of your hand and checking your pulse. Bette was sitting at the door of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, shaking and scared. Jo was checking to see if the second wound was fatal, but it barely grazed your leg. Bette ran away from us, she locked herself in the bathroom and it took a while to get her out. She’d only came out when the room was clear and Jo was there. She flew back to LA with Jo in Sam‘s jet. She never left Jo‘s side, even at the hospital and wouldn’t talk to any of us.” Alice recited, as if she’d said this 1000 times already, and she more than likely had.

            “So I shot Crystal?” Alex asked confused, and Alice nodded, handing her the article that she’d written. Alex‘s clear eyes darted over the pages, not really reading. Picking out the information that she wanted and thinking it was a rather good article to begin with.

            “I’ll… I’ll look at it later.” Alex said, and the doctor just walked in and Alice stood up, pushing the table with the laptop back at Alex.

            “I’ll be by tomorrow behave until then huh?” Alex nodded and her serious eyes met the doctors and before he could start to speak.

            “Just get me the fuck out of here, you have 24 hours.”

*****

            “So when do I get to meet his remarkable Ro?” Tina asked Oscar as they walked into the courtroom, and Oscar smiled, Tina was finally coming around. She’d been depressed about Bette‘s self imposed exile from life. Now she had a new cause this toxic spill in northern California.

            “Hold on, I have to go to the car. Can you bring this stuff in?” Oscar asked putting another pile of folders in Tina‘s already over loaded arms. She grimaced as Oscar ran back to the car, and Tina turned and slammed right into someone. She couldn’t see who, for the huge lumbering pile of folders that went crashing down to the ground.

            “Fuck!” Tina yelled and she saw someone kneeling down and starting to pick them up with her, a soft chuckle from the person she’d bumped into.

            “We’ve got to stop meeting like this bella.” The dark haired Latina with the smoldering look said, and Tina froze again. The woman was dressed in an Armani suit, black on blue and Tina swallowed, and she was sure that it had been audible. Lord in heaven this woman was hot.

            “Ummm.. Errr….” The Latina cocked an eyebrow making her face change expressions totally and Tina gathered the files and muttered under her breath.

            “Ro is going to kill this is a mess now…. He’s never going to be able to find anything in this mess.” The Latina bit her lip and helped her, she motioned to the doors and Tina nodded yes.

            “I’m sure she’ll understand…” Tina shook her head and said in a desperate voice.

            “From what Oscar says he’s a perfectionist. He has yet to lose a case and me messing up the files isn’t going to help him keep his track record in tact.” The Latina noticed she’d said ‘he’ and hadn’t picked up on the fact she’d in fact, said ‘she’. She let it slide and just grinned. They dropped the files on the table and Tina sighed the Latina obviously knowing what she was doing, she was sorting the files and putting them in small piles.

            “All rise…” The bailiff began and Tina moved to behind the plaintiff’s table, she saw the Latina fixing her jacket and Tina was about to ask her why she was there? Who was this woman?

            “Rosita Navarro for the Plaintiff your honor. If you’ll give me a minute Your Honor I dropped my files and need just a moment of the courts time.” Ro said as the judge motioned to her, and she turned around and whispered to Tina whose face was pale and her mouth gapping.

            “I told you, she wasn’t going to be pissed bella.” Tina sat down and a small grin started to spread on her face as Oscar came running in with the files, he shot Tina a look and wondered what she was grinning about.

*****

            Jenny was sitting with Carmen at Twilight it was early evening and the place was already packed with men and women alike. Carmen was staring at Jenny, thinking how sexy her eyes were in this light.

            “Is it always this busy here?” Carmen asked Jenny who shrugged her shoulders and followed a cute blonde’s progress across the dance floor. Carmen watched as Jenny watched. A bit of anger in her voice as she spoke.  “Do you have to do that?” Carmen asked growling.

            “Do what?” Jenny asked innocently as the blonde passed them, and Jenny‘s blue eyes followed. Carmen grabbed her chin and made her look at her, dark eyes intense as she said to Jenny.

            “That! That checking out everyone and everything that crosses your path.”

            “That is part of her charm. Slutty yet innocent.” Marina said from behind Jenny and Carmen looked up to see this exotically tall woman standing there, her hand on Jenny‘s shoulder.

            “It’s part of her flaws.” Carmen corrected as she stood up, slamming her beer down on the bar and turning to leave. Jenny tried to grab her but Carmen whipped away her hand, she was too angry about this to talk now.

            “Carmen, don’t go. Please come back here and sit down with me.” Jenny pleaded and Marina moved to the now open seat and sat down, her long legs crossed. Jenny gave her a venomous look, and Marina ignored it, Carmen walked away, her hand waving good bye to Jenny over her shoulder.

            “Why did you do that Marina? You had no right to say that, you upset her.” Jenny scoffed and Marina ordered a drink, and Jenny sat back down. She knew that there was no point in running after Carmen, she was too angry to talk too. She sighed and sipped on the beer, her head resting in her hand.

            “She doesn’t understand you Jenny, you are a complex woman finding out who she is, and Carmen has already been on the journey and is not interested in yours.” Marina said, and Jenny blinked, she covered her mouth and tried to not smile.

            “When did you become Yoda?”

*****

            Dana was sitting on the bench, re-lacing her shoes when she looked up and saw her mother walking towards her. She froze, her mother stopping once she knew that Dana had spotted her. She raised a hand and Dana stood, reaching down and grabbing her sunglasses. She stood, not knowing what to do, or what to say.

            “Hello dear.” Her mother said, as if nothing had transpired in the last months. Her parent’s hadn’t exiled her; they hadn’t refused to come to her wedding. Not that there had been a wedding in the end, but it was the thought that counted.

            “Mother.” Dana said coldly, and she took a deep breath, you can do this Dana. She is, after all, your mother.

            “I needed to see you Dana.” Her mother began and Dana suddenly got angry, she set her jaw and shook her head. Today wasn’t shaping up to be a god day to begin with, and now this, her mother.

            “You know what you need isn’t part of my agenda today mom. I have a life, one that I am proud of! I know that kills your sensibilities, the Republican party will be oh so devastated that their number one fund raiser’s daughter is a muff diving….”

            “I left your father Dana.” Sharon cut her off and Dana froze in mid sentence, her mother continued. “I was never as brave as you are Dana; I always thought that I should be who my mother thought I should be. I rode, I married, and I had children. I was the model daughter and my mother never said a good word to me in all the time I was doing those things, she always wanted better. So I gave her better, I gave her my life. I… Well I… I too fell in love with a girlfriend, and if I had let my passion drive me, instead of what my mother wanted, I might have been a much better person for it.” Dana dropped her tennis racket and said in a voice, very high pitched and sounding very much like Alice at that moment.

            “The who now?!?”

*****

            “She’s coming home with the tube?” Tim asked as he pulled the fridge open and threw in some carrots and an apple rolled off the counter and he snagged it in mid air. He bounced it up and down and smiled at his quick reflexes.

            “Nice catch coach.” Vanessa said and he turned and caught her, kissing her lightly as she smiled into the kiss.

            “Yes, she is coming home today, it was that or she was going to jump from the window at least that is what she told the doctor. He scheduled the surgery for two days from now. As long as she keeps the thing hidden, I’m all for it.”

            “As long as he keeps his cock in his pants, I’ll keep my tube in mine.” Alex said and Jo twapped her on the back of the head and she dropped the laptop case on the floor next to the door.

            “I’ll shot you, I swear.” Jo threatened and Alex chuckled she was weak, pale and tired but she was out of that hell hole. Jo had a gently hand on the small of Alex‘s back, and she hadn’t flinched away a good sign Jo thought.

            “Hey Alex.” Tim said with a wave, smiling as he watched Vanessa turn into a bouncing four year old around her sister. She was filled with light as she hugged Alex, and Alex pulled her close. Playing absently with her silky hair and smelling her clean non hospital smell as they hugged.

            “Sister dear easy on the old woman.” Alex whispered, and Vanessa didn’t want to let go, Alex was letting her touch her and she certainly didn’t want to let go.

            “Yeah the doctor made me promise that she’d stay off the bike and to make sure she wasn’t going to go out hunting some killer before the surgery.” Jo chuckled, as she shook Tim‘s hand and he introduced himself, and she grinned well he was fucking cute she thought.

            “Nice to meet ya, but I have to run, my woman is at home stewing that I’m still in LA. I fly out in like 45 minutes, lucky that it’s my plane huh? Pez, you call me when you get on your feet, I have a work proposal for ya girl. Laters darlins.” Jo said, winking and she was gone.

            “Have you noticed that she is very quick and disappears at the drop of a hat?” Vanessa asked and Pez nodded,

            “I have no comment on the odd happenings when Jo Wheaton is in the house.”

            “I have one, a comment that is, I’m hungry. How about some steak on the grill Alex to welcome you home?” Alex brightened up, and she went to the fridge and pulled out a Budweiser, and popped the top of the bottle.

            “Long as you are cooking coach.”


******
Moving
8.24.04
JG Marie

Fear is what drives us
All our journeys dictated by it
I don’t want to go along for the ride

I yearn for something different
I want to lean up
Touch the sun
Fingertips are burning

I am young
Yet feel so old
Aching in my bones
In my heart

Tumbling down I go
Can you stop me from the fall
Always running uphill
Never a downgrade in sight
My earth moves
Our actions making me sway