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    Phobia (Chapter One)

    Story written on December 8, 2006 by 2geeky.
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 1539
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=63511
    Author Notes:

    Fear of closet monsters and fear of being alone. Set a few weeks after season 3.

    Shane-

    After Carla and Shay had gone to bed, I collapsed on the couch and although I was tired I couldn’t quiet my brain with the opiate of sleep. Every night the same thing happened; I laid awake thinking about everything I left behind- Carmen, my friends, my apartment, my job, and anything of equal importance.

    I kept telling myself that if I hadn’t invited my father, Gabriel, to my wedding then maybe I could’ve lived happily ever after. Maybe Carmen and I could’ve bought a house outside of the city but not too far away so we could still see our friends and her family. A house in a friendly neighborhood in case we ever had kids in the future. A house with a nice backyard so that Carmen could finally have the garden she’d always wanted. And of course, a house with a master bedroom so that every time we made love she wouldn’t secretly be scared of the walls closing in because the room was so small.

    But now I’d never know because I left her. It may have seemed selfish, but I left her in hopes that someday she’d find someone that would never hurt her, like I had. And someone that wasn’t a born fuck-up, like I am. Yet that still stop the constant pain that gripped my heart and the fucking reminder that I’d never have another chance to make everything better.

    Then came the tears. I couldn’t stop myself from crying and I didn’t try to stop myself either since I was the only one awake.

    Why couldn’t I have said that?

    Why couldn’t I have done this?

    What was Carmen thinking when I she heard that I had left her for the last time?

    Do any of my friends know where I am?

    Does anybody still care?

    “Why are you crying?” Shay’s meek, little voice startled me as I attempted to compose myself, with great difficulty, and wipe away the tears on falling from my eyes.

    Sitting up and turning to face him, I answered,” I was just thinking.”

    He pulled the blanket tighter over his shoulders. “About what?”

    I had too many answers for that question so I gave a light smile and said through a broken voice, “Nothing.” I noticed that he kept taking glances towards his bedroom. “What’s wrong?”

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    Comments

    1. i really love the start of this story.. shane and shay are great together.. is this a Sharmen/Danish story?.. hope shane comes home soon and everything works out.. please continue soon

    2. I like, I like! Nice take on Dana surviving, getting back together with Lara. Alice jealous? And Shane the Yoda/rock foundation…will she be back to support Alice? I’m looking forward to seeing where you are going with this, please post soon!

    8. great start and i love this fic but i am a sharmen fan forever and its hard to see them apart but i have hopes maybe you will get it right where the show got it wrong and they can work it out, i love shane and shay please keep it up.

    9. hoorayyyyy Awesome-tastic start! i want, more, more, more! lol oh and just a lil more plz :) I’m glad dana is alive! poor Alice tho :( wonder if she’ll go back to her crazy roots, as for shane i thought that was cute that lil interaction with her brother. Well you know what i want … and you know what i think of you- 2 great for words :)

    10. ooh I’m hooked already, great job so far! I too love the take on the dana surviving situation and poor poor Alice! Dana can be so dense when it comes to people’s feelings and I’m sure most of the time it is in an innocent way. anyways hope you post soon :)

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