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Planet Terror and the Crazy 88
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I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
It seems that all that was good has died
Oh no, the world is a scary place
Now that you’ve woken up the demon in me…
Bette moved carefully behind Helena, keeping her guns ready. Two were strapped to her back, and she held a mini M16 as she walked. Helena’s ‘leg’ was encased in a plastic covering to keep sand out of it. Helena held two pistols as well, for short range combat. So far, nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. And then they spotted the problem.
“There,” Bette whispered, pointing over Helena’s shoulder. Helena nodded. A clear path could be seen where the infected were wandering in. There were a dozen of them. To Helena’s right, a patch of bushes barely hid two corpses—their legs had been mangled, and their arms severed. All they could do was roll around and gag and garble menacingly at Helena and Bette. Bette walked over and calmly blew them both away as Helena opened fire on the dozen in the open. Sand flew in the air. When it settled on the mangled dead, another of the infected cautiously made her way into the clearing. She seemed wary of Bette and Helena.
“They’re learning.” Helena said, turning to Bette. Bette nodded. The infected woman turned her back to them, making her way back out the way she came in. Bette and Helena exchanged a surprised glance. Helena looked up to her right,
“Fuck, Bette, look out!” They both turned at once, their guns aimed into the sun. Though they couldn’t see clearly, a shadow of at least ten infected stood on the rocks high above.
They leapt toward Bette and Helena who cut them down in the air.
“GODDAMMIT! THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING!” A shower of blood and body parts rained down on them as they knelt. They were careful to protect their faces, but their backs and hair were coated thickly with blood and chunks of flesh.
“Fucksake, fucksake! FUCKSAKE!” Helena stood, screaming hysterically. “I’m fucking PREGNANT and this is what I have to DEAL WITH? I NEED A FUCKING DAY OFF BETTE!!!” Regardless of the fact that Helena had come up with this plan, Bette nodded and hummed soothingly.
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Loved it… but we missed the shark and zombie rumble, dangit! That one had me really nervous again, I was sure someone was going to die, but it wasn’t who I thought. Okay, the only two references I noticed were Kill Bill (not a zombie flick) and 28 Days Later. (Unless Dawn of the Dead was in there — kid with the doll, maybe?– and I missed it) Excellent again, helebette, thanks for this!
Hooray!
Oh my.I am hooked on this story, even though it is rather ridiculous.
If civilization can survive this nightmare, I think Jenny’s next book should be all about baby names. Constance the Ignoble? It’s a very scary situation when you have to rely on her for strategic thinking. helebette, do I detect some distain on your part towards the corporate world? First Starbucks, now the suited zombies.
Jenny’s sudden appearance was more frightening than any zombie fight, slow moving or otherwise.
Love Kill Bill 1&2. Alice is crazy. They took great pride in killing the suits. Where did the shark come from. Going to S America is a long way. and Jenny did make a wee bit of sense. thanks
LOL @ “Do Zombie/shark fights turn you on, baby?” Oh man, I felt for sure someone other than Dakota was for the chop, Jenny is so maniacal in this it’s delicious, I’m blaming you for my current lack of work, but it’s such fun, ditto halfofone .. they need an escape, but secretly I like them fighting the scary zombies, i like the suspense :)
Nightmarish. It’s like the Day of the Triffids trying to rebuild a life amongst all that horror. But a trek across country would be awful too – they need an island.