Fan Fiction
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Renovations
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"What are you up to?" Alice asked as she ambled up the front walk of Bette’s house. "I thought Tina was moving back in this weekend?”
"We’ve delayed it a week so I could finish with the renovations," Bette replied, flipping the page of the Sunday Times as she let her legs stretch out in front of her on the steps.
"What type of renovations are you doing?" Alice asked. "You love your house."
"We both do, but we thought, in the interest of our sex life, we should consider how our surroundings impact us," Bette replied, looking up at Alice. "We seem to have an affinity for kitchens."
Alice stared blankly.
"Kitchens?" she finally asked.
"Yeah, we can’t seem to keep our hands off of each other if we’re in a kitchen together," Bette said. She got up and moved toward the door. "Come have a look."
Alice followed her inside.
"Oh God, it’s so different! You’ve completely gutted the living room and dining room and replaced them with…"
"One big kitchen," Bette completed her thought. She waved over to the back wall "Oh, but there’s the elevator."
"You installed an elevator?" Alice asked, incredulous.
"It only goes down one floor," Bette explained. "You don’t really need to go down more than one at a time to have a full appreciation of the experience."
"You dug a basement in Southern California so you could install an elevator?" Alice clarified.
"Yeah," Bette said. "Don’t ask."
“It looks like a huge project,” Alice looked around the room. “The bedrooms are still intact?”
“We only ever start in the kitchen,” Bette said as she nodded in the affirmative. “We always finish up in the bedroom.”
“Hey babe,” Tina walked in the front door. “Hey Alice. How do you like the renos?”
“Weird,” Alice replied.
The glint of the stainless steel elevator door caught Tina’s eye.
She walked back, mesmerized.
“Oh, is it working?” she asked Bette.
“Yup, the installers left just before Alice got here,” Bette replied.
“And I think that’s my cue,” Alice said as she turned to leave. “You two … enjoy the new house.”
“Oh we will,” Bette smiled and glanced over at Tina with a wink.
Tina pulled Bette into a passionate embrace, barely waiting for Alice to leave, and they kissed hungrily.
"It’s working already," Bette said breathlessly.
"It was your brilliant idea," Tina replied, backing into the bedroom with a smile.
"Wait, where’s Angelica?" Bette asked
"Oh she’s just a convenient plot device whose presence or absence we need not explain," Tina replied simply.
"Oh," Bette responded. "Okay. Great then, let’s do it."
They left the door to the bedroom open so that the light from the morning sun would reflect off the newly installed marble backsplash. The key to their ongoing sexual fidelity had been discovered. The future looked bright indeed.
(the end.)
told you it was silly.
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JKS, it might be a bit silly, but it’s very clever!
Silly works for you, swimmie. Follow your impulses.
yes, but an interesting reno none the least!!! There has been a severe drought in Tibette posting…apparently all the sex on tv hasn’t yet made it’s way to inspiring our beloved tibette writers into writing…So this is a welcome snipit, tks !!!
Swimmie that was hilarious especially the line about Angie being a plot device.Love it.
thats my take, wheres angie??? i loved it, as always. truly i dont think theres anything you can write that i wont love. thx
Thank you for making me laugh!
Hehehe. I didn’t know you also dabble in comedy! :> This is silly but clearly based on proven L Word trends. Most Bette and Tina love scenes definitely started cooking in the kitchen. “Wait, where’s Angelica?” Bette asked. “Oh she’s just a convenient plot device whose presence or absence we need not explain,” Tina replied simply. => LOL! You’d think Angelica’s enrolled in a boarding preschool if there’s such a thing. Thanks for this silliness, JKS, and looking forward to the “White Lie” Sunday B&T lovin’ chapter. :>
ROFLMAO!!!! I am soooo glad noone was here at work with me right now cause they would be looking at me strangely. This was hilarious! I loved it! Such a good way to break up a boring day. Thank You!!!
Funny~~~I couldn’t stop laughing.
Good one Swimmie… not your style maybe, but excellent nonetheless! Thanks for the laugh! =)
You are too funny! Thanks for the laugh.
What the hell!!!?..LMAO…ah well,why should IC have all the fun
hee hee, that was funny! bit disturbing tho cas my mom made a giant kitchen in our house out of three rooms!! I love that Bette reads the Sunday Times, small cute things like that in a FF always make me squee! i love the way you write jks, any chance you’d consider writing the aftermath of “It doesnt really compare” before it just flashes to them naked?
so good and so funny. thank you.
So funny love the line about angie ! LMAO..:)
it was hilarious, thanks for make me laugh!!!!
Novel and funny, swim. Although I thought the most humorous of lines was: “You don’t really need to go down more than one at a time to have a full appreciation of the experience.” Seems that Ilene thinks you need an excruciatingly long montage of the experience between multiple couples to fully appreciate it. At least, that’s my take on it! Many thanks, swim!
Silly but always enjoyable. Thanks!
Hilarious. That is all I can say..
Ha ha ha, that was very witty! Enjoyed it a lot, esp the line about Angie being a convenient plot device. That just about sums it this show really!
silly clever funny especially the comment about Ange being ‘just a convenient plot device…’. I have often wondered where Ange was??????? MORE soon huh?
JKS….funny. Plot devices….too funny.
OMG, that was too funny. I enjoyed it and would love to see this happen in the show. It would bring some humor to the screen. Besides the show is already pretty crazy why not add something like this to it.
That was funny!
Hello Swim (I hope you don’t mind?!), yeah, silly indeed. But it makes me wanna *see the light* to say: Kudos to you! I think it really needs a creative, attentive eye to capture these things in a story in which every line is witty and cracks people up all over the place – written in 15 minutes ^^ (I especially liked the last three lines “They left the door to the bedroom open so that the light from the morning sun would reflect off the newly installed marble backsplash. The key to their ongoing sexual fidelity had been discovered. The future looked bright indeed.” Can almost hear the voice in the off. heheh) Thanks for … um … taking the time … lol … and thanks for sharing!
JKS that was brilliantly funny! LMAO all the way through. I like a little levity to offset the massive Tibette drama!
Hey, JKS, this was funny, indeed and we enjoyed it. Sometimes we need these refreshing sillyness to distract ourselves from the tedious days we may have. Thanks for sharing it. We liked it. Sincerely, Lucero & Marsha – From Mexico City
This was great with my morning coffee! Thanks!
it might of been silly but i laughed my ass off…great job…next post please!!!
Hilarious.Still laughingThanks