She could still feel the things she felt two hours ago – the sand cool and hard under her blanket, Alice warm and soft above.

I’m gonna be late, she thought. Behind her was Malibu, with a quick trip through Long Beach. Literally only long enough to jump in and out of the shower.

She tried to tell herself that this is serious shit, that she’d be in the middle fucking east in two weeks time, but no matter how she tried, she could not summon any regret for lingering so long on the beach.

She breathed slowly, leaned into a turn. She could still smell Alice’s perfume, the way it had mingled with the smells of sand and sea air. The way it felt to lay there, all night, and breathe together. The muscles at the corners of her mouth felt strained, the only fatigue in her body this morning.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Six months back in California and she was not supposed to fall for anyone. Certainly not a civilian, not someone so different.

Not this impossibly free creature with her little dresses and her trendy friends and her utter lack of discretion.

The red warning light has been flashing in her mind now for weeks, so constant it had become a soothing cadence.

If Alice was someone like her, someone serious and sensible, she thought, would I have ever fallen for her? Could I?

Her heart knew the answer, but didn’t bother to voice it. A sign said Los Alamitos, and she leaned forward. The miles passed under her bike like breathing, like water. She pulled up her sleeve, and the watch on her wrist told her that she would just make it. She pushed her cuff back in place. She wore the watch last night. An apology. A request. A show of faith for the universe. She wasn’t Lisa.

A road. She veered right, down the dusty brown road. Exchanged a nod with the young plebe at the security checkpoint. What do you see when you look at me? Just another woman/nigger/dyke doing a job you should have? A nice fuck maybe but unfit for duty? Don’t ask.