PART 8

Oh my God, this feels so good.
Shane’s naked skin right on my own naked skin.
Shane’s sweat, Shane’s smell all over my body.
Shane’s dark hair softly caressing my face while she pushes down, firmly, on me.
Shane’s lips on my lips, on my fingers, on my neck, on my forehead, on my stomach, on every part of me.
Shane’s breath mixing with my own breath.
Shane’s eyes right into mine, desperately looking for something – a sign, a trace, a memory.
A sign, a trace, a memory she’s not destined to find yet.
And I’m so sorry for that. I am so very sorry.
And, at the same time, what we are doing feels so right, so perfectly true.
Suddenly I realize that it is. True. And sincere. And right.

”Sono sul ciglio della strada amore scusami
Io ti sorrido ma non puoi più guardarmi
Confesso che non ho più armi e sogni qui per te
Per te che mi aiutavi ogni giorno a vivere
Per te che ora io non vivo più…”
[“I’m at the corner of the street, I am so sorry dear
I’m smiling at you but you can’t see me anymore
I confess I have no more weapons and dreams here for you
For you, who used to help me live everyday
It’s for you that I’m not living anymore…”]

I slip my fingers through her hair and kiss her lips, opening my mouth, letting her tongue meet mine in a warm embrace.
My body shivers under that intimate contact.
It’s amazing how this person I hardly remember, knows exactly how to touch me, how to make me feel pleasure, how to deal with every single inch of my body. It’s like my skin is a well known path to her, a trail she is perfectly acquainted with.
I close my eyes and give myself to her, totally.
Shane seems to feel that my body has suddenly relaxed into her arms and stops for a while, staring at me with those shining, greenish, wolfish eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asks concerned, breathing heavily, her heartbeat so loud that I can feel it clearly.
I smile softly and graze her cheek with my thumb.
“Yeah… Please, don’t stop… I don’t want you to stop…”.
She tilts her head, confused, narrowing her eyes.
“I’m not going to… “. And then, blinking a tear away, she adds gently: “…I’m not gonna stop making love to you until you tell me to, Carmen… Because I love you, and I’ve been missing you desperately…”.
Her fingers brush my side, then spread on my thigh, tenderly.
“I can feel your love, Shane…” I murmur, “…And I’m not surprised to know that I loved you too…”.
She clenches her teeth for an instant and I bit my tongue in regret. That past tense has hit her like a fist.