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    Sharmen: I Gotta Go…Part19

    Story written on September 25, 2005 by CasperFanFirst.
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    33 votes, average: 2.61 out of 533 votes, average: 2.61 out of 533 votes, average: 2.61 out of 533 votes, average: 2.61 out of 533 votes, average: 2.61 out of 5 (33 votes, average: 2.61 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 11
    Words: 2934
    Story Shortlink: https://www.assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=56772
    Author Notes:

    As the days get longer, the girls find different ways to occupy their time.


    Chapter 48

    You can bet, that every time I close my eyes, every time I’m silently daydreaming, every night when I go to bed I’m dreamin’ about you. From big things, like the first time we’ll go on a date or when my friends finally meet you- to little things like, signing both our names on the Christmas cards this year. Or the next time I’ll hear your voice. It’s okay for me to daydream this stuff because in daydreams, your heart doesn’t get tangled, but in real life, that’s when it can get tangled. I don’t like knots, especially not when their living inside me. I’ve tried to move on. Especially mentally. I’ve tried to get your out of my head but whenever I force myself to have my daydreams about someone- anyone else it’s not the same. Even with my perfect girl. She’s never you. So eventually I always end up back here, feeling as if I’m about to explode with my feelings for you, then, since I have no way to ever, ever act on these feelings- I end up spilling them on to my notebook like an overflowing plant. My words going on and on until this jet black pen finally dries up and runs out of ink There’s something I’ve just realised. I love writing your name. Carmen. Carmen. Carmen. Handwriting. Big letters. Fancy. As long as it’s glistening in ink in front of me, and it was carefully written by these fingers I could do it for days. But the way I like it most is when it’s written beside my name. Shane + Carmen.

    I stole your journal. I’ve been trying to memorize the way you curl your C’s and dot your I’s. You’ve written what seems like thousands upon thousands of unsent letters to her. That *****. You declare your love for her in almost everyone, and what amazes me the most is the dates of some of these, some are written no less then the same week you met her. You knew that there was something between you, a wild misconception of love, on your mind. I feel so sad for you, my baby. You have no idea what love is. I cant wait to show you. And I know- when I do- you’ll love me so much more than you think you loved her.

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