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The Dying of the Light Part 22
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None of them could forget Bette’s next words. "Am I so crazy that my mind is playing cruel tricks on me?" It seemed like a rhetorical question initially, and it had stunned them all to silence. "Why am I still being punished?" She asked in an anguished whisper.
Bette couldn’t figure out why she was still in this hell. She had tried to escape reality, and ended up in the fantasy-land where her friends, all the people she loved the most were here, together.
Tina was with them, laughing like no time had passed. Had she always been there, and Bette had not seen her. Had not seen her pregnant body and heard her pain. Why did she always have to go back to this place?
It didn’t seem right that the world could continue this torment and not let her find the piece she desired. "Your not really here." She had whispered, and finally Helena and Shane had gone to her, their arms resting on her back.
"We’re here," Shane said simply, not knowing what else to say. If she didn’t know better she would assume that Bette was coming off a bad trip.
"It’s real love," Helena stated unsure how you convince anyone of the reality of a situation.
Bette shook her head, her left hand scratching at her right nervously. Shane pulled it away, not wanting Bette to hurt herself anymore.
"No," she stated emphatically, "Tina wouldn’t be here." why would Tina come?
For 10 minutes they had tried to convince her, but eventually a nurse came in to sedate the agitated woman. "It’s not fair." She whispered over and over again until she fell asleep.
No it wasn’t fair.
That night they all decided that they wouldn’t take Alice with them, not until she asked and they were sure she was up to it. They resolved not to intentionally hurt Alice again, she had been hurt too much already.
"What was it like then?" Alice pleaded, tears rolling down her face.
Shane sighed, not sure of the best way to say it. "You were so worked up when you visited her in the hospital Alice, we didn’t want to put you through that." No one wanted her to see Bette the way she currently was.
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This story is really painful to read but I just can’t stop, it’s very addictive! I hope it’ll serve as a reminder that some of us do get through this. Please??
Depression is such a debilitating disease. Reading about Bette in this condition is terribly sad. Somehow she has to find the inner strength to recover.
Hello My Most Amazingly Beautiful Dee… with each and every passing word you share with me you can completely consume me with the darkness of a persons fears and the fear that one might not be enough for ‘love’ and the journey that not only affects one person but their entire family… and the world around them… I completely love how you delve into the mythology of these characters you give them depth and a past that completes the whole circle of who and where they come from… you are completely amazing my friend… I am so happy to finally be back in the game. Love and Hugs, Always and Forever, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels, proud cuzzie to the ever inspiring Eunichick, Proud Cuzzie to our next ‘reader turned writer’ Cuzzie Patty, Proud Cuzzie to my Muse TCuz… and ever patient fanner of the ever amazing Deean)
This is a heartbrakeing story Deean, the friends make it all so bittersweet. Thank you Md aka Oma
that was heartbreaking… do they really think keeping angie from her will help her?hey update when you can :)PPS
Wow… This story is so powerful.. your writing is flawless and Bette’s journey is so familiar to me. Thank you for sharing this story! PPS
i meant cant wait :)
wow. I just caught up with your story and it is brilliant. Your such an amazing writer its surprising. The story is sad and moving and i hope Bette gets better. I seriously can wait for the next update.
Hi, dear sweet Deean! We always take our time to analyse the scenes you bring to us on your updates. This story has been painful to read from the very beginning and we made it clear to you. However, we also believe that sharing our thoughts would provide another insightful point. Therefore, after reading carefully, we are going to offer our honest appraisal. We still see Bette lost in deep darkness and she is not letting anyone in. We would define it as an obscure knowhere land, where she is uncapable of positive thoughts or a different appreciation of life. She is in the state of denial. That is, she denies herself the chance to identify herself as worthy or as a reliable person. There is no courage, no ambition, no desire to live. She chastisses herself for not fulfilling her suicide attempt. There is an absence of love; most importantly, the love she should feel for herself. We are of the opinion that if you love yourself, then you can transmit that love to others. Otherwise, the only thing you transmit is bitterness and the rage for being alive. Depression is sky high on Bette and if she is into medication, it is not working properly. Shutting herself from the outside world will only make it difficult to get the help she SO desperately needs. We think she requires a personal therapist. Someone with the sensitivity to reach out and get her out of knowhere land. Otherwise, we see a destructive pattern that will succeed in finalizing what she couldn’t accomplish when she sliced her wrists. There should be something that even Bette Lillian Porter could recognize as an instrument to return to the world of the living. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez) P.S. Hang in there, with those 3 Master degrees. Also, take your time to see and smell the flowers.