There was also the period in her life, right after the rape and before meeting the ‘gang’ as she liked to call them, when her mother had re-appeared in her life.  Her mother had conned her into pulling one, a con that is.  She’d spent 3 months in jail because of it. 

            She’d been a minor, and had gotten off easy.  Lucky for her, her mother gone like the wind again.  No charged were pressed because Shane had given her mother a parting gift; a lie that saved her mother’s name.  Not that it had ever been as good.  She sighed again, resuming her ball throwing. 

            Shane got up suddenly and threw the file onto the couch she wanted Sam to read it.  She had to read it.  Sam had to know what her father knew, what he’d inevitably bring up at a crux moment.  Shane sighed again finding she was doing that a lot today. 

            She turned the big screen TV on and slid in a DVD of Buffy; she sat back in the lounger and watched as Buffy was dealing with her mother going to parent night.  The arrival of Spike and Drucilla in Sunnydale.  She grunted, thinking Buffy was way cuter than Willow.  Where was this Faith everyone was talking about?  She moved her *****, getting comfortable; Spike had a cool accent.  

            Shane got up and found the cold chocolate bar in the fridge, wondering why it was buried under other things in the back.  She shrugged and went back into the living room.  She saw a shadow at the window and she bolted over to the window.  Looking out, she rushed to the French doors at the side of the house, yanking them open and rushing out.  Shane glanced around and saw nothing.  Shane turned and went back into the house, locking the door.  She leaned up against it, this was the second time that she’d felt someone was following her. 

            “Christ I’ve lost my ***** mind now.”

*****

Never Scorned Enough

The painted sorrows in my heart
In the deepest darkest shades of ebony
Rip the sky out from my soul
The sky that thunders in and over me
Take me to the blackness there
Hidden safe and forever free
To the darkened razor edges of
My bleeding faded sanity

Black sky, rains down on me
I try to scream, I can’t even speak
Black sky, rains down on me
Forever scorned in black deceit

Blind my eyes with nights embrace
Don’t tell me that I can not hide
A sack cloth veiled across my face
In darkened bliss but so lost inside

In my corner all alone, I’ll hide
Living to lose, while dying to win
To suffer the horrors of my mind
So soon the nightmares will begin

Black sky, rains down on me
Just so much needing my only one
Black sky, rains down on me
I can’t go back and I can’t go on

Remember the love, before that first caress
Eyes closed, held tight, have you forgot?
Offered, is a Lovers invitation
From so far away, wanted or not

Will I have your memory
Or will it have me
Paint my sky in blazing blue
No more blackened ebony

Black sky, rains down on me
I try to scream, I can’t even speak
Black sky, rains down on me
Forever scorned in black deceit

You don’t have to see my heart
Just see the black in my eyes
They burn into you, forever mine
Blue sky save me from my dark demise

For love and pain, these things insane

I’ve come to know them really the same
Please show our love not to be a lie
Used and abused, bought and sold in vane

Black sky, rains down on em
I try to scream, I can’t even speak
Black sky, rains down on me
Forever scorned in black deceit

Black sky, rains down on me
Just so much needing my only one
Black sky, rains down on me
I can’t go back and only with you I’ll go on